Capital Breakfast host Roman Kemp has opened up about his ongoing struggle with his mental health.
Despite his cheerful chat on the radio every morning, which makes millions of people smile, the 29 year old has battled with depression for 15 years.
He believes that being open and talking about mental health "saved his life", and says that chatting to his pal Ed Sheeran helped him navigate through "the darkest of times".
The Mirror reports that Roman once came close to ending his own life but admits he was completely shocked when his best friend and Capital Radio producer, Joe Lyons, committed suicide last year.
For support, he turned to 80s pop icon parents Martin and Shirley Kemp, as well as his singer friend Ed.
They became firm friends after meeting on the music scene and later shared a hug in an advert for Capital Radio, with Roman donning a bear costume.
The singer even drew a tattoo for Roman, which he has on his leg. Ed also offered some valuable advice for when he was really struggling with his mental health.
Speaking during Mental Health Week, Roman said: "Ed told me there’s dirty water at the top and the more you let it flow it turns into clear water.
"Each time I speak about how I feel, the water gets clearer."
The I'm A Celeb finalist says he repeats this phrase over and over to himself whenever times are tough. Now, he's written a book about the importance of talking whilst trying to stay well.
In Are You Really Ok? Roman lifts the lid on how he was diagnosed with chemical depression when he was 15, his plans to take his own life before he entered the jungle in 2019 and his shock when Joe killed himself.
He didn't know that his friend was struggling, and it still makes him angry to think about it.
Roman, who was on air when he found out that Joe had died, said: "I’m still processing his death. Every day I step foot back in the Capital studios, I’m back in the worst situation I have ever lived in my life. I have flashbacks all the time."
He added: "Per one suicide, 140 people are affected. Joe’s affected a lot of people. I’m sure he’ll be proud of what we’re doing but I still f***ing hate him for it. He was the furthest thing from a suicidal person.
"Some people don’t wear a mask, others do. The majority put a mask on and we don’t have a clue what’s going on."
Roman's new book is dedicated to Joe and mum Shirley, of Wham! and Pepsi and Shirley fame.
His decision to open up about Joe's death was inspired by his mother at the 2017 Brit awards, where she spoke about Wham! frontman George Michael, who passed away in 2016.
"I’ve never felt prouder of my mum, getting up on stage and talking to millions of people about her mate," said Roman.
"When I had to talk about the loss of my best mate, Joe, I remembered Mum doing that and it gave me courage."
Roman also credits Shirley with saving him, as she phoned him just as he was thinking about ways to take his own life.
But he admitted: "My parents never knew my mental health was that serious. I didn’t want to tell them."
Shirley and husband Martin, of Spandau Ballet and EastEnders fame, only realised how bad their son's mental health was after he made BBC3 documentary Our Silent Emergency last year about the mental health and suicide crisis among young men.
But Roman said: "I feel like I’ve won the lottery to have them as parents. We’re a support network. We speak every day. I call my dad if something nice happens, I call Mum if something bad happens.
"I'm fortunate enough to know it’s good to talk. There are so many guys that aren’t."
Roman is likely to be on medication for the rest of his life. He added: "I’m in a good place but it’s up and down. It’s not something you can cure. You understand it – your triggers – then you learn how to deal with it. For me, talking massively helps."
It's also reported he will bring out a new documentary on the BBC next year about mental health, and wants to raise the issue in schools too.
He said: "Schoolchildren are taking their own lives. We need to start with kids from the age of five. Talking about depression needs to be normalised."
The DJ is single after he split with neuroscientist Anne-Sophie Flury two years ago.
But he says his close bond with his mum, dad and sister Harley, 33, has made him want to be a father someday.
"I want to create my own family. I can’t wait to see Mum with my son or daughter. I just need to find someone first."
Roman Kemp: Are You Really OK? is published by Mirror Books and on sale October 27.
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