Quiz: how well do you know Australian political scandals?

Sam Dastyari is the latest in a long line of politicians who have resigned over controversies which could have easily been avoided. Photograph: Daniel Mcculloch/AAP

1. Queensland state politician Peter Dowling stood aside as chair of the parliamentary ethics committee after a scandal in which he earned the nickname “the plonker”. What did he do to earn the moniker?

   1. Paid a professional basketball player to let him score in a charity game

   2. Took a photo of his penis in a wine glass and sent them to his former mistress

   3. Fell into the ocean while touring the Great Barrier Reef

   4. Asked a Chinese donor to cover his bill for a case of red wine

2. Jamie Briggs was the first minister in the Malcolm Turnbull government to resign because of a scandal. He tendered it after doing what?

   1. Breaking a table in the prime minister’s office while dancing on it the night Tony Abbott was despatched by Malcolm Turnbull

   2. Trying to trip over fellow South Australian Nick Xenophon when they passed each other at a function

   3. Saying submarines should be built in Melbourne

   4. Behaving inappropriately towards a young department of foreign affairs employee in a Hong Kong bar

3. Western Australia MP Troy Buswell sniffed chairs after a meeting trying to guess which one a female staffer had been sitting in. According to the woman, while he sniffed them he:

   1. Groaned and made sexually satisfying noises

   2. Said he could smell cinnamon and fish

   3. Said he was looking for his wallet

   4. Said he was looking for his political career

4. Tony Abbott’s predecessor in the seat of Warringah, Michael Mackellar, held the immigration and health portfolios before resigning from the Liberal frontbench after a staffer incorrectly filled out the customs declaration for what?

   1. Ten cartons of Winfield Blue cigarettes

   2. A diamond necklace for his wife

   3. A colour television

   4. A black and white television

5. Then minister for business and consumer affairs, John Moore, also took a fall with Mackellar over the customs furore. What did he do?

   1. He didn't act "adequately" when he found out

   2. He tried to buy the goods from Mackellar

   3. He tried to set up a smuggling ring in parliament to import the same thing

   4. He didn’t declare a bottle of Jack Daniels

6. The former Northern Territory sports minister Nathan Barrett resigned after filming himself masturbating in his office and sending it unsolicited to a woman who was not his wife. When a constituent complained about his behaviour on Facebook, he said:

   1. “I apologise unreservedly to you, my other constituents, and of course my wife”

   2. “It was a Sunday”

   3. “Stop shaming me”

   4. “I don’t know what I was thinking”

7. NSW politician Reba Meagher was not sacked but announced she was not seeking a cabinet position after a series of controversies which included:

   1. Leaving her parliamentary driver waiting all night after she went to a bar and left in a taxi

   2. Falsely accusing the Chinese of hacking her Twitter account

   3. Failing to return books to the parliamentary library on time

   4. Secretly lobbying against a Family First bill which her party was supposed to be lobbying for

8. Bronwyn Bishop resigned as the speaker over what became known as ‘choppergate’. What did she do with a helicopter to lose her job?

   1. Flew to Tony Abbott’s house for a dinner party

   2. Flew her hairdresser to Canberra

   3. Charged the taxpayers for it

   4. Flew to an official government function

9. The former federal industry minister Alan Griffiths resigned after he was accused of funnelling Labor party funds into a mate’s failed business. He was later cleared of any wrongdoing but what was the business?

   1. A kebab shop

   2. A fish and chip shop

   3. A piggery

   4. A sandwich shop

10. The former Labor powerbroker Graham Richardson resigned after he tried to help a cousin-by-marriage, Greg Symons, who was:

    1. In the Liberal party

    2. Accused of fraud in the Marshall Islands

    3. Actually a pretty young woman and not his cousin

    4. A business partner of Eddie Obeid’s

11. The former Labor party leader Mark Latham lost his job in politics for leading the party to an electoral drubbing in 2004, but he also resigned as a columnist for the Australian Financial Review after he did what?

    1. Put John Howard in a headlock

    2. Broke a taxi driver’s arm outside his home after an argument over a fare

    3. Called the Liberal party a “conga line of suck holes”

    4. Allegedly abused several high profile women with a fake Twitter account @RealMarkLatham

12. The former NSW premier Barry O’Farrell resigned after not declaring a gift from lobbyist Nick Di Girolamo in what he described to the corruption watchdog as a “massive memory fail”. What was the gift?

    1. Grange 1969

    2. Grange 1959

    3. Complimentary chips for Barangaroo’s high roller casino

    4. A stubbie holder commemorating Queensland's state of origin win that year

Solutions

1:B, 2:D, 3:A, 4:C, 5:A, 6:B, 7:A, 8:C, 9:D, 10:B, 11:D, 12:B

Scores

1. 12 and above.

   Excellent. So excellent that maybe you are taking too much interest in the scandalous lives of our politicians?

2. 10 and above.

   Excellent. Your knowledge could be applied to crisis management, have you considered a job in Sam Dastyari's office?

3. 7 and above.

   Your knowledge of political scandals is solid, but not comprehensive enough to be suspicious

4. 4 and above.

   You fit comfortably into "mediocre" when it comes to knowledge of our politicians' scandals

5. 3 and above.

   This is a humiliating result, but not as humiliating as some of our politicians' tendencies

6. 2 and above.

   This is a humiliating result, but not as humiliating as some of our politicians' tendencies

7. 0 and above.

   This result is almost as tragic as Harambe's death

8. 1 and above.

   This is a humiliating result, but not as humiliating as some of our politicians' tendencies