The most relatable, most authentic family moment on British screens of late was a mistake. Writers and directors can only dream of producing something as endearing as the interview of political analyst Robert Kelly with the BBC about South Korea. It was a wonderful mess, Kelly and his wife Jung-a Kim doing their best to maintain a work-life balance in the midst of the chaos of family life – revealed by the circus-style gatecrashing of Kelly’s office, mid-broadcast. Jung-a Kim was crowned an everyday heroine, their lollipop-wielding daughter became a fashion icon and Kelly, who was asked in a surreal press conference how he felt about being the poster child for working fathers, was all of us.
Meme mileage aside, the Kellys were celebrated because their home life rang so true – it was a tonic, the perfectly imperfect contemporary family in a nutshell. Elsewhere, representations of domestic reality aren’t always so accurate, with over-idealised and outdated portrayals missing the mark, lacking diversity and perpetuating archaic stereotypes. In a July survey from McCain, conducted by OnePoll, 34% feel television misrepresents the modern family, 43% feel the portrayal of family life in popular culture is unattainable, and nearly half – 45% – would like to see a more accurate portrayal in popular culture of what family life is really like.
Channel 4’s Gogglebox is perhaps one of the best indicators of the reality. The most-watched show in the Friday 9pm slot, it presents an admirable spread across demographics, ages, races and sexual inclinations all in one big, barmy British stew, and all overshadowed by opinions and eccentricities. Scripted television, meanwhile, doesn’t boast such an impressive spread, although some recent highlights are encouraging. Della Garry, single parent of six kids in Caitlin Moran’s Channel 4 show Raised by Wolves, was the mother of all mothers, while our flagship soaps have been featuring single mums for some time. EastEnders’ recent additions the Taylors were instantly criticised on the show’s Facebook page – “Why does a single mum have to be portrayed as chavvy scum sick with awful names and a bloody staffy!”, wrote one fan. But viewers have warmed to matriarch Karen, who producers have described as a “lioness, bringing up her kids with no support”, and she certainly gets points for nicking Arthur Fowler’s memorial bench.
Still, single parents have often had a bum rap in Britain’s popular culture, frequently synonymous with painful struggle. Jenni Davies, an actress, writer and mum-of-one from Aberdare, Wales, takes issue. “If you were to pigeonhole me into a demographic, I am a single parent, single income, working and working class,” she says. “I stay clear of programmes where editors and producers seek out working class who are vulnerable and/or desperate, formats that exploit their circumstances for entertainment value. They don’t represent me. If I had to identify with any programmes on TV, it’d be a difficult task. In Girls though, Lena Dunham skilfully portrayed the transition from coming of age in her 20s to 30s, through to single parenthood – her dialogue was honest and raw. In the cinema, Ken Loach’s I, Daniel Blake was able to look through the keyhole at a struggling single mother, without portraying her as drunk or stupid.”
Attempts at reflecting diversity, regardless of good intention, find mixed results. Since the pioneering days of breakout gay couple Colin and Barry in late-1980s’ EastEnders, portrayals of same-sex relationships in our soaps have been variously celebrated and rejected. Emmerdale’s Robert and Aaron have found favour with viewers, with Gay Times magazine deeming the cliche-free Aaron “a true original”; Attitude magazine has written glowingly about Hollyoaks’ John Paul and Craig; and Gay Times lauded EastEnders’ Syed and Christian, writing that the BBC “deserve major credit” for the “truly inspiring” handling of the conflicted Syed’s familial disownment.
Not everybody agrees, though. In 2011, Walford found itself at the receiving end of a George Michael Twitter rant so furious he deployed the third-person. “It’s official… George Michael has had enough of EastEnders,” he wrote. “Gay people deserve better than the BBC’s pathetic attempts to ‘represent’ us. The East End of London is one of the best places on earth to be a modern gay man or couple.” He called Christian and Syed’s relationship, which he railed against for suffering too many harrowing hardships, “the most insulting piece of bullshit on British television right now”, and rallied for a more positive portrayal of gay life.
In response, a BBC spokesman said that they weren’t “claiming to be factually representative”, and that all soap characters were put through the mill. Criticism though, Adil Ray told the Guardian in 2013, is healthy. He knew his BBC sitcom Citizen Khan, featuring a family of Pakistani Muslims, was delving into “sensitive” territory, and wasn’t surprised to hear complaints from those who found it stereotypical and disrespectful. “The fact is nobody’s right, we’re not all the same,” he said. “That’s a good thing. If the entire Muslim population had come out and said: ‘Yes, we all love Citizen Khan’, that’d be quite scary.”
Robert Popper’s popular Channel 4 comedy Friday Night Dinner, about a family of British Jews, has enjoyed four series, and its success can in part be attributed to its universality. The sitcom draws from Popper’s own experiences, yet while it is anchored on traditional weekly Shabbat family dinners, it isn’t overtly Jewish. Popper wanted it to chime with family mealtime experiences across the board, showing “a family under the microscope”, he told the Guardian when the show launched. “It’s deliberately not religious,” he said. “Also, I didn’t want to make it a cliched Jewish sitcom with everyone going ‘Oy vey!’ all the time.” He wanted it to feel modern, inclusive and real.
That seems to be the key – contemporary families need to be represented, but depictions need to ring true in order for us to, no pun intended, relate. In the McCain survey, 86% of Brits said they couldn’t recall anything in today’s popular culture in the last six months that featured a family like their own. Jenni Davies thinks the problem is more complex – and her thoughts echo Adil Ray’s. “I stay away from programmes that think they represent single-parent working-class people. Not a single programme represents single-parent working-class people. Because we are not a breed or a type. Circumstances can change in life. It’s not an affliction and, also, not permanent, and that applies to all parents from all walks of life. We are not a type, we are modern families. You can’t look to represent ‘people like me’ on TV, because we’re all different.” Over to you, TV execs.
We Are Family – a celebration of unfiltered family life
Modern British families come in all shapes and sizes. As part of its We Are Family campaign, McCain has partnered with London’s National Portrait Gallery to showcase an inspirational photography display that shines the spotlight on authentic, unfiltered family life in 2017 through the lens of mealtimes. We Are Family is on display at the National Portrait Gallery from 20 September 2017. Find out more at Facebook.com/McCainUK
