LONELINESS is a universal and natural experience humans are bound to go through at least once in their lives but for some, it can be hard to escape.
One in five Australians agree in saying they "often feel very lonely", found in the Household Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) Survey, through the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare.
For 26 year-old Novocastrian Joey Fry, the experience of loneliness sent him into the depths of darkness when he tried to take his own life on Christmas Eve in 2019.
"I went to a really rough patch in my life, it was quite a downhill spiral when I split with my longtime partner and my roommate moved out leaving me alone for the first time in my adult life," he said.
"That's the first time I ever experienced severe loneliness."
He was found unconscious, revived and just six days later he woke up in the Intensive Care Unit with his mum hovering over him, and she said "Sweetheart, there's been an accident and you've lost your leg".
"I felt a lot of guilt and shame. It was the most heartbreaking sentence I've ever had to cop and then to cop it from someone you love so much - it was truly a life changing sentence," he said.
In his recovery Mr Fry said he experienced amplified emotions of shame and anger but it was love and compassion that pulled him through.
"You experience all those feelings on the most extreme scale so while it was the darkest hours of my life at the same time I was having connections," he said.
"It took such a traumatic experience to realise what I actually had right under my nose, the connections. I had with my family and friends, the compassion from doctors nurses and the community," he said.
Now living with an amputated right leg above the knee, Mr Fry says he has two ambitions in life - to share his story for positive impact as a disability and mental health ambassador, while living life to the fullest and striving to compete at the 2026 Winter Paralympics in skiing.
"I want to live life to the fullest with my friends and family and in my community," he said.
Mr Fry also features in part of a documentary on social isolation called The Great Separation, which came about after he was found by a Melbourne-based filmmaker who heard his call on Triple J's Hottest 100.
"I was calling to talk about my number one pick and that song was all about enjoying life again," he said.
"The filmmaker, Shannon Swan, heard me and got in touch. He wanted to do a documentary not just on me, but social connection, and use my story to go on that journey."
Through the filming process, he said they undertook social experiments and he had the chance to speak with experts in different fields.
"I got to ask what we're doing right, what we're doing wrong and what we can be doing better," he said.
A social experiment that "blew his mind" was setting up a table on the corner of his street and striking up a conversation with strangers.
"I really didn't think it was going to work, I thought I was going to be sitting by myself for two hours," he said.
"But then two people came up, that turned into five and five turned into 10, but the afternoon's end we had the whole street around," he said.
"It was quite incredible."
They found in the week's after the social experiment people were still checking in on each other, it was a social experiment that worked, Mr Fry said.
Coinciding with R U OK Day on September 14, Mr Fry wanted to reiterate the importance of how starting a conversation can change someone's life.
"I never had that chat with anyone, and that's not anyone's fault because I put walls up around people and I stopped the chance to have that conversation. From the outside looking in my life was completely fine," he said.
"But I think we need to keep showing up, keep living your life and lean on the people that you love the most, because that's how anyone can get by."
"You don't necessarily want to, there's a lot of ways to opt out of having that social connection, but people are reporting once they actually do have their social connection they feel a little bit better afterwards."
The Great Separation is set to air on SBS on Tuesday, October 10.
If you need someone to talk to:
- Lifeline on 13 11 14
- Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800
- MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978
- Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
- Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36
- Headspace on 1800 650 890
- QLife on 1800 184 527
.png?w=600)
