Of the many bizarre things about Rihanna’s latest video-de-force, Bitch Better Have My Money,the strangest might actually be the inspiration behind the song itself. Sure, there’s a nude, blood-soaked Rihanna lying in a chest of dollar bills, triumphantly smoking a blunt. And a toy dog propping up a comatose and otherwise seemingly innocent woman. Yet none of these shock-and-awe moments compare to the revelation that RiRi has apparently written a diss track about her accountant.
As the story goes, back in 2012, the singer pursued legal action against her former bookkeeper, Peter Gounis of Berdon LLP, for alleged dire and damning financial advice during 2009 (which reportedly included encouraging the star to buy a Beverly Hills mansion that she couldn’t afford). Gounis’s apparent poor judgment cost Rihanna $9m, which almost bankrupted her altogether.
Finally last year, Rihanna settled the long, drawn-out case against Gounis out of court for a sum thought to be $10m, pocketing a handy $1m profit in the process. In some ways then, Bitch Better Have My Money can be seen as the most direct (and very meta) way of hurrying up repayment instalments. In the history of public feuding via verse, a list stretching from Biggie and Tupac to Mark Kozelek vs everyone, it has to be considered among the most unique, with Rihanna quite literally sticking it to the man through a thinly veiled threat-cum-pop hit.
What next, James Bay writing a passive-aggressive song about his overpriced landscaper? We can only hope so. But until then, here’s five other bizarre yet brilliant diss tracks.
Chic – Le Freak
From its cheery posturings and now-ubiquitous daytime radio status, it’s hard to imagine that Chic’s Le Freak began its life as a track about being refused entry into an iconic club. Years after its release, Nile Rodgers revealed how his most famous hit (no, not Get Lucky) was inspired by a boorish bouncer at New York’s iconic Studio 54.
“On New Year’s Eve 1977, we were invited to meet with Grace Jones at Studio 54,” he explained. “But she didn’t leave our name at the door, and the doorman wouldn’t let us in.” Rather than an ill-advised scuffle, Rodgers and bandmate Bernard Edwards decided instead to “grab a couple of bottles of champagne from the corner liquor store” and head back to their flat. “Since we were feeling bad, we played music to make us feel good … and we started singing, ‘Aaaaahh, fuck off!’”
The results were a diss track in its purest form, with Rodgers stating that he wanted the song to become “the anthem of everybody who gets cut off on the street by a cab driver or any kids who want to say this to their parents”. But it was when the pair changed the words to the markedly more radio-friendly “freak out” that they finally got their revenge on the elitists, cementing their place in the charts and on future guest lists.
Lil B - Fuck KD
Rapper, tweeter, motivational speaker – Lil B is less known for his music as he is for being an all-round online personality. The music Lil B does produce, however, largely falls into two categories: romantic odes aimed at celebrities (Katy Perry among the targets of his PDA) and his diss tracks. Perhaps his most famed feud involved basketball player Kevin Durant, the inspiration behind Fuck KD, which featured such inspired basketball-themed rhymes as: “Still on the court and I’m still holding court.” What started with Durant tweeting, “Can’t believe this guy is relevant” led to nigh on four years of mostly one-way traffic, with the rapper baiting Durant at every opportunity, including sporting curses and paid commercials during NBA games, and mostly without reply.
Frankee - F U Right Back
Most diss tracks are motivated by money and publicity, but 2004’s back-and-forth between Eamon and so-called ex-girlfriend Frankee took petty bickering to the next level. Within a month of the “ho-wopper” (yes, that really was his self-attributed genre of choice) ruling the radio waves on both sides of the Atlantic with Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back), a relatively unknown singer called Frankee responded with the similarly foul-mouthed F U Right Back. So far, a pretty standard exchange. But what was so unusual about the latter track was that the pair had never actually met, and that the doomed romance was all an industry-led deceit.
Despite Frankee’s well-rehearsed PR routine (“Sometimes we met at the park, and once or twice he came to my house,” she told suspicious reporters of their reputed relationship), her alleged love interest quickly let the facade slip. “Frankee is definitely not my girlfriend or ex-girlfriend. I never met her in my life,” Eamon revealed. “The only way I was associated with her song was when I was asked for licensing permission by Frankee’s representatives,” he added. “I never knew she was going to say she was my ex-girlfriend. Even my aunt called me and said, ‘Is this really your ex-girlfriend?’ It’s all good, though. Every time it gets played, I get paid.” True entrepreneurial spirit, wouldn’t you agree?
Taking Back Sunday – There’s No I in Team
If Livejournal whispers were ever to be believed, the beef between Long Island bands Taking Back Sunday and Brand New began when the former band’s guitarist John Nolan was caught in a compromising position with the then girlfriend of Brand New frontman – and Nolan’s former best friend – Jesse Lacey. Sure enough, it was the recipe for prime emo drama, with factions of each group’s fans taking their respective sides.
Matters came to a head when Lacey penned heartache anthem Seventy Times Seven, urging Nolan within the song’s lyrics to drink-drive and “think of me when you forget your seatbelt, and again when your head goes through the windshield”. Taking Back Sunday hit back a year later with There’s No I in Team, which, on the surface, seems like a pretty standard diss track: parodying lyrics from the original and coming out in Nolan’s favour, portraying Lacey as a liquored-up crybaby bedwetter.
What is strange about it, however, is the fact that Nolan isn’t actually the one doing the singing, leaving his dirty work instead to Adam Lazzara. It’s sort of like sending a friend who has better vocal talents to a truce agreement on your behalf, or perhaps like getting a barbershop quartet to dump your boyfriend for you.
Kendrick Lamar - Control
In his guest spot on Big Sean’s Control in 2013, Kendrick Lamar changed the diss track game altogether, reversing a culture of increasing passivity and tame yes-manship, and in doing so, bringing back a policy of naming names and taking no prisoners. Over the course of a few bars, the MC blasts virtually all of his big-name peers – Drake, J Cole, Pusha T, Meek Mill, A$AP Rocky, Tyler the Creator and Wale included – in the most scattergun approach ever.
But this wasn’t the strangest thing about it. Lamar not only stole the entire show from Big Sean, but also included shots at both the rapper himself and his fellow guest star, Jay Electronica. Just imagine the uncomfortable feeling in the studio as K-Dot proclaims himself the “King of New York” before reeling off lines like: “Big Sean, Jay Electron’ … I got love for you all but I’m tryna murder you.” The atmosphere in the studio must have been like when they make contestants vote in front of each other on Big Brother. But, of course, way more satisfying.
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