To the abundance of American high school teens who almost certainly will not read this post, if you really want to make an entrance at your long-awaited prom, here’s what you need to do: for $28,000 (£18,447) you can be the envy of the whole school with a shark-toothed, green-haired pseudo-rapper adorning your arm.
Yes, that is right. If you are over the age of 18, Texan rapper Riff Raff will be your date to the prom, and promises also to provide social media promotion for said date in the run-up to the event. Not to mention a highly debatable offer of a night spent in a penthouse suite. Add to that a spin on a motorbike and a stop off at the local crack dealer en route and you’ve got yourself every dad’s nightmare.
Here’s what else can be yours for this hefty sum:
Given the large MTV logo tattooed across his neck, it’s likely this prom-based proposal was inspired the channel’s brat-fest My Super Sweet 16, a show which showcases spoilt teens and the stupidity of rich, scared parents who splash out on sports cars and celebrity appearances for tacky neon-lit parties which almost always end in tears.
Perhaps it’s a wise move for Riff Raff, whose 2014 album shifted 11,524 copies in the US in its first week. In an age where free streaming services are surging and physical sales declining, there’s always room for musicians to pick up a new, lucrative sideline. And as crowdfunding sites such as Kickstarter continue to raise the bar for personal gifts to those who pledge – a haircut with the Hold Steady here, a game of strip poker with Daniel Bedingfield there – the distance between budding fan and broke musician is growing ever narrower.
Of course, the rap industry’s relationships with teen parties is nothing new. Kanye and Jay-Z reportedly performed at a sweet 16 in Dubai in 2011, netting an alleged $3m each, while the former also made headlines last year when he was said to have been invited to perform at a bar mitzvah. However, his asking price of $1m dollars was refused by the family – who, it was reported, hired Drake instead (he allegedly charged $250,000). If that amount still seems pretty steep, there are plenty of speculative prices to peruse ahead of any forthcoming parties here, too.
In 2005, prompted by the popularity of the My Super Sweet 16 show, the New York Times reported the rise of high-profile artists appearing at parties – noting that the objective was “that everyone finds out”. This is still the case, and perhaps even more so in the age of social media superiority. With his 876k followers on Instagram, the hipster icon and Spring Breakers muse has power beyond his reputation as a surrealist rapper. Perhaps the lucky buyer will be so preoccupied promoting their friendship via selfies that they might not make it to the penthouse after all.
So good for Riff Raff. After all, how else will he retain the $21,000 upkeep of his diamond shark grills?
