FULL-TIME: Madrid 2-0 Almeria
So Madrid couldn’t get close to Barcelona’s efforts of last night, though James’ goal was an absolute jazzer. Basically, they’re just not as good, but still good enough, so are still in the hunt. Walking off the pitch, Ronaldo does not look at all happy, but I imagine he’ll cope.
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90 min Apologies, my console appears to have jammed. Anyway, there shall be two additional minutes for the cosmos to solve the paradox and allow Ronaldo his goal.
90 min More frustration for poor Cock Ronnie, Hernandez again pulling left and crossing for him, only for a dastardly defender to defend.
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86 min No Odegaard - Nacho comes on for Varane. However will we cope; won’t someone please think of the algorithms?
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GOAL! Madrid 3-0 Almeria (Arbeloa 85)
Much sniggering, as Isco waves his foot over the ball just outside the box, left of centre, then snaps a ball for Hernandez outside him. He crosses low and across the face, to the back post where Ronaldo is waiting to run into an empty net. Except Arbeloa arrives in front of him and taps home, so Ronaldo looks all disappointed.
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84 min Jese skates away down the flank and clips a low cross towards Ronaldo at the near post. But three men hurl themselves in its road, one of them deflecting behind for a corner - Ronaldo is mad keen to get the ball off them, so that he can score help his team.
82 min Suddenly Madrid break, Ronaldo tip-toeing and sidewiinding through centrefield. He’s got Hernandez to left and Jese right, so naturally, he welts a shot miles over the bar from just outside the box.
81 min Apparently, Ancelotti is “considering bringing on Martin Odegaard”. Quite how this is known remains unknown. But he may as well, and it’d be nice if he did.
79 min Zongo powers through centrefield, leaving Isco, and finds Dubarbier on the left. But he can’t quite decide what to do next, and the ball ends up with Navas.
77 min Lovely from Isco, collecting the ball 40 yards from goal and measuring a sharp pass into the feet of Hernandez, in space inside the box. Not entirely surprisingly, his touch isn’t up to it, diverting a square ball into the path of Ronaldo, who shoots from an acute angle - but the defender blocks easily enough.
76 min Coentrao runs across Ximo on the Almeria right, 40 yards from goal and close to the touchline. It looks a sair yin, and Coentrao is booked. The free-kick comes to nowt.
74 min Ronaldo appears on the right, streaking away and clipping towards the near post, to arrive into the stride of Hernandez. He shapes to turn it past Ruben, but can’t quite get his foot outside the ball, toeing it wide instead.
73 min Neat passing from Almeria, Azeez, Zongo and Dubarbier combining. It doesn’t get them anywhere, but it was geometrically pleasing.
70 min Ronaldo latches onto a ball spread left by Isco, and crosses towards Hernandez, but a clutch of defenders bundle and bungle clear. Then, Kroos releases him at inside-left, he ducks inside Ximo’s challenge and drags a shot well wide.
70 min Almeria made a further change a couple of minutes ago - Verza was replaced by Azeez.
68 min Madrid force two corners, first from the left, then the right. The second finds Varane, close to the penalty sport and contorting his body to get underneath it. But the angle and attention of the defenders are too much, and the ball drops just wide.
67 min Can someone please confirm that Madrid fans sing “he’s I-S-C-O, he’s I-S-C-O”. Thanks.
65 min Double change for Madrid: Isco on for James, Lucas on for Illaramendi.
64 min Ronaldo finds space and draws defenders towards him, swaying, weaving and jinking away but not past them - in the end, he turns back to face his own goal and lays the ball back.
63 min Espinosa replaces Thomas.
62 min Zongo escapes down the right, running onto a return pass from Dubarbier. There’s not much going on in the middle, so he tries to fade a cross towards the near post, but Navas seizes it easily.
61 min Isco and Lucas Silva are warming up. But what about Odegaard! Don’t they know who he is! Don’t they know who we are!
59 min Change for Almeria, Zongo replacing Edgar, who’s off to feign madness and commune with nature.
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57 min Madrid are playing with leisurely confidence now, Coentrao scything forwards and exchanging passes with James before finding Jese inside the box, left-hand side. He’s crowded out, but that was lovely, incisive, imaginative stuff.
55 min Talking of Trujillo, a different one, as in the former dictator of the Dominican Republic, features strongly in Junot Diaz’s novel, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. It was recently voted book of the decade or somesuch, but don’t let that put you off; read it.
53 min Jese finds space on the right, shifts the ball and whips a low cross over that Trujillo dives to head behind at the front post. The corner comes to nowt.
52 min Turns out that, amazingly, Mauro beat Ronaldo to a ball in front of goal, which explains why Ronaldo was moodily and ostentatiously wagging his finger while his mates celebrated.
51 min Odegard is warming up!
GOAL! Madrid 2-0 Almeria (Ronaldo 49)
Madrid waste a corner from the right, but Jese does brilliantly to run away from goal, then turn onto a reverse pass that sets Kroos away down the same flank. In the middle, Ronaldo has already beaten the offside trap, so a square-ball is fine, and summarily swept into the net.
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49 min Javier Hernandez now sports a haircut. Is nothing sacred?
48 min Dubarbier stretches away down the left, but the ball’s running away from him, such that the only cross he can muster is directly into the arms of Navas.
47 min In response to the midfield question, Phil Podolsky emails thusly: “Tempted to say ‘Yaya Toure’ but, unlike the wee Croatian, the Ivorian powerhouse does not do defence. Maybe Barcelona’s Rakitic has a comparable package.”
Oo-er, and all that. Rakitic is a beautiful player, but he’s not got the same toughness and tenacity, I don’t think, nor the ability to run a game. Maybe one day, but.
46 min And off we pootle.
HALF-TIME: Madrid 1-0 Almeria
Madrid have not played at all well, but then that’s them, really - amazing individuals more than an amazing team, such that someone or other will usually handle things doing this kind of thing.
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GOL(AZO)! Real Madrid 1-0 Almeria (James 45)
Oh, this is a goal! Kroos lifts forward looking for Ronaldo, and Trujillo stumbles into a low header, bumping the ball off the turf and beautifully into the stride of James. He composes and accelerates, then smears his left foot across a shot that soars and swerves into the roof of the net - quite how he managed to keep it down when it was already on the rise, especially given the power he then applied, surely makes him some kind of physics genius. Hacer una reverencia, hijo!
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43 min It’s it’s psychologically crucial not to concede before half-time time. Here’s the definitive goal of the genre, from Trevor Hebberd.
42 min Coentrao steps on it, accelerating through the inside-left position, but Edgar chases hard, sliding in to rob and diverting the ball to Mauro, who clears. Very well played.
40 min A box appears beneath the score telling us how many passes each side has attempted and completed. I’ve not a clue why.
39 min Nice from Almeria, clipping and tapping the ball across the back four before injecting a little pace to make angles to snap it forwards. They lose possession just outside Madrid’s box, but they’re growing in confidence.
37 min Madrid aren’t passing the ball as sharply as they need to - a difference between them and Barcelona, I guess, certainly with this line-up. More or less, they’re hoping for breaks, or going wide and crossing. Or sweeping shots from outside the box well over the bar, as Kroos just has.
35 min Madrid have created alarmingly little. I’d expect to see Isco before long.
33 min Another free-kick to Madrid, 30 yards out again, but level with the left edge of the box. I wonder who’ll take it. Oh, it’s Ronaldo, and he snaps a stun with no follow-through that whooshes over the bar and plenty.
32 min Oh, Javier. He screeches down the left and onto a pass from James, while Ronaldo clacks heels en route to the middle. But Hernandez’s pass is miles in front of him, and he quickly dons his cute face to repel the likely remonstration.
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30 min Old Ronaldo would be looking at things very different to Contemporary Ronaldo, looking to run past men with the ball, rather than without it.
28 min Madrid win a free-kick 30 yards out, more or less dead centre. He stares out everything in the world, then strides up and wipes foot across the ball, sending it drifting right as the keeper inches left, to ruffle the roof of the net - but from the outside.
26 min Almeria make a mess of a clearance deep inside their own box, right hand side. Illaramendi bumps his way underneath the dropping ball, so Dubarbier is forced to lean-in from behind, putting him off. There’s a minor call for a penalty, but just because.
25 min Jese runs at Dubarbier and takes him on the outside, but arrives close to the corner flag. Still, he managed to digwhip a low cross that scoots across the face of goal, but no one’s mithered to gamble, assuming it impossible in the circumstances.
24 min Thomas looks a player - he’s making clever runs off Kroos and exploding into space when the ball arrives.
22 min Perhaps another option for Madrid is to shove Kroos further forwards - Illaramendi ought to cope without him. But here comes Thomas, right side of the box, coming inside and rolling across into the stride of Verza. It’s a proper chance, no one between him and goal, but his shot is both tickle and shank.
20 min James lifts a pass inside to out, finding Ronaldo down the left. Ximo inserts himself between man and ball, knocks it out with his knees, and is awarded a goalkick. This causes minor consternation.
18 min Almeria are doing an excellent job of shackling Madrid at the moment. Without Modric, and with Isco on the bench, they perhaps lack a little bit ingenuity around the box. Perhaps, if they struggle to score, Ronaldo might enjoy a jaunt through the middle.
16 min There is no more complete midfielder in the world than Luka Modric; discuss.
14 min Pepe rattles Verza on halfway, and from the free-kick, Almeria attack. They find Corona on the edge of the box, and he shoots low, Keylor Navas shovelling behind. Then, from the corner, Madrid break with Jese, but he overruns the ball and they have to start again.
12 min The commentator reckons Almeria are playing a back-six, but then Gerry Armstrong points out that the wide players are tucking in, making it, by my calculations, a back-eight. I wonder if, in this kind of game, Madrid are better without Bale - seems to me like he needs space in front of him, and isn’t the best from a standing start.
11 min Does anyone else call Sergi “Barjuan Sergi”? I didn’t even play Champ Man, yet still can’t help it.
9 min Almeria can’t get a touch, though, in their defence, they’re not really planning any.
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7 min Ronaldo escapes down the left, his left, and crumps a low shot that Ruben almost dives past, saving with his leg. The ball flies behind, and from the corner, Ronaldo heads wide. Violet Elizabeth Bott is watching with interest.
6 min This is lovely, is this, this is. James flicks a square ball to Illaramendi, who fires into the feet of Hernandez. His first touch is surprisingly deft, a flick between the centre-backs as Trujillo dreams, that arrives into the stride of Ronaldo. And he botches the take! Lol @ him, or somesuch.
4 min Kroos darts a ball out to Arbeloa - there’s no one anywhere near him. Perhaps Almeria have decided to simply defend the box, but if so, that doesn’t look wise. Anyway, Arberloa arrives at the by-line and clips across a cross looking for Hernandez, but Rodriguez intercedes, glancing a header just wide.
3 min Hernandez escapes down the left and skims a low cross towards the far post, but it’s just too sharp for Ronaldo.
2 min Odegaard, then. Ignoring the world tour for a second, is it reasonable of his da to try and negotiate the best deal for his son, and if he feels he can demand the playing time that’s clinching his signature, to do just that - or should he just shut-up.
2 seconds Bah - this doesn’t happen. Just look at his booking-receiving stance!
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Looking at the Almeria team, they’ve not come to engage in tit-for-tat Dubarbier, a defender, is playing on the wing, as is Edgar, a midfielder.
When these teams met last, Madrid won 4-1, though weirdly, that shirker Ronaldo only managed to score twice. Pathetic, Messi would’ve managed at least 42, none of them penalties.
Team news
Nii Lamptey Martin Odegaard and his air miles are on the bench for Madrid.
Real Madrid CF: Keylor Navas, Arbeloa, Varane, Pepe, Coentrao Illarramendi, Kroos, James, Jesé, Chicharito y Cristiano.
Subs: Casillas, Marcelo, Silva, Nacho, Isco, Odegaard, Mayoral.
Almeria: Ruben; Ximo, Trujillo, Mauro, Mané; Verza, Thomas, Corona; Dubarbier, Hemed y Edgar.
Subs: Cuesta Díaz, Casado Bizcocho, Sundy Zongo, Espinosa, Sánchez Aguayo, Marín Molina, Azeez.
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Preamble
Yes, Real Madrid and Barcelona are fighting for the league title, but as far as this midweek goes, the competition is one of beautiful destruction. Last night, Getafe were obliterated via a succession of ridiculous goals; if we’re lucky, an even worse fate will befall Almeria tonight. Because that’s the point of it all, right?
