With my windows open in the warm weather, I’ve been waking to a glorious dawn chorus.
Sitting with a cuppa in the garden I’m starting to pick out the sparrows from the robins and the tits from the chattering parakeets.
And as the birdsong seems to amplify every day I feel I’m growing calmer.
Perhaps I can only hear them because my noisy London neighbourhood has gone corona quiet – with fewer cars on the busy road and no planes overhead.
Or maybe my noisy thoughts just deafened me to their twittering. I’ve always had a “buzzy” brain but occasionally it feels like I can’t think for interference.
It’s when I’m heading for a depressive episode, one of several I’ve suffered since a nervous breakdown 16 years ago. Thankfully, with medical help and counselling, I am now much better at spotting the warning signals.
And I know I need to take a break until the scary white noise in my head dies away. Yet, even now, the hardest part is admitting that – to myself and to the family, friends and colleagues who can help me through.
I feel weak, pathetic, and ashamed. I don’t want to burden them again.
But until I’ve said: “I’m struggling to cope” I can’t start dialling down the noise.
That’s how I felt three weeks ago when I spoke to my line manager at work.
It’s why I took a bit of time off and why Anne Diamond kindly stood in for me last Sunday.
There wasn’t any particular trigger. There doesn’t need to be.
But we are in the middle of a global pandemic – a physical AND mental health crisis. Millions are struggling to cope with fear, anxiety and isolation.
So mental Health Awareness Week, just gone, felt more relevant than ever this year. And the #SpeakYourMind campaign is urging us all to share our tips and coping strategies.
Well, I suggest getting outside early, in the strange peace and quiet of the coronavirus lockdown. Because once you start to tune in to birdsong it really can help calm the soul.
