Pittsburgh sports fans needed a little comedic relief on a day Steelers presumptive slot cornerback Senquez Golson was carted off the field at Saint Vincent College with another injury.
The Pirates provided it.
I can't stop laughing.
Who saw this coming?
It seemed like just another routine trade deadline Monday for the Pirates even after word broke they had traded two players to be named for New York Yankees pitcher Ivan Nova. I yawned, although I have to admit I did the same thing last season when the Pirates traded for J.A. Happ. But I don't expect Nova, who comes with a mediocre record and an expiring contract, to have a Happ-like impact even though he will step right into their lousy rotation. He looks like a right-handed Jeff Locke to me. But so what? It's not like the Pirates gave up much to get him. I'm pretty sure the players to be named are not Austin Meadows and Josh Bell, although the way Pirates GM Neal Huntington freely gave away prospects later in the day, it's hard to say that with complete confidence.
So I went back to writing about Mike Tomlin and the Steelers for my column and planned to include a paragraph or two about the ill-fated Golson's mid-foot injury.
But then it happened.
The Pirates announced they traded Jon Niese back to the New York Mets for reliever Antonio Bastardo. That was hilarious enough. But then the Pirates _ who said after the Mark Melancon trade Saturday that they remained all in for competing for a playoff spot this season _ sent Francisco Liriano and well-regarded prospects Reese McGuire and Harold Ramirez to Toronto for pitcher Drew Hutchison, who has spent most of this season in the minors. They will tell you with a straight face that this wasn't strictly a salary dump, that they really like Hutchison, who did win 13 big-league games in 2015, albeit with a 5.57 earned run average.
I'm laughing so hard I hurt.
"We still believe we can be one of the teams to make the postseason," Huntington insisted at the end of the bizarre day.
That's the biggest joke of all.
The Pirates are going to contend for the postseason with a rotation of Gerrit Cole, Jameson Taillon, Nova and fill-in-the-two-blanks?
Does Huntington really believe we're that stupid?
It's a good thing Huntington doesn't mind criticism. He knows it comes with the territory and, like all good general managers in all sports, shrugs it off. He shouldn't give a darn about what the fans and media think. Seriously. We don't matter. Huntington has to do what he thinks his right for his team. He's the one who will be fired if his decisions don't work.
But with these trades, it's almost as if Huntington was begging to be ridiculed.
He succeeded in a big way.
It's not so much the Liriano trade, which makes sense in about 17 million ways even if the inclusion of two top prospects makes it mind-numbing. The Pirates might be better off without him. He is the team's highest-paid player and, along with Andrew McCutchen, a chief reason it is 52-51 and out of the playoff picture going into Tuesday's game in Atlanta.
But, despite what Huntington said, the Pirates can't believe they still are a serious playoff contender. They knew Liriano and McCutchen had to turn their seasons around for the club to have any shot a wild card, but they ran out of patience with Liriano. That was easy to do with the small fortune they saved by moving him. They wanted to get rid of the prorated portion of his $13 million salary this season and all $13 million next season so badly that they included McGuire and Ramirez in the trade. The Blue Jays agreed to the deal because they believe Liriano will find his game when reunited with his old catcher, Russell Martin.
"This gives us financial flexibility," Huntington said.
Of course, Huntington followed that up by promising to put the savings from his trades the past few days _ estimated at $13.5 million by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette's Bill Brink _ back into the team in the offseason, right?
Well, no, not exactly.
What?
You aren't surprised?
Although the Liriano trade had the most significance, the topper for laughs was the Niese-for-Bastardo deal, although I'm guessing you find it more sad than funny.
In the offseason, the Pirates traded Neil Walker to the Mets for Niese because they didn't think Walker was worth $10.55 million this season and had no plans to re-sign him as a free agent after the season. That crushed many of the team's fans who adored Walker, in no small part, because he was a Pittsburgh kid. Then Monday, the Pirates sent Niese back to the Mets for Bastardo, who pitched here last season and could have been resigned as a free agent over the winter if the team had really liked him.
Am I the only one who sees the humor there?
I asked Huntington about it, but he didn't laugh.
"We don't have the benefit to second-guess. We have to first-guess. It didn't work out the way we planned. But, quite candidly, the players we could have gotten for Neil in the offseason, no one would have been thrilled by them, either. It was a bad situation."
That's supposed to make you feel better?
I'm thinking not much else could make you feel worse.
Well, there is one thing.
News that Meadows and Bell are the players to be named in the Nova trade.
