JK Rowling takes delight in scaring Harry Potter fans as she announces the title of the seventh and final book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, and teases with some plot options. Is Harry off to the big boarding school in the sky?
'Doing something sensible is not necessarily a U-turn.'
Home Secretary John Reid defending the decision not to build a new 'clean' database for ID cards. Ah, but it can be sensible and a U-turn.
'He's a perfectly charming person who would water your roses while you were on holiday, but as leader of the main campaigning body against racism in Britain he's been a complete dud.'
Ken Livingstone on Trevor Phillips. Ken's roses, one imagines, will die of thirst next time the mayor picks up his bucket and spade.
'The rest of the population are getting hammered all the time, so why not the leader of a party? I just think this thing of expecting people to be paragons of virtue doesn't work.'
Jarvis Cocker takes a novel approach to Charles Kennedy's difficult year. But if we're all lying in the gutter, don't we need someone to show us the way home?
'I plan to send more song-accompanying machines to the People's Armed Forces.'
Is Kim Jong-il seriously thinking of keeping his troops happy with karaoke? Sing a song for Christmas...
