A few months ago, I started noticing certain turbulence in my thoughts and behaviour. My mind was sort of acting in auto mode. I would decide about something but when the time to act came, my mind would find a number of excuses to leave it at that. But it was just the tip of the iceberg; the real thing was hidden. I decided to delve deeper into it by paying keen attention to my thoughts, so as to find some pattern and subsequently solve the problem.
I would be reading something and in between, my mind would show some related image from memory. I would follow the image and that would lead to something else. That something else would be followed by something entirely unconnected with the subject of my reading. This chain would become even lengthier if I decided to do an Internet search in between, thus eating away a good amount of my productive time. No wonder that the mind has been compared to a monkey. This monkey gets a free hand in the era of information overload. My intention, in no way, is to blame the Internet; on the contrary, I am a big fan of it, but it works better if we are the one in charge.
Anyway, coming back to the point, the same thing was observed while watching online videos. When I looked at my "watch history", I was surprised. As much as 90% of the content had zero utility in my life. In fact, I would be more at peace if I avoided them.
One more interesting pattern was that most of the consumed content could be classified into a few groups. This is how the recommendation thing works. You earlier didn’t like a particular person and thus you watched a critical video on him. After that, you had multiple video recommendations (mostly opinion pieces) on the same individual, each leading to an increase in your dislike towards him. Similarly, if you sort of liked that person earlier, then thank your algorithm, the person is no less than God for you now. Notice how they are able to evoke such strong emotions in you and where does it come from?
I wouldn’t hesitate to accept if someone proclaims that the cases of mental illness are on the rise ever since social media has penetrated our daily lives. They do increase our need for social affirmation. We don’t just post our stuff, we also want them to be liked and bestowed with glorious comments. Surprisingly, this comes at a time when we think that individualism is rising. The inner rebel within us says that it doesn’t care about people’s opinion, and all this, while checking the recent likes on the latest post. How will this conflict not reflect in our day-to-day life?
Let’s take an analogy. What would happen if we decide to open 100 apps on our smartphone and keep switching to another app before the first one could load completely? The phone would most probably hang. But that’s exactly what we are doing with our minds, every single day. We initiate hundreds of thought chains and before we could reach to the logical conclusion of one, we switch over to another. Distress is inevitable.
So, what is the way out? First, a disclaimer that I am no expert; I am only giving my opinion.
For a few days, cut yourself off from your regular channels of input. That is stop following similar kind of literature, ideologies, videos and so on and keep a comfortable distance from those inducing negative emotions in you. Don’t worry, I am not asking you to be a hermit! I just want you to observe your mind. Observe the kind of thoughts and emotions that it entertains daily. Be very alert and very aware. Every time a moment comes when your mind wants to react in auto mode, stop right there and just let the moment pass. If you do this practice long enough, you would see that you are regaining your peace of mind. Once you realise this game, even when you go back to your old ways, you wouldn’t suffer much.
I would conclude with a profound quote from J. Krishnamurti, "If we can really understand the problem, the answer will come out of it, because the answer is not separate from the problem."
