Upset ... Tom Chaplin of Keane. Photograph: Yui Mok/PA
Since when have rock stars become so sensitive? Priory season-ticket holder and Keane frontman Tom Chaplin has complained that bitchy comments made by Kasabian members that he was "posh", "addicted to port" and lived off "pies and Quavers", were "very hurtful". "We're all from the same school and have the same dream," claimed the damp-eyed salad dodger. This is woeful stuff from Chaplin and everyone would have a lot more respect for him if he dished some dirt back at Kasabian whose music, after all, practically demands it. After reading Chaplin's comments you have to conclude that Alan McGee was right about the corrosive influence of the bed-wetting tendency in indie rock.
You half expect Chaplin to write a stiffly worded complaint letter to Kasabian's management. It wasn't always like this. When Lennon got mad at McCartney for perceived slights to the John and Yoko axis on Too Many People, How Do You Sleep? came back like an Exocet missile aimed at Paul's heart. And when Fred Durst got the confusing advice from Trent Reznor that he could "surf a piece of plywood up my ass" Durst hit back with a foul-mouthed attack on Hot Dog that was, well, rubbish but at least tried to hit where it hurts. And after Dave Grohl had had his fill of Courtney Love's rambling internet disses, I'll Stick Around with its "I don't owe you anything" refrain was uncompromising and stark.
The likes of Keane need to buck up and be prepared to come out swinging when someone backs them into a corner. I'm not suggesting we go down the road of The Brian Jonestown Massacre with drug-fuelled onstage fights, but there's got to be a more honourable and less drippy way of settling disputes between rock stars than running to tell the Daily Mirror that your feelings have been hurt. The bar chord is mightier than the sword in music and writing a diss track is the only way for Chaplin to achieve catharsis and get closure on this deeply traumatic event. But if he starts all that stuff about coming from the same school and having the same dream again, then frankly I lose all hope.
