
Imagine having the whale-decapitating, bear corpse planting, literally worm-brained Robert F. Kennedy Jr for a dad. Trump’s Secretary of Health looks and sounds like a disease elemental and appears to be on a one-man crusade to re-establish measles as a leading cause of death for American children.
But let nobody accuse him of not putting his money where his mouth is when it comes to exposing kids to disease. Kennedy spent Mother’s Day taking his kids and grandkids on a hike at Dumbarton Oaks Park near Georgetown, Washington, presumably hoping to have a pleasant day spent in nature. But with Kennedy, pestilence is never far away and he led his family straight into the filthy, bacteria-infested, and highly dangerous Rock Creek:
Mother’s Day hike in Dumbarton Oaks Park with Amaryllis, Bobby, Kick, and Jackson, and a swim with my grandchildren, Bobcat and Cassius in Rock Creek. pic.twitter.com/TXowaSMTFY
— Robert F. Kennedy Jr (@RobertKennedyJr) May 11, 2025
As was quickly pointed out by comments (and in a community note), swimming or bathing in Rock Creek is explicitly forbidden by the National Park Service as it’s brimming with human sewage, urban runoff, and pet waste, and as such contains “high levels of bacteria”. And we don’t just mean regular high, we mean newsworthy high. In a 2021 piece for the Washington Post, environmental consultant Marchant Wentworth laid out the extent of the pollution:
“For example, on July 14, 2015, the DC Department of Energy and the Environment found bacteria levels over 2,420 times the most probable number of colonies in 100 milliliters (MPN). This is far in excess of the Environmental Protection Agency standard of 410 MPN. On that same day, no rain was detected in any of three rain gauges around the city. Similarly, on Aug. 27, 2016, at the water sampling site maintained by the U.S. Geological Survey, the bacteria level was measured at an astoundingly dangerous 40,000 MPN. No rain was reported either that day or the day before.”
“Catastrophic diarrhea”
The primary danger is those “astounding” levels of E. coli bacteria, which commonly causes catastrophic diarrhea (sometimes bloody!), vomiting, abdominal cramps, and fever. That’s serious enough, but E. coli exposure can result in life-threatening conditions like peritonitis, sepsis, and pneumonia. Disturbingly, young children are most severely affected, so maybe the Kennedy clan should visit a doctor as soon as possible.
What makes matters worse is that Rock Creek is surrounded by signs spelling out these dangers, explicitly warning anyone visiting the area that entering or even touching the Rock Creek waters can result in serious illness. But Kennedy – who has previously been skeptical of the existence of germs – appeared not to care about his or his children’s welfare.
Cards on the table here, while Kennedy has put his kids and grandkids in harm’s way, he’ll most likely be fine. It’s the bacteria and germs in Rock Creek I’m worried about, which now have to compete with whatever cadaverous slime sloughed off Kennedy’s hide when he entered the water. At this point, the National Parks Service should update the warning signs to add an additional notice: “Warning: RFK Jr once bathed in this creek. Toxic materials likely remain”.