For years we had a do-nothing Parliament, because no party had a majority.
Now, in the midst of a national emergency, we have a do-nothing government, led by a do-nothing Prime Minister.
Confronted with devastating floods, Brits trapped on a coronavirus doom-ship and a racist loony in his own office, Boris Johnson sat on his podgy dabs.
He did nothing until outraged public opinion forced him to act. And then it was invariably too little, too late.
Days after Storm Dennis hit the Pennines, he sent the Army to Mytholmroyd – useful but inadequate. Elsewhere, communities had to fend for themselves – and are still doing so.
Mr Procrastination refused to call a Cobra crisis meeting of ministers, or visit the afflicted areas, and then, late one night, grudgingly offered penny-pinching emergency compensation: £500 max.
A full week after the Americans airlifted US citizens from Diamond Princess in Yokohama, his officials finally sanctioned a mercy mission for stranded UK passengers and crew. Meanwhile David and Sally Abel, whose Facebook messages from the stricken liner made riveting TV, were confirmed as victims of the deadly virus.
Delay cost them freedom, and potentially their lives.
They will not be allowed on the airlift bringing Brits back home from Japan today.
And for days after Downing Street adviser Andrew Sabisky, 28, (but going on 12) was revealed as the author of racist and misogynist statements, Johnson refused to disown the “weirdo misfit”.
Parliament is in recess, so we were spared his prime ministerial bleating: “Ah, yes, these floods, er, ar, all jolly difficult, my heart goes out etc etc and my Tory government will stop it. Er, whatever it is.”
Chronic indecision – fiddling while Britain drowns – qualifies him for the title of The Great Faffer.
You may have more robust versions, but this is a family newspaper, so I could not possibly comment.
