New York rap and fashion maven A$AP Rocky thinks hip-hop has become like the theatrical, body-slam heavy world of WWE. Speaking to Elliott Wilson at a live recording of the CRWN hip-hop podcast at the Tribeca film festival, the 26-year-old rapper said: “Rap is the new wrestling,” before adding that in the world of contemporary hip-hop, rappers pick a strange name, say some ridiculous things and then wait until people pay attention (isn’t that just a guide to becoming famous in 2015?). He has a point though, even if there is more than a hint of irony in that theory coming from a rapper whose name is A$AP Rocky and whose biggest hit was called Fuckin’ Problems complaining about outlandish and gauche hip-hop acts with daft names. We’ve taken his assertion as a starting point and tried to figure out which WWE superstars (past and present) line up with contemporary rap stars.
Vince McMahon and Jay Z
Jay Z might have had a slight stutter with Tidal, his music streaming service which – unlike Mankind – hasn’t really taken off, but since the 1990s he’s provided the rocksteady ballast that’s given hip-hop stability. Just like Vince McMahon, Jay Z is that ever present paternal figure casting a shadow over the rest of the rap fraternity. It’s not just all voyeuristic overlord stuff though, when Jay Z turns up on a track or as a political consultant – it’s a big deal – just as when McMahon turns up at ringside he can still turn heads and produce a chorus of boos. He’s also had his own business missteps, the XFL, for example. LB
Rick Ross and Ric Flair
One is a flamboyant, self-obsessed narcissist with a habit of apocryphal boasts, the other is Ric Flair. On the surface the two Ric(k)s might not exactly seem like doppelgängers, but Flair’s nature boy arrogant-douche shtick is pretty close to the brag-until-you-drop ethos that has seen Rick Ross go from correctional officer to the world’s biggest pretend drug dealer rapper bloke. Take, for example, Flair’s “this belt cost more than the house you live in” promo and compare it with, well, almost any Rick Ross lyric. Neither are exactly brother-in-law material, but they’d be great value at a dinner party (you’d probably have to serve caviar and crystal though, or maybe just some gluten-free cornbread). LB
The Rock and Kanye West
Multi-discipline dominance is what both the Rock (Dwayne Johnson) and Kanye West are all about. The Rock has managed to traverse the worlds of wrestling, music and film by being a confident charismatic on-stage and on-screen performer, Kanye hasn’t quite got there yet opting, for a more direct, in-your-face, give-me-it-now approach. Kanye’s wrestling “persona” would surely be somewhere near the Rock though. Putting people in their place, interrupting promo videos and generally revelling in being both the biggest heel/babyface in the WWE. LB
Waka Flocka Flame and The Ultimate Warrior
This comparison is based solely on two videos. One is Waka Flocka Flame in the studio recording a series of increasingly manic ad-libs, the other is a compilation of the Ultimate Warriors bizarre promos where he talks about being trampled by elephants and other non sequiturs. Apart from the intense energy both bring, other similarities include long hair and a penchant for wearing face-paint and fake blood. Also, Waka Flocka Flame clearly already has a wrestling name and could start a tag team with Gucci Mane simply called The Brick Squad. It’s on a plate. LB
Drake and Roman Reigns
These guys are what you end up with if you let a market research team design you a superstar. They’re what people who don’t like wrestling or rap think people who do like wrestling or rap like, or maybe should like; toothless facsimiles combing traits found favorable through focus groups held in midwestern shopping malls. Roman Reigns looks like a cut-price Dothraki with a stylist, Drake’s best and most believable performance as either MC or actor will always be that commercial where he plays a robot powered by Sprite. Plus, they both have these weird wet eyes like they got their feelings hurt and are trying super hard not to cry. TB
LL Cool J and John Cena
Both seem genuinely nice, look a little like muscle-bound toddlers, are talented yet strangely inauthentic (has the threat of being knocked unconscious ever seemed milder then when delivered by LL Cool J at his mother’s behest?), and when you think about it it’s weird neither have been in a Fast and Furious movie yet. There’s a point in the future of that franchise where LL Cool J is going to play an NFL star who needs Vin Diesel’s help to clear his name after being accused of murder and Cena is going to play the federal marshal hunting them down until he realizes it’s all about family, nothing is more important than family, and then they team up. TB
CM Punk and Tupac Shakur
It’s hard to tell if these two are actually the smartest people in their fields or just come off as really smart because no one else around them seems to value intelligence. Actually, what they really have in common is probably frustration at being so smart, surrounded by dummies, and needing everyone watching to recognize the distinction. That kind of thing can make a person intensely unlikable (see Kelsey Grammer) unless they can really back it up, and both Punk and Tupac had no trouble with that. Actually, what they share in common most strongly is that fans of both refuse to believe they’re actually gone and jump at even the slightest hint they might come back. TB
Macho Man Randy Savage and Nas
Nas and Macho Man are both probably more talented than their more popular contemporaries, and not to say that they’re not popular on their own but neither ever made it all the way to the top. Maybe it’s because neither of them seems very comfortable in their skin or easy to get along with, maybe it’s because they both seem a bit put off at not being considered the greatest of all time. Or maybe it’s because of how uncompromising they are in their more far-out beliefs: Nas’s that he saw an alien spaceship over Los Angeles in 2001, Macho Man’s that Slim Jims are the ideal form of sustenance for human life. TB
