Swearing
Benefits Street, Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole and Benefits Brits By The Sea all benefitted not only from having the word Benefits in their title, stressing how beneficial it is to be poor in the UK but also from the contemptibly coarse language with which their subjects often expressed themselves in moments of inexplicable ill temper. Stop their benefits! Contrast this with Life Is Toff and the aristocratic brood of Ukipper and estate head Francis Fulford. He and his family could barely go a sentence without using the F-word. This, however, showed they were earthy sorts just like us. Facking beats fooking any day.
Winners: The posh
Role reversal
In Famous, Rich And Hungry, the likes of Theo Paphitis found out what it is like to be poor in the UK, while a particularly pleasing episode of Inside Tatler saw the magazine investigate the Poundland experience. Unjustly described as Poverty Safari, these episodes showed the capacity for broadminded handwringing on the part of the wealthy. Naturally, this social exercise could not be extended to the poor. Imagine Benefit Street’s Fungi being allowed to experience the life of the Mayfair set for a fortnight before being returned to his customary lot. The poor must, on no account, experience what it is like to be rich.
Winners: The posh
Merchandising
Entrepreneurs have tried to monetise poverty porn. On eBay, T-shirts with the James Turner Street sign and the slogan “No Income Tax, No VAT” are for sale, while Benefits Street mugs are also available. The Gloucester-based retailer who produced the mugs, however, confessed to the Birmingham Mail he’d made only one sale. Contrast with Made In Chelsea: an official calendar, a Keep Calm And Love Made In Chelsea coaster, as well as Made In Chelsea shower crème are among the many products doing booming business on Amazon. The market has spoken: being gormlessly rich is great, being ruefully poor is rubbish.
Winners: The posh
Quirky soundtrack
Benefits Britain: Life On The Dole naturally resorts to a chirpy, upbeat soundtrack, replete with brisk, plucked cellos as it follows a young couple’s struggle to make it the benefits office on time with their baby as if it were an episode of The Apprentice. Equally appropriately, in Young, Rich And House Hunting, the soundtrack is in a rockin’ Britpop vein to represent the go-ahead aspirations of its affluent charges – as opposed to some death metal accompaniment to a fantasy of them being lined up against the wall and strafed with machine-gun fire.
Winners: A draw
Final result: Winners: The posh
Hurrah, it’s an absolute landslide! Take note: RP, dogs in handbags, and Coutts bank accounts are in; fish and chips and dole queues are out.
