He may have been dead for two and a half years, but this week Osama bin Laden achieved the unspeakably evil endpoint of his diabolical lifelong masterplan: he got an airport security team to confiscate a little jar of honey from Richard Dawkins. Distraught, the evolutionary biologist and world-famous atheist tweeted:
Bin Laden has won, in airports of the world every day. I had a little jar of honey, now thrown away by rule-bound dundridges. STUPID waste.
— Richard Dawkins (@RichardDawkins) November 3, 2013
Dawkins losing a minuscule amount of honey because he doesn't understand how rules work is clearly the worst thing that has ever happened to a famous person at the hands of airport security. But it's by no means the first of Osama bin Laden's victories over celebrity baggage. Here are five more:
Justin Bieber's monkey
In March this year, German authorities detained Justin Bieber's capuchin monkey Mally for travelling without the necessary paperwork. Mally is now the property of the German government, and has started a new life at the Serengeti Park, near Hanover. Which is exactly what the terrorists wanted.
Krystian Zimerman's piano
Shortly after 9/11, security officers at JFK airport confiscated and destroyed world-renowned pianist Krystian Zimerman's piano because the glue keeping it together "smelled funny". They were probably just worried it was actually honey.
Rush Limbaugh's Viagra
In 2006, customs officials confiscated a bottle of Viagra from the conservative US talkshow host because his name wasn't on the prescription.
Yuzuko Horigome's violin
The violinist had her million-dollar Guarnerius violin snatched by customs officers last year, after accidentally taking it through the Nothing To Declare gate.
Sharon Osbourne's medication
Osbourne found herself in trouble in June when she tried to take an improperly packed bag through customs. According to the Mirror, she lost her temper, told the authorities to keep it, and then sent an assistant five minutes later to ask for the bag back, only to be told it had been destroyed. She and Dawkins should set up a support group.
