'This caption has collapsed under the weight of its own irony ... ' Alicia Keys holds a gun in a scene from the film Smokin' Aces
With all the statesmanlike authority we've come to associate with R&B heroes like Bobby Brown, R Kelly and Whitney Houston, Alicia Keys has weighed into the ongoing gangster rap debate with a telling contribution on Blender.
In the interview, headlined Alicia Keys: Unlocked (unhinged would be more accurate), the singer says she believes that gangster rap was invented by the government to "convince black people to kill each other". So there you have it. You thought Schoolly D and Ice-T were the architects of gangsta? Trigger, please.
Alicia Keys is not alone in her adherence to left-field conspiracy theories. Recording artists pick them up like STDs on tour and hip-hop has collected more than its fair share. Wayward genius Canibus is a walking Wikipedia of conspiracy theory on tracks like The Grand Deception and artists like Mobb Deep, Immortal Technique are knee-deep in Illuminati rhetoric on many of their tricks.
Rock acts don't slouch in this department either. Pixies frontman Black Francis's obsession with UFO mythology is well documented and Ministry make it clear they are down with the controlled demolition theory of 9/11. Then there's Robbie Williams and Area 51. The bigger the lie, the more they believe.
What conclusions can we draw from this? In part it's about never trusting The Man. Rappers and rockers are hardwired to rebel against the government line even when it makes them look even dumber than they already are (which, most commentators concur, is "very"). We all know that musicians have far too much time on their hands and that this, combined with low IQ and drug intake, leaves them vulnerable to the intricate stupidities of David Icke and the 9/11 "truth" movement.
I propose some kind of government-sponsored care in the community initiative to keep them occupied when they are not touring or recording, to keep these outbursts to a minimum. Maybe give them meals on wheels or take them to the bingo. It's likely too late to save Alicia Keys, but if it means one less crank running their mouth about Illuminati, 9/11 and reptilians then it's got to be money well spent.
