Price: £367,632
Top speed: 149mph
0-60mph: 5.6 seconds
MPG: 19.2
It’s a dark and blustery Saturday evening in Whitstable and they’ve shut the pretty high street to turn on the Christmas lights. The problem is I’m on the wrong side of the closure. I decide to chance my luck and nudge the big Rolls-Royce I am driving up to the barricade. A steward appears at my window, but before I utter a single word he rushes to the barrier and raises it, and then ushers me through with a “Sorry to keep you, sir!” I smile awkwardly and give him a weird little salute. Silently I purr up the car-free street. The pavements are filled with expectant shoppers, muffled against the cold, and as I pass they wave and gawp. You could get used to this.
Spending the weekend with a Roller is to be on the end of a wave of endless goodwill. I thought people would be lining up to call me a twat, but it was the exact opposite. It was all awed whispers. When ever I stopped, people came up to me muttering: “Nice car, mate” and “Beautiful” and “Wow! What a whopper.” Other drivers tooted, bus drivers waved, someone even fist pumped the air.
I learned a few unexpected things about Rollers and Britons. First, we really do love a posh car. Secondly, the cap-doffing spirit of empire seems to be alive and well. Thirdly, Rolls-Royces are fitted with a social force field that means you can cruise anywhere in a state of perfect equanimity – everyone always lets you go first.
I needn’t have worried about pranging the car as everyone gave me such a wide berth. Of all the many extras that come with the Roller, it’s this unbelievable sense of entitlement that’s most intoxicating. Rules are not for you. You’re too big to fit into those silly little parking bays anyway. After 72 hours of this I was almost relieved to give the car back. It was going to my head.
All this comes at a colossal price: £367,632. Can you justify that? Er… no. The average price of a new car in Britain is £28,973 – how can any car be worth 12 times that? But, and this is a gargantuan but, the Phantom Drophead Coupé is simply stunning. Fully loaded it weighs nearly 3 tonnes. It has a 6.75-litre, 435bhp V12 six-speed engine which you control with a lazy finger on its thin-rimmed steering wheel. Within moments you get used to the car’s scale, but you never get used to its astonishing sense of lightness. It’s a giant lump of incredible mass yet it seems to float on air. Maybe “Phantom” isn’t such an odd name after all.
It’s as easy to drive as a Mini. It shares a chassis and underpinnings with its saloon sister, but this is a far less formal car. The panels are sculpted, the lines flow and when you drop the head, four of you sit there as if in a yacht. The rear-facing suicide doors also add to the drama and sense of uniqueness.
You can’t rush a Roller. Everything from the self-levelling air suspension to the rotating dashboard display is damped. Turn on the satnav and its control silently appears at your elbow. Open the fabric roof and it solemnly folds itself into a hidden extra boot in 25 seconds. In theory you could hit 60mph in 5.7 seconds and then head on up to 149mph. But everything about this surprisingly restrained car wants you to slow down, relax and enjoy the show – well, the festive lights anyway.
Email Martin at martin.love@observer.co.uk or follow him on Twitter at @MartinLove166
