Prince William is looking hot! Yinka Ilori’s M&S totes are not — this week's Barometer

Going up!

Prince William’s beard

(Kath Flannery/DC Thomson/PA Wire)

His designer stubble was dodgy, but now Prince Will has hit beard length he looks as fit as he has done since the St Andrews days. Or is it just us?

Punjabi margaritas

(Ambassadors Clubhouse)

Forget picantes. Mayfair’s new Ambassadors Clubhouse serves its margs with exotic Northern Indian fruits and chaat masala salts. Three, please.

Olympian personal trainers

Your Third Space instructor may not cut it. We have our eye on Team GB swimmer Jacob Peters, who is offering up one-on-one services to those in need.

The coat in The Substance

(MUBI)

Demi Moore’s egg-yolk yellow coat in the new body horror? Epic. Deserves its own Oscar. Autumnal overcoat heaven. Elisabeth Sparkle goes straight on the moodboard.

Going down...

Yinka Ilori’s M&S tote bags

(M&S)

It was fabulous, colourful, joyful in summer. Now, it’s too ubiquitous; very Midlands. Consider one of Ilori’s bright new North Face fleeces instead.

Spray deodorant

(AKT)

Chemical car crash. The chic set now like natural balms from AKT London, packaged in desperately smart tubes and developed for West End performers (so they actually work).

Laptop holders in loos

(PA Wire)

Grotesque. TikTok have these in their London HQ. Leave your laptops at your desks, guys! Or consider buying a bag.

Two-third pints

(PA Archive)

An idea being floated for its health benefits by Cambridge scientists. Hmm. They’d do well to remember Francis Crick announced the structure of DNA in a pub around the corner from King’s College.