Pending cabinet and United Nations approval, leaders in the Czech Republic – which, in case you are unfamiliar with it, is a small central European country – have chosen Czechia as a shorter alternative name that might better fit on a variety of products, including sports merchandise, and have already reportedly invested $40m in a new tourism campaign built around the name.
Here are some other countries that could do with a rebranding of their own.
Pepsi Presents the Hellenic Republic
Greece could turn its financial problems around fairly quickly if the government embraced modernity and managed to convince an established corporate giant to grant them a sponsorship.
Niceland
It has long been a source of confusion to some that Iceland sports some of the most verdant terrain on Earth while Greenland is almost entirely covered in ice, but at this point it’s probably too late to ask them to switch. Instead, how about simply adding a single letter to Iceland and changing its whole brand at a stroke.
Aotearoa
New Zealand needs to come to grips with the fact that it’s not that new any more, and that the province of the Netherlands that the word “new” is distinguishing it from spells its name Zeeland anyway. The Maori name for the country is Aotearoa, so how about defying the colonialist attitude that resulted in the place being called anything else in the first place and switching back to that? As an added bonus, Aotearoa sounds a little like the name of an elf maiden in Lord of the Rings, which is what comes to mind when most foreigners think of New Zealand anyway.
Regular Korea
The people of South Korea could differentiate themselves a little bit, as well as jab at their nutty neighbors to the north, by taking this lovable moniker.
¡Cuba!
The name Cuba brings to mind decades of political repression, poverty, and tense relations with the United States, but switch over to ¡Cuba! and suddenly the island nation seems like a fun, sexy spot to unwind, dance the night away and maybe even fall in love.
Republic of Pacino
If the Republic of Slovenia changed its name to the Republic of Pacino, it might persuade Academy Award winning legend of stage and screen Al Pacino to move there, which would be a real get for the tiny central European nation.
Wienerville
In recent years the United States of America has given the world the potential of a Trump or Cruz presidency, endless war in the Middle East, and seven Fast and the Furious movies, exhibiting a mixture of dopey naiveté, obliviousness and occasional malice.
What America needs to do is offer a conciliatory gesture to the rest of the world, and what better way than rebranding as something embarrassing, like maybe Weinerville? Sure it’s embarrassing and somewhat stupid, but so is Ted Cruz, and if the experiment works and Wienerville mellows out a little they can always change it back in a century or so.
