Full-time: Real Madrid 9-1 Granada
A close game, one that was just edged by Real Madrid, and this hard-fought win leaves them one point behind Barcelona, who play Celta Vigo tonight. Thanks for reading. Bye!
90 min: This is set to be Real’s biggest win since 1967.
GOAL! Real Madrid 9-1 Granada (Ronaldo, 89 min)
Cristiano Ronaldo has his fifth goal at last. Modric lifts the free-kick to the far post and there’s Ronaldo to head it home. But where was the marking? I can’t see any marking!
89 min: Bale is sent flying by Murrilo on the right. Yellow card.
85 min: Marcelo’s cross is headed over by Ronaldo. He grins. Real have had 30 shots.
84 min: Ronaldo could have had double figures. Jese scoots up the right flank and sends a cross towards Ronaldo, who fails to make contact with the ball at the far post!
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GOAL! Real Madrid 8-1 Granada (Mainz own goal, 83 min)
Oh dear. Luka Modric dashes down the right and his low centre is unerringly thumped into his own net by Mainz, much to the annoyance of Ronaldo, who was waiting behind him for a tap-in.
82 min: Ronaldo’s goal drought continues, his free-kick from 30 yards bouncing wide.
78 min: Bale’s sidefooter is pushed over by Oier.
GOAL! Real Madrid 7-1 Granada (Ibanez, 74 min)
The comeback is on! Ibanez breaks clear of the Real defence, who can probably be forgiven for dozing off, and slides the ball confidently past Casillas.
72 min: Ronaldo really wants that 15th goal. Jese finds Arbeloa on the overlap and his clipped cross is stabbed wide by Ronaldo from six yards!
70 min: Ronaldo. Bale. Ronaldo. Goal? No. Ronaldo has his head in his hands, his scuffed effort from six yards out dribbling wide.
67 min: Marcelo swings a cross into the area, but Hernandez sends his free header straight at Oier, and looks doleful.
65 min: The Bernabeu cheers. They thought this free-kick from Bale was in. But it wasn’t, it hit the side-netting.
62 min: Ronaldo almost scores his fifth. An attempted clearance from Murrilo hits Ronaldo and runs kindly for him, but he can’t poke the ball around Oier.
61 min: Granada bring on Murillo for Babin. Real bring on Jese for James Rodriguez, whose performance has been a delight. Javier Hernandez is also on for Benzema, who won’t be getting a hat-trick.
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60 min: Ronaldo’s skimmer from 20 yards flashes just wide.
59 min: Real have had eight shots on target and scored seven. They’ve got some decent finishers.
58 min: A Real attack fails to end in a goal. Varane heads over from a James Rodriguez corner.
57 min: Real bring on Asier Illarramendi for Toni Kroos.
GOAL! Real Madrid 7-0 Granada (Benzema, 56 min)
This is absurd. Arbeloa sets up Benzema and his shot from the right side of the area takes a deflection and zips up and beyold poor old Oier.
GOAL! Real Madrid 6-0 Granada (Ronaldo, 54 min)
They could get double figures. Marcelo pings a lovely diagonal from left to right, over the Granada defence, and Bale takes a touch and then squares it to Ronaldo, who heads into the empty net from yards out. He collided with the post as he scored and was down for a few seconds, but appears to be fine to continue.
53 min: Piti replaces Ruben Rochina.
GOAL! Real Madrid 5-0 Granada (Benzema, 52 min)
The dramatic tension decreases even further. James swings a corner to the far post from the left and Benzema takes advantage of woeful Granada marking, taking the ball down on his chest and then thrashing it into the net. How many more are Real going to get?
51 min: Modric has a pop from 20 yards. Over it goes. I feel that there is a lack of dramatic tension.
50 min: Cristiano Ronaldo drops the shoulder and goes down the outside, but gets his cross badly wrong, skewing it over the bar. What a waste of money.
48 min: Iker Casillas isn’t what he was. He spills a shot from Ibanez from 20 yards, but recovers in time to snatch the ball before any mischief can occur.
46 min: Off we go again. Forty-five more minutes of watching Real Madrid take candy from a baby.
Half-time: Real Madrid 4-0 Granada
I think that Real Madrid are going to win this match.
43 min: Ronaldo tries to turn provider, but his low cross towards Oier is snaffled by Benzema. Granada stream up the other end end and El Arabi, who has barely had a sniff, goes agonisingly close to scoring a stunner! He shot from 30 yards and the ball screamed past Casillas, only to crash down off the underside of the bar and on to the line! Granada claim it was over the line, but this is not going to be their day.
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40 min: On the plus side for Granada, they played quite well in the first 25 minutes.
GOAL! Real Madrid 4-0 Granada (Ronaldo, 38 min)
This is getting a bit silly now. Ronaldo drives inside from the left, on to his right foot, and lets fly from 20 yards. It’s a fearsome effort, struck with terrifying venom, and the power is enough to beat Oier, who couldn’t keep it out despite getting two hands to the ball. He probably should have saved that, but maybe he just wanted to be part of a first-half hat-trick for the ridiculous Cristiano Ronaldo.
GOAL! Real Madrid 3-0 Granada (Ronaldo, 36 min)
The floodgates have well and truly been smashed open. Marcelo skips down the left and crosses. Oier palms it out, but straight to Ronaldo, who creams a volley past him from 12 yards.
32 min: What a beautiful smile, though. A princely smile.
GOAL! Real Madrid 2-0 Granada (Ronaldo, 30 min)
Stop press! Cristiano Ronaldo is smiling! Expect full analysis of that smile in the next few days. And maybe some analysis of this goal as well. It came from a cross from the right which landed at the feet of Benzema in the area. He should have scored but faffed around with it and lost the chance. The ball was only half-cleared, though, and Ronaldo left it to James Rodriguez, who cleverly disguised a flick back to the main man, whose right-footed finish was unerring from the left side of the area. They got there in the end.
29 min: Ronaldo’s shot is deflected over from the left. Real are threatening to run riot now.
28 min: Especially caramelised onions.
27 min: A good goal from Gareth Bale, but I think we can all agree that he is still responsible for absolutely everything that is wrong in the world, including caramelised onions.
GOAL! Real Madrid 1-0 Granada (Bale, 25 min)
And Real score at this point! Toni Kroos slides a ball through the middle and although Mainz looks like he has it covered, he’s easily overpowered by Gareth Bale, who races clear, rounds Oier, takes his time, thinks about bending down and heading the ball over the line, decides against it, and taps the ball over the line before the defender can get back. What was I saying? I am a genius. Real Madrid, you are welcome and the invoice for that goal is in the post.
25 min: This is a pretty open game. Granada are breaking well when they get the ball. But you sense that Real are going to score at some point.
23 min: Emails please!
22 min: What a miss from Arbeloa! Marcelo charges to the byline and his chipped cross reaches his fellow full-back, Arbeloa, who somehow turns the ball wide of the open goal from a couple of yards out! Real should be ahead.
19 min: Modric turns brilliantly in the middle, wriggling clear of the Granada midfield, but his shot from 25 yards is blocked.
17 min: Bale has a dig from 25 yards. Deflected. Wide. Corner. Bale jumps high, Benzema jumps higher and his header pings off a defender and goes wide. Goal-kick, obviously.
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14 min: Granada go so close to taking the lead! Real lose possession in their own half and Ibanez is able to run at a backtracking Ramos, before drilling a low shot inches past the far post. Casillas was beaten.
12 min: Ronaldo does around 400 stepovers and then rams a shot into the side netting from the left. A swaying Foulqier looks rather dizzy after that.
1o min: This is why Granada are probably going down. A long ball over the top should be dealt with by one of Oier and Juan Carlos. Oier comes off his line, apparently to collect it, and the left-back lets the ball drop over his head, presumably because he got a shout, but neither incompetent had reckoned with Gareth Bale turning up in between them. Bale gets there post and lobs the ball over Oier - but just over. Unlucky.
9 min: Blackburn legend Ruben Rochina shoots from 30 yards. He does not score.
8 min: James Rodriguez pops up on the left and bends a cross to the far post to the stretching Benzema, who catches the ball cleanly on the volley. Oier holds it at his near post.
6 min: It’s okay, though, because I sleep under my desk. Please don’t tell my bosses that. They’re mistakenly under the impression that a family of possums are living in the Guardian office.
5 min: Benzema, looking along the line, is caught offside. It’s early. I mean, I only woke up 20 minutes ago.
3 min: Kroos can’t win the ball in midfield and Granada break, Ibanez sent haring away down the right. He waits for support and finds it in the form of Rochina, whose shot is deflected, the ball running through to Casillas, who manages not to throw it in. Well done, Iker.
2 min: Look outside. Go on. Look. It’s got the potential to become so sunny.
And we’re off! Granada, in their red and white shirts, get the ball rolling. They’re cowering from right to left in the first half. And you know what Real Madrid are wearing, so don’t even ask.
Here come the teams! Soon there will be football.
The teams!
Real Madrid: Casillas; Arbeloa, Ramos, Varane, Marcelo; Modric, Kroos, James; Bale, Benzema, Ronaldo. Subs: Keylor Navas, Coentrao, Chicharito, Lucas Silva, Nacho, Jesé, Illarramendi.
Granada: Oier; Foulquier, Babin, Mainz, Juan Carlos; Iturra, Fran Rico; Robert Ibáñez, Rochina, Candeias; El Arabi. Subs: Roberto, Nyom, Javi Márquez, Piti, Riki, Eddy, Murillo.
So Real Madrid could do with waking up. They’ve been playing badly all year, the title is in danger of slipping away, they’ve got their bogey team, Atletico Madrid, in the last eight of the Champions League and Carlo Ancelotti is under increasing pressure, with noted managerial genius Zinedine Zidane innocently lurking around in the shadows. All of which means that a visit from lowly Granada, 19th in La Liga, is most welcome, a chance for Real to restore some much-needed confidence. That’s the theory anyway.
Kick-off: 11am in London, 12pm in Madrid.
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