Time to sign off – I’ll leave you with reaction from a raucous Old Trafford, where Cristiano Ronaldo inevitably took centre stage. He’s back, alright.

The post-match thoughts of Ole Gunnar Solskjær: “When you win a game, you enjoy it. Loads of expectations today for the team, for Cristiano, and they delivered. He’s developed into a fantastic goal scorer, knowing where to be ... he drops in, links the play well, and gets into the box when he has to. [He and Bruno] have a great respect for each other, and we’ll develop that relationship here.”

Do join Scott Murray for Chelsea v Aston Villa, where Romelu Lukaku has just fired the hosts in front:

Here’s West Ham manager David Moyes: “It was a hard-fought point ... we played well but didn’t quite have the connection in the forward areas. Southampton defended very well.” On Antonio’s red card, he says the striker “shouldn’t have dived in ... he’s on a yellow card, and he’s given the referee a decision to make. I haven’t seen it again, but it’s probably the correct decision.”

Here’s how things stand in Scotland. Hibs and Hearts meet in Sunday’s derby, where the prize for the winner is top spot in the table.

In the Bundesliga earlier, Erling Haaland scored twice in a comeback win at Leverkusen, while Wolfsburg stayed top of the pile with a 2-0 win at Greuther Fürth.

Mikel Arteta on Arsenal’s win: “We were playing not only the game, but with emotions, and the games we’ve lost. It was a deserved win, we should maybe have scored more. We started really well, but lost our rhythm and started giving the ball away. We did better in the second half. Six new signings played today, they did really well, they showed courage and personality.”

In League Two, Forest Green climb to the top while Leyton Orient are third after thrashing Oldham, who look in big trouble at the foot of the table.

Some reaction from Old Trafford:

Bruno Fernandes: “Everyone knows what Cristiano brings to the club, and the world of football. It’s about everything we can do for the team, and getting a results. Good players can always be good together, and play in the same team. I was really happy to score, of course.”

Newcastle’s Steve Bruce: “That first goal is his goalscoring instinct – if there’s such a thing as a genuine superstar, this kid is it. We made a good fist of the game, but we weren’t quite good enough.”

It’s nice to see three clubs who have had their problems – Sunderland, Wigan and Bolton – leading the way in League One. Wimbledon and MK Dons are locked together in the play-off spots, while Ipswich drop into the bottom four.

In the Championship, Fulham’s loss at Blackpool allows West Brom to edge a point clear at the top. It was a good day for Stoke, Bournemouth and sixth-placed Coventry, who all won at home. Reading plunge into the bottom three after letting a 3-1 lead slip at home to QPR.

“I think Dundee United signed the wrong No. 7,” notes Simon McMahon. “St Mirren 0-0 United, FT.”

Elsewhere in Scotland, Celtic beat Ross County 3-0 with Albian Ajeti scoring twice and Motherwell go up to fourth with a 2-0 home win over Aberdeen. Dundee and Livingston also drew 0-0.

Here’s the latest Premier League table:

Norwich are still testing the nerves of the Arsenal fans, while Southampton go close again – Broja’s header is cleared off the line by Declan Rice.

Norwich press upfield but Arsenal counter, and Nicolas Pepe fails to take advantage. Into stoppage time there and at St Mary’s, where it’s still goalless.

At the Madejski, the away fans are going absolutely wild – Stefan Johansen has levelled for QPR at Reading. It’s 3-3!

“Big bust up between Lexi and Chef Matthew on Below Deck Med,” notes Chris N. “Deserves it’s own Clockwatch.” Is Team Hannah/Sandy the new Team Ronaldo/Messi?

Leicester keep pushing for an equaliser, Ruben Dias making a last-ditch intervention with time ticking down. “Arsenal are in control” are the fateful words on Sky, with Bukayo Saka bending the ball wide of goal. They lead Norwich 1-0 at an anxious Emirates.

Who needs Messi? Ander Herrera has his second for PSG at home to Clermont; they lead 2-0.

In League Two, Forest Green are heading top of the table after Jamille Matt’s opener against Northampton – and Sutton are on course for a first-ever EFL win. They lead 10-man Stevenage 2-1 at Gander Green Lane.

Southampton hit the post! It’s substitute Armando Broja who so nearly puts the hosts ahead against an off-colour West Ham. And there’s another goal at Old Trafford ...

Oof, susbtitutes Kelechi Iheanacho and Ademola Lookman almost combine for a Leicester leveller. Still 15 minutes or so for them to find one.

Reading lead QPR 3-2 at the Mad Stad, John Swift completing his hat-trick before Rangers hit straight back. It’s got a bit silly in League One: Cambridge 1-5 Lincoln, Ipswich 2-5 Bolton, Morecambe 3-3 Wimbledon and Rotherham 2-4 Fleetwood are all actual latest scores.

It’s five for Sheffield United! Ndiaye gets his second of the game. Elsewhere, Stoke lead Huddersfield 2-1, Luton have one back at Blackburn, and Coventry lead Middlesbrough 1-0. I invite you to imagine the face on Boro boss Neil Warnock right now.

It’s still Brentford 0-0 Brighton and Southampton 0-0 West Ham. As it stands, one of these games won’t be last on Match of the Day.

Full time scores in the Bundesliga: Leverkusen 3-4 Dortmund, Freiburg 1-1 Cologne, Fürth 0-2 Wolfsburg, Hoffenheim 0-2 Mainz, Union 0-0 Augsburg.

It’s all happening now. Celtic lead Ross County 2-0, Albian Ajeti with their second. John Swift has his second as Reading lead QPR 2-1 on a tricky day for the Championship’s early pace-setters. Sheffield United are not among them, but they lead Peterborough 4-1. Morgan Gibbs-White is the latest name on the scoresheet.

“Clockwatch could be vastly improved by streaming the video and audio the Guardian’s MBM commentator is watching so we could compare the two,” suggests Ben Bamford.

I’ll be honest, I’m watching Below Deck Mediterranean and letting the Guardian supercomputer do the rest.

No Lionel Messi for PSG today, but they lead 1-0 at home to Clermont through Ander Herrera. In Serie A, a first win of the season for Venezia, who beat fellow promoted side Empoli 2-1.

A lively old game in Leverkusen, where Dortmund have gone behind three times but now lead 4-3.

In League One, Carl Winchester has put Sunderland back in front at home to Accrington, and Ethan Chislett has equalised for Wimbledon at Morecambe. And we complete a trio of great names with Elliott List, who has got Bolton’s fifth away at Ipswich.

Ferran Torres and Ilkay Gundogan both go close for Manchester City, who have had their chances against Leicester. Back at Old Trafford, Jadon Sancho is struggling to make much of an impact.

Millwall are level at the Hawthorns, Danny Ballard with the qualiser. In League One Wigan lead Doncaster 2-1, Will Keane with both the goals.

“Plenty of goals in the Level 7 Isthmian Premier League, one of the grassroots leagues the blackout exists to protect,” notes John Dalby. “I reckon there’s probably around 4,000 fans watching the leagues ten games. Horsham being held 0-0 at Folkestone though.”

Kyle Bartley has given West Brom the lead at home to Millwall, and they’re on course to go clear at the top of the Championship. Bournemouth lead Barnsley 2-0, Dominic Solanke with the goal. And more trouble for Ipswich, who are 4-2 down at home to Bolton.

“The general goal-drought explains and excuses Arsenal’s failure to trouble Norwich,” says Charles Antaki. “It must be something in the air, nothing to do with the team’s limpness, bluntness or deep-seated malaise.”

There’s a surprise brewing at Bloomfield Road, where Josh Bowler has fired Blackpool ahead against Fulham. A quick exchange of goals at Stoke, where Jacob Brown has equalised just after Harry Toffolo had fired Huddersfield in front.

No goal! Jamie Vardy has the ball in the net for Leicester, but the assistant referee’s flag is up.

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Just the one goal in Scotland at half time, where Kevin van Veen has put Motherwell 1-0 up at Aberdeen. Celtic v Ross County, Dundee v Livingston and St Mirren v Dundee United are all goalless.

Half time at the Emirates, where Norwich are holding off Arsenal; the King Power, where Man City can’t find a breakthrough; and at St Mary’s, where very little of note has happened.

At the Hawthorns, Karlan Grant has seen his penalty saved – and it’s West Brom 0-0 Millwall at half-time.

Brentford have had the better of things against Brighton, with Bryan Mbuemo going close at the end of the half. The visitors have lost Adam Webster to injury, and Adam Lallana is also struggling. Oladapo Afolayan has fired Bolton ahead again at Ipswich; they lead 3-2.

Manchester City are turning up the heat, with Vestergaard blocking Ferran Torres’ volley before Gabriel Jesus tests Schmeichel again.

Goalless at half-time between Watford and Wolves, with Ruben Semedo scuffing a great chance for the visitors.

More bad news for Sheffield teams: Jack Marriott has levelled for Peterborough at Bramall Lane, while Wednesday are two goals down to Plymouth. Accrington have levelled at Sunderland in their top o’ the table clash, while it’s Ipswich 2-2 Bolton in a lively one at Portman Road.

The issues seem to be resolved in the USA, and I can confirm the United game is working fine in Singapore. If you’re wondering why I’m discussing global TV coverage at length, it’s because all six Premier League 3pm games are goalless. Boo!

“I have Peacock and Clockwatch,” says Mary Waltz. “Peacock allows me to watch the match, but only Clockwatch occasionally prints my rants. Advantage Clockwatch.”

It seems Canadians aren’t getting any sweet Premier League action, unless they sign up to a streaming service. “On the upside, we get to watch Alphonso Davies in the Bundesliga games, and I’ve been enjoying the WSL broadcasts,” notes Fred Decker. “I’ve also become a Guardian MBM loyalist, so there’s that.”

Blackburn have scored twice in quick succession to lead Luton 2-0 at Ewood Park, while John Swift has equalised for Reading at home to QPR.

Still no goals anywhere in the Premier League, including at Old Trafford, where the ball strikes Jamaal Lascelles’ hand in the area – but the referee and VAR are collectively unmoved.

Francisco Trinçao has impressed for Wolves at Watford, and has just had an effort from 25 yards saved – but the hosts are enjoying the better of the game so far.

“Just want to note that the Manchester United game isn’t playing live in Canada either,” notes Paul Reid. “Currently our sports networks are playing the Bundesliga instead.” Typical Canadian hipsters.

An update for US Prem-watchers: it seems the really big game is still available on the Peacock streaming service.

Ivan Toney is looking lively for Brentford again, and almost scores from 40 yards after spotting Robert Sanchez off his line. Speaking of long-range lobs, Patrik Schick has put Leverkusen back ahead at half-time against Dortmund.

At the King Power, Rodri is booked for a heavy challenge on Youri Tielemans. At Old Trafford, Newcastle are getting into the game, with Joe Willock unable to pick out a teammate with a cross from close range.

Jack Grealish goes close for Manchester City, firing wide after a fancy free-kick routine. At the Emirates, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang caps a flowing move with a shot that tests Tim Krul in the Norwich goal.

Also worth noting that, according to BBC Radio Five, the UK is one of only five countries where the Manchester United game can’t be broadcast live. The others are Cuba, North Korea, Turkmenistan and Afghanistan.

It sounds like there are big problems with US Premier League coverage, which is not ideal, given the occasion. Stick with the Clockwatch, it’ll never let you down*.

*It may let you down

More EFL goals! Iliman Ndiaye has fired Sheffield United ahead against Peterborough, Jordan Zemura has given Bournemouth the lead at home to Barnsley, and QPR lead at Reading through a Michael Morrison own goal.

In League One, Daniel Neil has put Sunderland 1-0 up against Accrington, while Lincoln lead Cambridge 2-0.

“One thing I want to know is: which match is Mike Dean refereeing after his self-spoofing, card-wielding appearance on Ted Lasso?” asks Mike Greville. It seems he is on VAR duty at the Emirates for Arsenal v Norwich.

I wasn’t aware of Deano’s cameo, Mike. I need to see it urgently.

Ronaldo, who starts as a centre-forward but is drifting wide, deep and all over the place. He fires an early shot into the side netting. In other decent striker news, Erling Haaland has fired Dortmund level at Leverkusen.

Plenty of early goals in League One: Lincoln, Cheltenham, Ipswich, Wimbledon and Plymouth are all on the board.

No goals yet at the Emirates, but T Henry is on the scoresheet. Venezia’s Thomas Henry, that is, who has put them ahead at Empoli.

At the King Power, chances for both sides early on. Schmeichel denies Gabriel Jesus with Bernardo Silva firing wide, before Jamie Vardy tees up Harvey Barnes, who draws a fine save from Ederson.

Five Bundesliga games kicked off at 2.30pm (BST). Here are the latest scores:

Leverkusen 1-0 Dortmund
Freiburg 0-1 Cologne
Greuther Fürth 0-1 Wolfsburg
Hoffenheim 0-1 Mainz
Union Berlin 0-0 Augsburg

That Super League protest business all feels a very long time ago, doesn’t it?

Here is Ed Aarons’ match report, filed from a still-shaking press box up in the gods at Selhurst Park:

The results are in: 77% of you think Ronaldo will be a hit at Manchester United.

“Why can’t Ole give Van de Beek a chance?” asks Freddy Davidson. “He can do more than Matic can – he can attack and defend, and is a very smart player overall. Donny needs a chance to prove himself and Newcastle would have been perfect for him to do it.” His complete lack of opportunities at Old Trafford remains a bit of a mystery.

“Regarding your point that you would choose Ronaldo to score in the last minute over Messi: my nephew Darcus tells me he sees Messi as the best footballer ever and Ronaldo as the best player,” writes Nathaniel Matthews, whose nephew knows his stuff.

Here’s roving reporter Simon McMahon with a look at events north of the border:

“Extremely excited to see United’s new No 7 make his long awaited debut this afternoon. Pure box office. Straight into the starting eleven too. Pace, technical ability, goals, he’s got the lot. Welcome to Scotland, Ilmari Niskanen. Dundee United’s new Finnish international makes his bow against St Mirren in Paisley.

Other Premiership 3pm fixtures include Celtic v Ross County, Dundee v Livingston, Motherwell v Aberdeen. The early game has just finished St Johnstone 1-2 Rangers.”

Crystal Palace lead Tottenham 2-0, with Wilfried Zaha’s penalty followed up by new boy Odsonne Édouard scoring seconds after coming off the bench. There’s a party atmosphere at Selhurst Park:

In the Women’s Super League, Aston Villa have earned a useful point at West Ham thanks to Remi Allen’s late leveller. Allen headed home Ramona Petzelberger’s cross in stoppage time to cancel out Adriana Leon’s eighth-minute opener for the hosts.

Some important pre-match reading here, from Max Rushden.

It’s all kicking off at Selhurst Park, where Japhet Tanganga has been sent off for Tottenham. It’s still 0-0 there, but Spurs’ run of wins and clean sheets is under threat. Join Scott Murray for the latest:

Will Ronaldo’s second stint at Manchester United lead to goals, trophies, adulation and a statue outside the ground? Or will he creak around like a petulant Tin Man, while arguing about penalties a lot?

It’s probably somewhere in the middle, but this is The Discourse. There is no middle ground. Vote now!

Mary Waltz asks the age-old question: “Ronaldo or Messi? I have always been on team Messi but I have never seen the need to rip into CR7 to justify my choice. The cold war tactics became tedious.”

Tedious is the word, Mary. Both are exceptional players, and I have a hard time believing fans of either genuinely believe the other player is not actually that good. We’ll have no talk of Penaldo or Pessi here today.

I am also Team Messi – I just think he’s better, that’s all – but if I had to pick one of them to score in the last minute for my team, I would probably choose Ronaldo.

Here are the thoughts of Ole Gunnar Solskjær on his eye-catching summer signing:

“We are still a work in progress. Cristiano coming, of course, that gives us another edge. He comes with his winning mentality – him and Raphaël [Varane] have won the Champions League, European Championships, World Cups. We are adding some experience and quality that we didn’t have.”