RIP: Skywhale The Flying Titty Balloon Developed A Tear In Her Breast Before Lift-Off

In truly devastating news for fans of both breasts and hot air balloons, the iconique Skywhale developed a tear in one of her 10 titties while visiting Ballarat over the weekend. Pour one out for Australia’s favourite whale with the big bazongas. Skywhale’s partner, Skywhalepapa, was not harmed but sadly the duo had to be deflated before lift-off due to the hole in her hooter.

FORENSIC EXAMINER: The wounds in Skywhale appear to have been made by a… medieval mace-and-chain and a 19th century musket ball?

DETECTIVES: [turn to Kryal Castle and Sovereign Hill who are leaning against the wall whistling innocently] — Patrick Stokes (@patstokes) July 10, 2022

ABCEvery Heart Sings projectPatricia Piccinini

“A whole team gathers around her, watching as this magnificent creature succumbs to her wounds. We watch solemnly as the Skywhale breathes her last” pic.twitter.com/vGehhbbegZ

— Jonmokoko (@jonmokoko) July 11, 2022

Melbourne needs to go to War with Ballarat to recover Skywhale’s remains and give her a dignified burial

— Lex would buy a lighthouse please (@LexPlans) July 9, 2022

Ke$ha

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