FULL TIME: Paris Saint Germain 1-3 Barcelona
And that’s that. Barcelona have one foot in the semi-finals after a masterclass in finishing from Luis Suarez. The Catalans were simply brilliant in attack, though PSG contributed to their own downfall, Edinson Cavani wasteful up front, David Luiz all over the place at the back. Barca didn’t look all that at the back, a weakness that may cost them against better opposition, and PSG will clutch those straws going into the return leg at Camp Nou. But it’s a long shot for them. And what an attack Barca have! Nobody will fancy drawing them in the semi, a stage they’ve surely already reached.
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90 min: Free kick for Barca, 25 yards out. Messi looks for the top left, but Sirigu is behind it all the way.
89 min: Komik kutz in the Barca box as Lavezzi looks to break down the left and shoot. Adriano sticks a boot in. No penalty, though the ball breaks across to Cavani, who must score! But he batters his low shot straight at Mathieu, who was sliding across. Great block, though anything lifted into the air would surely have further reduced Parisian arrears, and raised the chances of an unlikely turnaround!
87 min: Adriano curls a cross into the PSG area from the right. It’s eyebrowed away from Suarez on the penalty spot by Marquinhos. A fine last-ditch intervention. Meanwhile it seems Matt Dony isn’t the only one harbouring regrets this evening. “Where was this PSG team when Chelsea played ‘em?” wonders Evereste, in an email headed “Jose weeps”, which he may well be doing.
85 min: “Isn’t this about the time where you should post that clip of Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes for ten minutes?” wonders JR in Illinois. Heh. Though to be fair, he’s got a contender in haplessness now after that farce down the other end. And Suarez dribbles into the left-hand side of the box here, and looks for Messi in the middle, but his low cross is cut out by Luiz, who read that very well.
GOAL! PSG 1-3 Barcelona (Mathieu 82 og)
The ball drops to van der Wiel on the right-hand corner of the Barca box. He takes a first-time lash across the face of goal. Mathieu swings a leg to clear, but only slices it backwards and into the top right, ter Stegen totally wrong-footed. Uefa have given that to van der Wiel, but come on, that might have been technically on target but was never going in before Mathieu got involved. It is what it is.
80 min: And this tie is already over. Adriano comes on for Montoya. “And Iago Aspas,” blubs Matt Dony.
GOAL! PSG 0-3 Barcelona (Suarez 79)
Suarez is also one of the best players in the world. He’s sprung clear down the inside-left channel, PSG’s defence all over the shop. Luiz comes across to cover, and is nutmegged for his trouble. Suarez strides towards the area, and lashes a shot of extreme violence into the top-right corner of the net. That’s an exquisite finish from a rare talent!
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77 min: Messi begins with the party tricks in the midfield. A juggle and a backflicked pass, followed by a whipped ball down the right wing which Suarez very nearly latches onto. Marquinhos gets in the way just before Suarez breaks clear into the area, and receives a petulant shove in the back for his trouble. That’s Suarez for you, the irritant supreme.
75 min: Mathieu comes on for Rakitic. His first act is to hack clear with purpose as the superlative Matuidi reaches the byline down the left and pulls one back, the pass intended for Pastore. Not quite. It’s all a bit desperate for the home side right now.
73 min: Barca are just knocking it around to waste time. A lot of whistling from the home crowd. Then Messi embarks on a Maradonaesque gambol down the inside-right channel. After several feints and shimmies, at high speed, he lashes a wild effort into the stand behind the goal while looking for the top left. What a solo effort that would have been!
71 min: Suarez and Messi take turns to probe an increasingly ragged and porous PSG back line. This could turn ugly for the home side, whose chances of a place in the semis already looks something of a pipe dream. “Yeah, so Suarez might be able to do that, but hey, Liverpool still have Borini,” sobs Matt Dony, in a heartbreaking email which carries the subject heading “I miss him”.
69 min: Cavani has been terrible all evening, but quality will always out, and this is brilliant. A corner for PSG down the left. The home side really need something. The corner’s half cleared, but Cavani, to the left of the D and chasing after the ball, lashes a shot on the turn. It’s going into the bottom left, a vicious smack, but ter Stegen turns it round the post brilliantly. So unlucky. The second set piece is a non-event.
WHAT A GOAL! PSG 0-2 Barcelona (Suarez 67)
Pique strides through the centre circle and slips the ball wide for Xavi, who slides the ball down the wing for Suarez. Suarez cuts inside and dribbles into the box, turning Luiz inside out, brushing past Marquinhos, holding off Maxwell - he seemed to do all of those things at once - and eventually flicking a powerful poke into the bottom right past Sirigu. That’s a stunning solo goal, even if Luiz’s defending wasn’t exactly out of the top drawer.
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66 min: Lucas comes on for Rabiot.
64 min: Maxwell and Matuidi - the latter really is an excellent player - very nearly one-two Barca open down the left wing. The ball’s rolled inside to the increasingly abject Cavani, who allows the ball to clank off his shin. An ugly end to a pretty move. The home fans give their out-of-sorts striker the bird.
62 min: Cavani stands on Busquets’ sliding leg. Mark Clattenburg gives the free kick to Cavani. A lot of gesticulation, and swearing, involving variations on the words Eff and Cee, in several languages. This is all a bit scrappy right now, no real shape to the game.
60 min: Corner for Barca. Xavi takes. Neymar, with a chance to Mark Hughes a scissor kick from the penalty spot, fails to connect. Rakitic looks to rake one goalwards from the edge of the D, but he doesn’t meet the ball sweetly either. PSG living a bit dangerously there.
58 min: “Does Cavani actually know the offside law?” wonders Matt Dony. “Should someone pop out to have a quick word with him?” It’s a perfectly timed email, because here he is, chasing after a long hoof down the middle. Clear on the edge of the Barca box, he then stops, convinced he’s offside. But the flag doesn’t go up! Can you hear the PSG fans, not particularly happy with their man it must be said, responding to that? Sure you can.
56 min: Jordi Alba sweeps a ball down the left for Neymar, who turns a low ball into the middle for Suarez. But just as the striker cocks his leg, preparing to shoot, in slides Cabaye. That’s a brilliant challenge, not least because a mistimed effort would have seen the player concede a penalty and, having been booked, get his marching orders.
54 min: Messi is booked for a petulant stamp on Marquinhos’ foot, having lost control of the ball as he looked to scamper down the right wing, the defender calmly clearing the danger. That’s a really poor challenge, and you’ll have seen red cards for those in the past. I suppose Messi’s built up quite a bit of moral credit over the years, getting kicked hither and yon, but still. Were that Luis Suarez...
53 min: Xavi comes on in Iniesta’s wake. Not a bad sub, huh?
52 min: Pastore robs Iniesta on the right and slips the ball inside for Rabiot, who batters a low shot straight at goal from 25 yards. That’s straight at ter Stegen, and swallowed up by the keeper. PSG have their tails up right now. But their momentum is checked as Iniesta is down injured, having taken an accidental knee in the back there. He’s not getting up again tonight. He’s bundled onto a stretcher, and looks in very real pain, holding his coccyx as he’s carted off.
49 min: Pastore, down the inside-left channel, drops a shoulder inside and lashes a low shot towards the bottom right. It’s an ugly bouncer, and causes ter Stegen all manner of problems, but the keeper gets down to parry clear. Barca hack the loose ball away before a blue shirt can close in.
48 min: And this is better from Cavani, who powers down the right and gets Barca on the back foot with his determined running. The ball’s shuttled inside, where Matuidi slips a low pass through the centre, nearly springing Pastore clear. But Pastore allows the ball to stick between his legs, and the danger is gone. That’s excited the crowd, PSG’s first job done.
46 min: Suarez very nearly turns van der Wiel inside out, twisting down the left, but the right-back does marvellously well to recover from the flat spin he’s been put in. He keeps close enough to Suarez, even when dizzy and confused, and eventually recovers to steal the ball, just as the Barca striker was threatening to break clear into the box.
And we’re off again! Barca get the ball rolling for the second half. “Charles Antaki’s query about the language of obscenity (31 min) reminds me of an instance where Nani, in perhaps his first game for United, blasted a great chance over the bar from 20 yards out,” writes Peter McMurry. “Just as the (understated English) announcer said ‘ooh, he’ll be disappointed he didn’t do better there’, the screen showed a slow motion replay of Nani looking to the skies and screaming two unmistakable words, the first of which was ‘mother’. After an awkward moment the announcer said, ‘well...good to see - only been in the country a week and he’s learning English’. And the colour man replied: ‘Yes, I suspect his teammates will have taught him that one.’ ”
A stretch of the legs at half time:
It’s the impressionist artist Edgar Degas, sauntering around Paris in 1915, two years before his death, and still with more purpose than Edinson Cavani. Here’s one of his, a picture of a bloke in a hat with two kids, a doggie, and a fag on. I’ll admit I’m no Jonathan Jones, but I know what I like and I like what I see, and what I like and see is ART.
Half-time: PSG 0-1 Barcelona
And that’s that for the first half. Barca were in total control as they took the lead, but allowed the hosts to come back into it a little, though all of the Parisian attacks were overly hectic and ter Stegen has yet to be forced into action. Edinson Cavani wants to spend the half-time interval taking a long look at himself, and thinking on. He’s better than this.
45 min +1: PSG on the attack, as they look to salvage something from the half. Matuidi wins a corner down the left. The ball’s cleared out to the right, where Cabaye picks up possession. He whips a gorgeous, dangerous cross to the far post, but Cavani, who has been piss-poor in this first half, bursts clear of the Barca back line way too early. He’s a country mile offside, and then adds insult to injury by attempting an Ibrahimovic-esque bicycle kick into the net from a tight angle. He hoicks it miles wide left and high into the stand. Very poor.
43 min: Luiz faffs around chasing a ball down the Barca left. He’s in total control, but allows Suarez to barge him off the ball and make into the box! Suarez looks to curl one into the top right, but Sirigu has been concentrating and, backtracking furiously, plucks the effort out of the sky. But as he falls, he crumps his left shoulder. He’s down for a while and requires treatment, but will keep going until the break at least.
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40 min: The Parc des Princes is, collectively, a wee bit depressed right now. Barcelona are containing the home side comfortably. “Two multimillion euro clubs with pressure to go on and win the tournament. Two managers under pressure needing to prove that they are good enough for another season. One manager sitting at home waiting to see where he will be in August with the self confidence of being a world beater. What do you think is going through the mind of Sam Allardyce right now?” Hot football satire, ladies and gentlemen, from Andy Gordon. He’s here all week. Try the bratwurst.
37 min: Cabaye, not totally in control of himself, flies into Iniesta. Clank. Ooyah. Oof. Yellow card, and the PSG midfielder wears the contrite look of someone who realises that could have been red on another day. It didn’t look so much malicious as hideously mistimed, which might have saved him.
36 min: Barca go up the other end, their first sortie for a while. Suarez threads a diagonal pass from the left of the D towards a sea of neon yellow in the right of the box, but none of his team-mates can latch onto it.
35 min: PSG are getting back into the game, though. A ball whipped in from the left wing by Matuidi, and this is much better from Cavani, a twist of the body and a high sidefoot aimed for the top-left corner. He does well to meet the ball at all, but it doesn’t trouble ter Stegen, who gathers.
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33 min: Pique is booked for an old-fashioned palm-off in Matuidi’s chest, as the PSG midfielder threatened to break clear down the left channel. Free kick, too. It’s swung into the area by van der Wiel, and suddenly Cavani is clear on the penalty spot! But oh! He’s offside! And oh! His diving header is miles wide left. What a dreadful header. Keith Houchen, who played most of his career at Hartlepool, Leyton Orient and York, would have buried that.
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31 min: Mascherano required some attention after that challenge, but he’s back on and presumably OK. “When Cavani missed that chance, the camera caught Blanc screaming out what was clearly a one-syllable Anglo-Saxon word,” reports Charles Antaki. “Has English taken over the language of international obscenity as well as everything else?”
28 min: Barcelona certainly don’t look very good at the back. From a Barca corner, PSG break upfield down the left through Matuidi. He slips the ball on for Lavezzi, who cuts inside a backtracking, out-of-position Jordi Alba. He whips a low pass into the middle for Cavani, who is free in acres! But the striker’s touch is heavy, allowing Mascherano to block with a majestic slide tackle, just as Cavani tries to redeem the situation with a toe-poke towards Pastore to his left. What a chance for PSG to level after a lightning-fast break. They ballsed up in widescreen fashion. Cavani deserves a clip round the lug for that.
27 min: Luiz goes long, hoofing one straight down the middle in the 1980s Live On ITV Every Sunday style. He nearly releases Cavani, too, with Pique and Mascherano both snoozing, but the striker’s a yard offside.
25 min: Pique strides down the inside-right channel then, on the halfway line, cuts inside and sprays a low ball through the centre circle for Suarez. He’s upended, but manages to pivot the ball onwards to Neymar nonetheless. Neymar makes off for the area, twists this way and that, and attempts a wrong-footing cheeky prod into the bottom left, when everyone was expecting a lash into the right-hand side of goal. Sirigu is wise to his tricks, though, and smothers the shot before it can creep into the corner.
23 min: Rakitic gives the ball away in the centre circle, and with it offers PSG a little hope. Four blue shirts flood forward, and the ball’s swung wide right to Lavezzi, who with team-mates nearby and Barca light at the back, hoofs an aimless cross into the area. It’s claimed with a yawn by ter Stegen. Not great by Lavezzi, but the counter attack will give the home side a little succour, momentary relief from what was fast becoming relentless Barca pressure.
21 min: And here, to loud roars - because goodness knows PSG need something to cheer right now - is Luiz.
20 min: Thiago Silva has walked off, presumably injured rather than fed up. No replacement on yet, though David Luiz is preparing to play. This will test his dodgy hamstring.
GOAL! PSG 0-1 Barcelona (Neymar 18)
This was simple, and it had been coming. PSG lose the ball in the midfield, and Barca spring up the other end on the counter. Iniesta rolls the ball inside from the left to Messi, who slips it down the left channel for Neymar. The Brazilian opens his body and guides an unstoppable shot into the bottom right.
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16 min: Barca are beginning to boss this. Mascherano bursts down the inside-left channel and sets up Neymar, but the Brazilian can’t get a shot away. Maxwell tries to clear, but only succeeds in hoicking the ball miles into the sky. Very many seconds later, a snow-covered ball drops into the PSG area, and ends up at Neymar’s feet. The Brazilian gets a shot away this time, though his effort, presumably an attempt to curl one into the top-right corner from 12 yards out, is high and wide.
14 min: ... Barca come within an inch of scoring. Barca beat PSG to the cleared ball, and recycle it down the left. Suarez, ever intelligent, shimmies a little inside from the wing, then rakes a pass inside for Messi, on the edge of the D. Messi takes a touch inside, and curl-hammers a shot onto the left-hand post, Sirigu beaten all ends up. What an effort that was! Barcelona so close to a precious away goal.
13 min: Jordi Alba pitching-wedges a pass down the left. Thiago Silva should have it covered, but takes a spectacular fresh-air swipe at it. Neymar nicks in ahead, but his low cross is hacked clear. But then ...
10 min: Neymar, on the left-hand corner of the PSG box, slides the ball inside for Messi, who plays a first-time flick down the channel for Jordi Alba. For a second the left-back is clear in the area, but his touch isn’t sure, and the ball cannons off his peg for a goal kick. That was a lovely move too, with the home side looking none too secure. This has been a very pretty spectacle so far. Even the few gung-ho challenges have had a certain old-school charm.
8 min: Space for Maxwell down the left. He shuttles the ball further forward to Matuidi on the overlap. A brilliant move, and a brilliant low cross to the near post, where Pastore, on the left-hand corner of the six-yard box, simply has to get a shot on target. But his attempt to sweep home is an abject shank, which balloons out of play, apologetically, to the left of goal. What a chance. Barcelona were ripped apart there.
5 min: Neymar jigs down the left and slips a low ball into the box for Messi. It doesn’t reach its intended target, but the clearance by Thiago Silva is only knocked back out to the Barca left, where Jordi Alba looks to take a touch and break back into the PSG box. He does that, but it’s a heavy touch, and the ball’s going out for a goal kick. So, having just run past Marquinhos, he decides to fall over, looking for a penalty. It’s a dismal dive, and he’s fortunate not to see yellow for that. He should be punished for having the brass neck to look extremely affronted by not getting the penalty, but we go on.
3 min: Rabiot breaks through a couple of challenges down the Paris left and for a second another break looks on. But he doesn’t spot Pastore on the wing, or Cabaye in close attendance, and Barca nick the ball off him. Quite a few robust challenges, the sort that normally earn a whistle in Europe, have been waved on already. Premier League referee, you see.
And we’re off! The hosts get the ball rolling. Parc des Princes is bouncing. PSG stroke it around the back awhile, but never look in total control of it. The ball’s lost and Messi and Iniesta nearly unlock PSG down the left. And then PSG zip off up the other end, but Lavezzi clunks a heavy pass down the inside-right channel and the chance of a break is gone. A nice open start, though.
The teams are out! PSG take to the field in their dark-blue shirts with red-and-white flash, a gorgeous colour scheme far too close to Barcelona’s famous get-up, so the four-time European champions are in their highly unflattering third choice of neon yellow. The work of Handel is desecrated over the PA system, as is Uefa tradition. Hands are shaken, photos are taken, and we’ll be off in a minute or two!
Both teams are on something of a roll, so something’s got to give this evening. Barcelona have won 30 of their last 34 matches in all competitions, though a nine-game winning streak came to an end with a 2-2 draw at Sevilla last weekend. The hosts meanwhile are only three games into their current winning run, but just won the French League Cup by beating Bastia 4-0, are unbeaten in 24 home matches, and haven’t lost at home in Europe for 33 games, a run that dates back to a 4-2 defeat by Hapoel Tel Aviv in the 2006/07 Uefa Cup. “If I were a PSG supporter I wouldn’t fret over David Luiz’s absence from the starting eleven,” opines Peter Oh. “It would be counterproductive and embarrassing to have him tearfully and lip-tremblingly clutch a Neymar jersey during the Champions League anthem.”
PSG - without aforementioned scamps Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Marco Verratti - must also do without Serge Aurier. The defender is starting a three-game ban for his Facebook critique of referee Bjorn Kuipers, who rather unfairly sent off Zlatan at Stamford Bridge. Social media really is ruining everything, isn’t it. Blaise Matuidi - who in a right and just world would go by the nickname Boylan - and Gregory van der Wiel are both a booking away from a ban. Barca meanwhile are without Dani Alves, who is suspended.
The teams
Paris Saint Germain: Sirigu, van der Wiel, Thiago Silva, Marquinhos, Maxwell, Rabiot, Cabaye, Matuidi, Lavezzi, Cavani, Pastore.
Subs: Douchez, Camara, Lucas Moura, Bahebeck, Digne, Luiz, Kimpembe.
Barcelona: ter Stegen, Montoya, Pique, Mascherano, Jordi Alba, Rakitic, Busquets, Iniesta, Messi, Suarez, Neymar.
Subs: Bravo, Xavi, Pedro, Rafinha, Bartra, Adriano, Mathieu.
Referee: Mark Clattenburg (Tyne & Wear)
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Chelsea Manchester City Barcelona are the second favourites for this year’s Champions League. With Lionel Messi, Neymar and Luis Suarez weaving rococo patterns up front, a fifth European Cup is a distinct possibility. But advancement to the semi-finals this season is far from a nailed-on guarantee. For in Paris St Germain they’re faced with ... well, not a bogey team, exactly. But the Catalan giants’ record against the nouveau-riche Parisians isn’t particularly great.
The Blaugrana have only beaten Les Rouge-et-Bleu twice in seven competitive meetings. Their first victory came in the 1997 Cup Winners Cup final, Ronaldo scoring the only goal. The second and last came at Camp Nou the December just gone, a 3-1 win in the group stages, Messi, Neymar and Suarez wiping out Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s early opener.
Barca did get past PSG in last year’s quarters, but only on away goals after a couple of draws. PSG beat Barca in the 1994/95 quarters, Rai and Vincent Guerin scoring in the last 18 minutes at the Parc des Princes to guide their side through. And with relevance the watchword, David Luiz, Marco Verratti and Blaise Matuidi were the heroes of a 3-2 group win in Paris last September.
Ibrahimovic and Verratti are suspended tonight, the naughty pups, while Barca ... well, Barca have that trio up front. The visitors are expected to prevail. But then that’s what everyone thought about Chelsea, too, and look what happened there. This promises to be a fascinating duel, between two teams going great guns in their respective domestic leagues. And the domestic cups. It’s on! Il est sur le point d’arriver!
Kick off: 7.45pm BST, 8.45pm in Paris and Catalunya.
