Premier League teams in the red

It's up to Nick Tumman to kick off this week's efforts. 'Following their eviction from "The Theatre of Dreams", United staff set off on foot for Manchester, in the vain hope of following Carlos Tevez ...'
Photograph: Public domain

'Liverpool's debt forces them to accept scaled-down plans for their new stadium,' reveals Laurence Jones
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'The worrying thing is, this isn’t too far from the truth,' says a rather gloomy Adam Michie
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Rayner Simpson reckons Sir Alex is partial to a bit of daytime TV. 'During an ad break in Jeremy Kyle, the Manchester United boss suddenly wonders if anyone will miss the Club World Cup trophy that’s been cluttering up his living room'
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Some breaking news from Jason Froggett as details of the Glazer’s fire sale emerge ...
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'I tried to think of something hilarious to do but then I realised they'd done all the comedy for me,' parps John Allen
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This from David Mills: 'My favourite team in the red, promoting the concept of borrowing beyond your means'
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John O'Reilly couldn't decide whether Cristiano Ronaldo looked more fetching in red ...
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... or in a more flowery number
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Al Balmer's also been dithering a bit, offering no less than three captions. Take your pick from:
'What shall we sell first?'
or 'We'd better take steak off the menu'
or 'Servicing that loan has given me a right thirst'
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Al's second effort though needs no explanation
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And here's some more Portsmouth-bashing: 'Pompey's desperate struggle for players left them with few options,' titters Will Wilson
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'Manchester United and Liverpool finally find an investor willing to help them out,' chortles Bert Ayers
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And here's Bert's second offering: 'First Fernando was holding the sign, but Rafa was worried it would give everyone the wrong impression'
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'Mancini hammers Benítez, Ferguson and Grant in the annual Premier League Monopoly Tournament,' chirps Mike Petchey
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'The boy didn't want to go, but we felt their offer was too good to turn down,' parps Phil Brown. Yes it took us a while to spot Wayne Rooney in the window too ...
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Tom Nycz-Losi ends things on a political note: 'Personally I don't see what the issue is. Come May and it's all going to be OK ...'
Photograph: Public domain