PITTSBURGH — Phil Bourque ruined a good story.
"That wasn't the real Stanley Cup," he said Tuesday.
This was after pictures surfaced Monday showing the Cup badly dented during the Tampa Bay Lightning's boat-parade celebration on the Hillsborough River.
"They used a fake shell for that because water was involved," Bourque said. "They couldn't take a chance of the real thing sinking to the bottom of the river. I can tell you from experience that it doesn't float."
Damn.
The NHL became more protective of the Cup in the mid-1990s. Before then, anything went with the prized chalice, as Bourque and his Penguins teammates learned when they won it in 1991 and 1992. Players, coaches and staffers of the winning team still get to celebrate individually with the real thing — but with supervision from one of the "Keepers of the Cup." Phil Pritchard, the main keeper, has become nearly as famous as Mario Lemieux in the hockey world.
"The Rangers screwed it up for all of us after they won in 1994," Bourque said, fairly giggling.
Legend has it that Rangers captain Mark Messier took the Cup to a New York strip club. I'm guessing that wasn't the first time for it. Eddie Olczyk took the Cup to Belmont Park where Kentucky Derby winner Go for Gin ate out of it. Their Rangers teammates generally beat the heck out of it.
"It doesn't take much to dent it," Bourque said. "There are dings all over it. The first year we won it, it was cracked. You could see guys cradling it like a baby during our celebration. There was a note attached to it, 'Cup is broken.' No one knows who broke it, but, trust me, it was broken."
The Penguins have been lucky enough and good enough to win the Cup five times, but their celebration after their first championship in 1991 is legendary. Bourque, a valued role player on the team and now a Penguins radio broadcaster, provided one of the highlights with his speech to the countless thousands who gathered at The Point to honor their champions, Pittsburgh's first championship team since the Pirates and Steelers in 1979. "What do you say we take this thing out on the river and party all summer?" Bourque screamed as the crowd roared.
That is a big part of Penguins' lore.
So is this story:
"We were at Mario's pool in Mt. Lebanon," Bourque said. "Tom Barrasso put the Cup on top of the waterfall where there were neon lights. I was in the hot tub thinking, 'Man, this celebration is pretty lame.' So I climbed up the waterfall like King Kong climbing up the Empire State Building. After I grabbed the Cup and held it above my head, everyone was yelling, 'Throw it in the pool! Throw it in the pool!' So I heaved it into the deep end.
"It sank like a rock. The chlorine in the pool turned the silver into a muddy color. I think [former general manager] Craig Patrick had to take the Cup to a silversmith to have the color restored."
It's safe to think the NHL office heard that story, hence the added precautions during the Lightning's river celebration.
It's also fair to think league officials saw what can happen when grown men celebrate like little boys on the water with alcohol involved.
Just five months before the Lightning's victory party — their second in two seasons — the Tampa Bay Buccaneers celebrated on the same river after their Super Bowl win over the Kansas City Chiefs. Champa Bay, indeed. The City of Champions, right? You might have seen video of an inebriated-on-avocado tequila Tom Brady throwing the Lombardi Trophy from one boat to another. Tight end Cameron Brate made what he called the best catch of his career to keep the trophy from hitting the water.
That led to fun back-and-forth this week between the Stanley Cup and Brady.
"FYI, I'm too heavy to throw, @TomBrady," the Cup tweeted.
Yes, the Cup has its own Twitter account.
Of course, it does.
"idk ... everything feels a bit lighter after some tequila," Brady responded on Twitter.
Bourque loved that story. He loved everything about the Lightning and Bucs celebrations. It brought back such wonderful memories for him. Memories that will last forever.
"There is nothing you'll ever do the rest of your life that comes even close to winning a championship," Bourque said. "When you win it, you got to live it. You think about all the sweat and work and stress and sacrifice you had to put in to win. That's the one time all year you can let everything out that's been bottled up inside you. You just let it fly."
And hope it doesn't end up at the bottom of the river.
