What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Christmas Day with my family.
What is your greatest fear?
Confusing priorities.
Which living person do you most admire?
My parents. They have provided endless love and support, and asked for nothing in return, other than my happiness.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Trying to please all the people, all of the time.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Arrogance.
What is your greatest extravagance?
My house (when it's finished).
What makes you depressed?
Most of my record collection.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I can't smile broadly without looking like I'm on heavy medication.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Not answering the phone.
What is your favourite smell?
Dad's ham and lentil broth.
What is your favourite fantasy?
A magazine has already bought the rights to that - sorry.
How did you vote in the last election?
To my eternal shame, I didn't.
How will you vote in the next election?
It's too soon to decide, but the Tories will never get my vote.
Which living person do you most despise and why?
Margaret Thatcher.
Have you ever said 'I love you' and not meant it?
No: if you abuse it, then you weaken the impact when you truly mean it.
What is your greatest regret?
Getting too drunk to make any sense when I first tried to chat to Ricky Tomlinson.
How often do you have sex?
Cheeky! How often do you think? Now, take that number, divide by two, and you're still miles out.
What would your motto be?
'As one door closes, another one may not open for ages, so learn to keep yourself occupied.'
How would you like to die?
Fighting for something I believe in.
How would you like to be remembered?
With a raised glass and a smile.
