RAN-GRRRS
Football Daily would never publicly admit that our life is so meaningless, empty and utterly devoid of purpose that we occasionally spend our leisure time perusing the fan forums of random clubs with whom we have no affiliation just to pass the time. No, that would be embarrassing so it was purely in the interests of diligent professional research that we spent the buildup to one of last night’s Bigger Cup qualifiers scrutinising the long pre-match thread on a forum devoted to one fitba club in particular, all the better to gauge the mood among Rangers fans before their first leg against Club Brugge. Before a ball had been kicked, it was one of cautious optimism that was quickly replaced by fatal realism and no end of radge-induced McEffing and McJeffing a mere three minutes after kick-off. That’s how long it took for the hesitant-to-the-point-of-slumbering Rangers duo Nasser Djiga and Jack Butland to contrive to concede a goal so slapstick (but beautifully finished) that it would be worth resurrecting A Question of Sport for one final episode of What Happened Next?
A game that started badly for Rangers quickly slalomed downhill faster than Franz Klammer and after just 20 minutes a steady stream of irate fans could be seen heading for the Ibrox exits after watching their team go 3-0 down. Having already witnessed Rangers lurch and stumble through their opening two qualifiers like a drunk on his way home after a night at The Fist & Lizard, they had clearly seen enough and decided that, for this season at least, their team’s Bigger Cup jig and the £40m+ windfall that comes with it is almost certainly up. A second-half goal from Danilo took the bare look off Rangers’ side of the scoreboard and left their fans with that nagging feeling of faint hope that makes fools of us all but Ally McCoist gave his former side little more than a snowman’s chance in hell of turning the tie around when discussing last night’s fiasco on the wireless. “On that first-half performance, they couldn’t beat anybody to be honest,” he sighed. “To have any chance they’ve got to score first, that’s for sure but even I as the eternal optimist think it’ll be a big struggle.”
While the crowd at Ibrox had already made their mind up about Russell Martin before this game, it remains to be seen how long Rangers, who have recently burned through managers at a rate that would make even the Watford owners balk, will be prepared to keep him on board in the face of such obvious fan fury. The first appointment of the club’s new owners, 49ers Enterprises, Martin faced the obligatory questions from the press afterwards from behind a table bearing several bottles of Bigger Cup-sanctioned Crocodile Drink which he did his best to view as half-full. “That’s as hard as it will ever be for the players on the pitch,” he blathered of the opening 20 minutes. “I’m proud of how they responded. They all displayed courage in the second half. We recovered properly and we hurt them as much as they hurt us. That goal changes everything.”
In the unlikely event they exist, more level-headed Rangers fans will almost certainly concede their team simply does not have good enough players to avoid the humiliations that unlikely qualification for Bigger Cup will surely bring and with a consolation place in Bigger Vase already assured, their club’s future on the continent is not entirely bleak. However, regardless of where or who they play, there is widespread frustration over Martin’s team selections, player acquisitions and tactics after just eight games. The 39-year-old said he hoped to be “judged in May”, but the fact of the matter is the majority of the Ibrox jury reached their verdict before his appointment in June.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
I’m not at the [PFA awards] ceremony tonight. With everything going on, it didn’t feel right to be there. I’ve kept quiet for a long time while others have spoken. That silence has allowed people to push their own version of events, even though they know it doesn’t reflect what was really said and agreed behind closed doors. The reality is that promises were made and the club has known my position for a long time. To now act as if these issues are only emerging is misleading. When promises are broken and trust is lost the relationship can’t continue. That’s where things are for me right now – and why change is in the best interests of everyone, not just myself” – the Alexander Isak transfer saga goes on (and on, and on), with the striker sounding like he’s almost at the stage where he’s going to write a painful breakup album if his latest Instachat post is anything to go by. Newcastle have been quick to fire back: “We are clear in response that Alex remains under contract and that no commitment has ever been made by a club official that Alex can leave Newcastle United this summer.” Make it end!
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Football can be a pleasing source of anagrams. Is Pep Guardiola’s eternal youth down to synthetic cream (Manchester City)? After years in the doldrums, Lilywhites fans are now Sudden Elite (Leeds United). Carlisle United’s slow demise looks like Ritual Declines? Meanwhile, the foul atmosphere emanating from Alexander Isak’s claim that he was promised he could move to a bigger club may lead one to suspect this ‘is a rank ex-deal’. And of course, Brugge seem poised to thoroughly anagram Rangers’ Bigger Cup ambitions. I would get out more but I’m too busy watching Countdown” – Mark McFadden.
Newcastle sporting director: ‘Well, we’ll just play Callum. Wait … where is Callum? In fact, where am I?” – Joe Skupien.
May I be the first – although I’m probably not – to start a campaign to either rename the offence to hand/arm ball or limit the offence to just the hand. Surely the intent is to stop players controlling (handling) the ball so why is using the arm penalised? You can use your knee, chest, stomach or posterior so why not your arm?” – Nick Smyth.
Wolfsburg (yesterday’s Memory Lane – full email edition) have never had the same allure since they told manager Wolfgang Wolf to do one” – Jon Harris.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Mark McFadden. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, can be viewed here.
RECOMMENDED BOOKING
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