The proud mum of an "LGBT family" said she only realised she was gay after her husband came out as trans.
Jenni Barrett, 37, remains happily married to her partner Sarah who she knew as Sean when they tied the knot 15 years ago.
Her partner, who was assigned male at birth, came out as trans in 2016 prompting Jenni to realise she was gay.
The couple, from Phoenix in Arizona, remain devoted to their children Morgan, 13, and Toby, 11, and want to show others that relationships can "survive a transition.
Jenni said: "Sarah rolled over one evening in bed in 2016 and told me ‘I really need to talk to you, I think I’m trans.'
“I’d come to realise why I’d always been so drawn to her. It was because of who she was on the inside, a woman, and not her shell.
"I turned around and said 'that's okay I think I'm gay.'"
The pair, who are both teachers, fell head over heels in love after they met at a friend's house party in March 2004 and have been inseparable ever since.
Jenni said: “We met through a friend at Arizona State University where we were training to be teachers.
“Sarah, who went by Sean back then, had a crush on me straight away but unfortunately I was taken.
“Three years later, when he found out I’d broken up with my ex, he got our friend to throw a house party so we could meet."
After breaking up for the summer holidays in 2004, the pair split their time between their family homes and Sarah popped the question two months later.
Jenni said: “Sarah took me to a pretty vantage point overlooking Mount Mingus in the Black Hills of Yavapai County – a large mountain range in central Arizona.
“We had a picnic, with cheese and wine, and when I turned back from admiring the view, there was a red rose with an engagement ring on it.”
The couple moved in together and went on to tie the knot in December 2005.
At the time, Jenni knew nothing about her partner’s gender confusion but now says her attitude to the wedding preparations should have been a sign.
She said: “I didn’t clock it at the time but looking back at the wedding, Sarah was a bit of a bridezilla."
The couple’s family felt complete after the birth of their two sons but Jenni finds it sad in hindsight that Sarah was suppressing who she was.
She said: “I’ve since learnt that Sarah has always had a strong desire to wear women’s clothing but that she felt ashamed.
“She would try on her mum’s bikini or her sister’s clothes, but always in secret. After she came to college, she suppressed those desires.”
After the birth of Toby, Jenni started to notice Sarah's shopping habits.
She added: " Sarah would come home with a pair of silk pyjamas, clearly for women, and ask if it was weird if she wore them.
“She would wear a nightie to bed and on date nights she’d be wearing countless layers of clothes with a bra underneath so no one could see.
“I didn’t say anything though. It was as if we’d both silently agreed not to discuss it. Maybe it was some sort of survival method, who knows?”
Within a couple of years, Sarah had amassed an entire second wardrobe of women’s clothing.
Jenni said: “For a long time, she pretended all the clothes were for me.
“We look back and laugh about it now. It was like we both just agreed to pretend it didn’t exist.”
In 2012, Sarah started wearing heels and a skirt when she began teaching remotely online, thinking her wife would not notice.
Jenni said: “People never believe it but I can honestly say that I never felt any betrayal or sense of being lied to.
"I guess by that point in our relationship, I already knew that Sarah was trans."
She added: "I did the grieving for my husband in private way before Sarah came out.
“I made the decision to persevere and be with Sarah regardless. She’s my soulmate."
Suspecting their son Morgan might be gay gave Sarah the courage to address her own demons.
Jenni said: "As he started secondary school in 2016, Sarah and I discussed how we wanted him to be comfortable enough to come out as gay and be his true, authentic self.
“That’s what drove Sarah to hold up a mirror to herself and come out as trans.
“If she couldn’t be honest with Morgan, how could she expect him to be honest with himself?”
Vowing to stay together, the couple spoke to their sons in 2016 and began counselling and Sarah was given the green light to start transitioning the following year.
After a year of hormone therapy, Sarah had a breast augmentation in October 2018.
She intended to complete her transition with gender confirmation surgery, when the testes and penis are removed to create a vagina, in June this year.
But her operation has been pushed back due to the coronavirus pandemic.
Jenni said: " She’s very eager to get it done, but Covid-19 has messed that up.
“I’m looking forward to it too. I don’t think it’s going to change anything for us – even in the bedroom.
“Since Sarah came out we have been closer than ever – in all ways – and when we are being intimate, we act as if that part of her isn’t there.
"We're so proud of our LGBT family. Now I hope we can show other people that it is possible to weather the storm."
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