Celebrity who...? The contestants on Comic Relief Does Fame Academy. Photograph: BBC
The things we do for charity - sit in a bathtub of baked beans, run the marathon in an antique diving suit; cash in our minor celebrity status and appear in a two-week long televised karaoke competition. Personally I'd rather choose the first two than growl my way through a rendition of Material Girl before a live studio audience. So let me take this opportunity to salute this year's contestants of Celebrity Fame Academy, which starts tomorrow on BBC One.
("We're calling it Comic Relief Does Fame Academy," corrected the press officer.) Whatever? You know the drill - 13 contestants of varying musical capabilities battle it out for charitable causes while shacking up in dorms at a temporary music school. What they lack in vocal talent this year I am sad to inform you they do not make up for in notoriety. (Clue: the most famous contestant is former Eastender turned Extra Shaun Williamson.)
This year we have Angellica Bell (nope), Fred MacAulay (scratches head), Tricia Penrose ('fraid not), Miranda Hart (stares into space), Ray Stubbs (I can't quite picture his face) and Zoe Salmon (shrug). But it's raising money for worthy causes so it would be churlish to criticise at such an early stage. So hooray then for Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, Linda Robson, Mel Giedroyc, Rowland Rivron, and Tim Vine (the latter last seen doing sterling work in Richmond's rendition of Jack and the Beanstalk.) I've forgotten DJ Colin Murray, but this is easily done.
Don't worry, it's going to get glitzier - apparently Williamson will be drafting in the support of Extras' co-star and bone-fide celeb Ricky Gervais at some point during the show - which seems slightly unfair.
Will Robson be permitted to call on the musical might of her Birds of a Feather co-star Pauline Quirke as back up? I certainly hope so - Pauline it's been far too long! Producers better ship in the Quirke double quick as I can't see Robson lasting particularly long - I've always thought, personality wise, that she's the rightful heir to Pauline Fowler's launderette tabard. Tonally her voice has a Henry's Cat quality and I would imagine that if she is to survive the early rounds her delivery of contemporary pop classics might have to aim more towards Rex Harrison's direction than Debbie Harry.
So - should you recognise anyone in the line up - who do you want to win? What would you like them to sing? Or are you hibernating until the Apprentice? Oh go on, remember, it's for charity.
