Chemical brother ... Calvin Harris
It's been a good week for getting your bosh on, havin' it large and generally being a right proper cheesy quaver. Parties, you see, is what the last seven days in blog world has all been about, and if people don't stop cutting some rug and imbibing chemicals then the future will belong to Tracey from Big Brother. Ok?
Let's start with Calvin Harris who's been causing a bit of a stir thanks to his marketing of new single Merrymaking At My Place. His idea was simple enough: encourage all his fans to host their own house parties on Aug 18, therefore setting some kind of record for the most simultaneous house parties going on in the UK. Or something. Anyway, this was deemed "irresponsible" by the BBC (who called him a "hate figure for parents") and GMTV, who wanted him to come on their show and explain himself. Anyway, Harris soon updated his MySpace headline to "A hate figure for parents" and sent out a bulletin to his fans explaining how he was asked to speak about "how to party responsibly".
Amazing. Last night, he posted this very thing on his MySpace page with a video blog and mighty funny it is too...
"I made the mistake once of inviting someone I didn't know to my house party and he ended up killing all of the house mates. Slaying them, in a most unsavoury manner."
All this and more top tips are included, guaranteed to stop your house ending up like this.
Talking of which, the Skins crew got indie math-popsters Foals to play their party last week, a "gig" which will appear on the special MySpace edition of Skins. Fans of the show who went along have been going beserk in the blogosphere...
"Watched some half naked woman muck around with a giant hola hoop. Watched a half naked woman make sparks from an angle grinder on her crotch!"
Hmm, back in my day it was all Top Trumps and pin the tail on the donkey. What else was happening at this yoof shindig?
"The producer guy asked us to kiss whilst we were lying on the cushiony chill out area, but I kinda blew it"
The squalor! The squalor! Just one question - just how did the TV crew get a bunch of teenagers to rave like maniacs at 3pm in the afternoon?
"There was free alcohol so everyone could get fucked."
Oh, I see. It's also nice to note that you can download the video for the brain-meltingly brilliant Foals track Hummer on the Skins MySpace page (well, providing you sign up to the community).
Finally, how do you know when you've really made it in the world of showbiz? When you can't leave the house without your hoodie and Ray-Bans? When people stop cashing your cheques because the signature's worth more? Or maybe when that sudden urge arrives, telling you to squander your entire savings on a trout farm?
I'd like to think it's when news of your recently dropped sprog is enough to land yourself a mention on my favourite new blog, Celebrity Baby Scoop.
So well done Jack White and Karen Elson whose brand new baby Dwight has proved that they're officially A-list. And yes, I know he's called Henry Lee but you can still dream, right?
