Happy with all that, then?
Ecstatic? Fuming? Shrugging it all off and getting back to the very, very serious business of transfer rumours?
Entertaining stuff in the Premier League today, whichever way you slice it. Bournemouth needed something from West Ham and got it in a manner that, despite the hosts’ comeback, suggests that early win at Arsenal for Bilic’s side was a rather false result. Sunderland will be relieved to have come back for a point against Swansea; Norwich could not put Stoke away but will be pleased with their performance, just as Stoke will be happy with Xherdan Shaqiri’s debut assist; Palace left it late against Villa but keep their upwards momentum going; neither Leicester not Spurs will be too angry with their point, although the latter are yet to win a game.
There will be match reports and much, much more coming your way on this site before long. Keep your eyes peeled – and have a great Saturday evening.
Late winner for Charlton against Hull! Johann Gudmundsson in what, for reasons I’m not apprised of, is the 98th minute of stoppage time.
Full-time: Leicester 1-1 Tottenham
Two late goals, another quite reasonable result
Last-gasp equaliser by Fulham – Cauley Woodrow makes it 1-1 against Huddersfield.
Full-time: West Ham 3-4 Bournemouth
Some late pressure from the home side....but Bournemouth are off the mark and Callum Wilson has a hat-trick!
Ipswich will stay top of the Championship – they have beaten Preston 2-1 at Deepdale.
Portsmouth, now down to 10 men, have equalised against Morecambe! It’s 3-3, from 0-3 down! Jayden Stockley scores.
Full-time: Crystal Palace 2-1 Aston Villa
Super result from the hosts, and a great impact from Sako!
Late equaliser for Bolton against Forest – Stephen Dobbie.
Full-time: Sunderland 1-1 Swansea
As per the last one, really. A pretty inoffensive result, and Sunderland certainly couldn’t afford to lose.
Full-time: Norwich 1-1 Stoke
Moderate satisfaction for both, but Jack Butland had a brilliant game there to deny the hosts.
From Cameron Yule: “Enjoying the MBM hugely, and really looking forward to West Ham-Bournemouth on MOTD now. I don’twish to be one of those typical (1,057?) Guardian pedants, but in the description of the Palace own goal,you said that Souare was making his debut, when he’s been playing at left back for them since January. He also possesses the worst hair in the Premier League.”
Fair points Cameron – I’d meant to say it was Traore making his debut!
Hull have equalised late on at Charlton! A Nick Pope error has been gobbled up by the visitors’ Abel Hernandez.
Tranmere have fallen a long way, haven’t they? They’re 2-0 down at home to Boreham Wood in the Conference.
A Charlie Austin penalty has probably wrapped things up for QPR against Rotherham. It’s 4-2.
Goal! Crystal Palace 2-1 Aston Villa (Sako 87)
It’s Bacary Sako! Error from the Villa left-back Jordan Amavi, who passes straight to Scott Dann. He supplies Sako, who has a wonderful left foot and proves it with what it probably the winner! Super finish!
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Surely not? Rotherham have scored another one at QPR, it’s 3-2 there. And Fleetwood are 4-0 up on Colchester, while Crawley lead 3-0 at Cambridge.
Leicester almost win it against Spurs – Wes Morgan planting a header at Hugo Lloris from a Mahrez cross.
Wigan are two down at Gillingham in League One – Bradley Dack has scored two, his second from the spot.
Jack Butland has saved Stoke again – two big saves in a row, the second another superb stop from Jerome! Norwich have done enough to win most games but it’s still 1-1....they’ll need to put matches like this to bed if they’re to stay up with any comfort.
Goal! West Ham 3-4 Bournemouth (Maiga 82)
Modibo Maiga has scored, which tells you how odd this match has been. Suspect we’re in for more like this from both of these teams.
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Nottingham Forest are ahead at Bolton – a 25-yarder from David Vaughan!
A belter, too, at Gresty Road, where Bradden Inman has scored a superb equaliser for Crewe against Bury. 3-3 there.
Goal! Leicester 1-1 Tottenham (Mahrez 82)
That didn’t last long at all! A lovely finish from the in-form Algerian winger – this game has suddenly come to life!
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Goal and red card! West Ham 2-4 Bournemouth (Wilson pen 79; Jenkinson sent off)
Hat-trick for Wilson from the spot after a foul from the right-back, who was dismissed! That surely settles that.
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Goal! Leicester 0-1 Tottenham (Alli
A cross from Nacer Chadli, a very close-range finish from the delightfully talented young midfielder Dele – Spurs have broken the deadlock at the King Power!
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Goal! Crystal Palace 1-1 Aston Villa (Souare o.g. 77)
Well, well! That wasn’t on the cards, but it’s an own goal by Pape Souare, who has deflected a Traore effort past his own ‘keeper!
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Bakary Sako has just come close to a second for a now-rampant Crystal Palace – Brad Guzan having to bat his fierce shot away.
Costel Pantilimon has just denied Gomis a certain goal, saving brilliantly after the striker attacked a Montero cross. Can anybody find a winner there?
Goal! Crystal Palace 1-0 Aston Villa (Dann 71)
This one counts! A superb leap and header from Scott Dann, powering onto a Jason Puncheon corner!
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Now 3-0 to Hearts – Juanma. And Rotherham, who went 3-0 down at QPR through a Charlie Austin goal, have pulled one back through Jonson Clarke-Harris. Marc McNulty has made it Sheffield United 2-0 Blackpool and Yeovil, who you’ll remember quickly went two down at home to Luton, now lead 3-2.
Adama Traore is coming on at Selhurst Park to make his Aston Villa debut....
Hearts are going back on top in Scotland – Sam Nicholson has made it 2-0 against Partick.
Nahki Wells has put Huddersfield 1-0 up at Fulham. And Portsmouth, who were 3-0 down to Morecambe at home, have pulled it all the way back to 3-2 – both goals from Gary Roberts.
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Goal! West Ham 2-3 Bournemouth (Pugh 66)
Well, well.....poor defending from the Hammers, as Pugh glides past Carl Jenkinson and bends his finish into the corner! What a game this is.
Ipswich lead again at Preston in the Championship – it’s Ryan Fraser with a stunner! 2-1 there.
Leyton Orient are back in front at Newport, 3-2, through Dean Cox.
Goal! Sunderland 1-1 Swansea (Defoe 62)
Even this early in the season, that could be a big one for Sunderland from the veteran striker. Swansea might pay for missing chances to add to their lead....
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Drama at Crystal Palace! The home side thought they had taken the lead when Dwight Gayle’s shot deflected in off James McArthur, who was clearly offside – something that the referee and linesman hadn’t noticed! But the fourth official appears to have got involved and, at length, the goal has been disallowed!
Andre Ayew has skewed a header wide at Sunderland, who are still in the game. And Jack Butland has saved spectacularly from Nathan Redmond at Norwich, tipping a rasping drive wide of the post.
West Ham are now throwing the kitchen sink at Bournemouth, who you will remember could have been four up at the break. In League One, Bury are 3-2 up at Crewe and Billy Sharp has put Sheffield United 1-0 up against stability’s Blackpool.
Stuart Beavon has put Burton 2-0 up against Peterborough – and Jacob Murphy has netted a screamer to put Coventry back in it against Walsall. 2-1 there.
Shaqiri has shot just over for Stoke in what is developing into a real ding-dong at Carrow Road.
The highly-rated Tom Bradshaw has put Walsall 2-0 up against Coventry. And Charlton lead Hull in the Championship – the towering striker Simon Makienok scoring there.
Goal! West Ham 2-2 Bournemouth (Kouyate 53)
It’s Kouyate completing the turnaround for West Ham, who had previously brought on Matt Jarvis for Kevin Nolan. Kouyate converts a rebound from Artur Boruc – who’s booing now?
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Gary Madine has missed a penalty for shot-shy Bolton against Nottingham Forest – still goalless in that Championship meeting.
Swansea hit the post at Sunderland! Ayew leaps to head a Shelvey cross and it hits the inside of the frame!
Fleetwood 3-0 Colchester in League One – Jamie Proctor seems to have put that to bed.
Chery has scored again for QPR against Rotherham – they’re 2-0 up. And at Norwich, the home side really should be ahead now: Cameron Jerome shot wide when one-on-one and Wes Hoolaham has missed a free header.
Goal! West Ham 1-2 Bournemouth (Noble 48pen)
Are West Ham about to get out of jail?
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Penalty to West Ham!
Josh King on Mark Noble....it’s soft....
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Crawley are 2-0 up at Cambridge – Roarie Deacon with his second of the game.
“It means “nothing” in Yiddish,” explains Eric.
In Germany, it’s now Hoffenheim 1-1 Bayern Munich, but the home team have missed a penalty and Bayern’s Jerome Boateng has been sent off.
Spurs had 72% possession in the first half at Leicester. Extrapolate from that – or be sensible and don’t.
Eric Breitman is watching Leicester v Spurs (MBM here) in NYC: “I am amazed at how turgid Spurs’ play is. No flow, no movement. As we say in NY, bubkes.”
You say what?
Dwight Gayle and Jordon Mutch look like they may be coming on for #cpfc. Big 45 minutes for the former...
— Ed Aarons (@ed_aarons) August 22, 2015
Quite. Is Dwight Gayle the new Andre Gray or the old Andre Gray?
Peeeeeeeep (make it a long peeeeeeep though)
Second halves will be getting underway between now and, let’s say, 4.05pm.
If you’re at a game (and have 3G/4G/whatever, of course), do write in and tell us how it’s been going.
Brighton are a goal up in that delayed game with Blackburn – Kazenga Lua Lua for Chris Hughton’s in-form side.
Premier League half-times
- Crystal Palace 0-0 Aston Villa
- Leicester 0-0 Spurs
- West Ham 0-2 Bournemouth
- Norwich 1-1 Stoke
- Sunderland 0-1 Swansea
Goal! Sunderland 0-1 Swansea (Gomis 45+3)
It gets worse for Sunderland – Andre Ayew to Bafetimbi Gomis, who sweeps home for the Swans on the stroke of half time!
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Simon McMahon has an update from Scotland: “After a young Dundee United side were beaten by the champions at Tannadice in the early kick-off, the fact that Kilmarnock are 4-0 down at home to Ross County has cheered me up a bit. Not because I’ve anything against Kilmarnock, just because someone has made a worse start than us. In other news, Hamilton lead Inverness 1-0, Hearts are ahead by the same score against Partick, and it’s 0-0 between Aberdeen and Dundee. In the Scottish championship Falkirk are ahead at Livingston and in Scottish League One the ‘Blue Brazil’, aka Cowdenbeath, lead Albion Rovers 1-0.”
Newport have scored two very quick goals to level things against Leyton Orient! Scott Boden and Mark Byrne within a minute or so of one another – 2-2.
Should Leicester have had a penalty against Spurs when Mahrez went down in the box? They wanted one, but didn’t get it.
League One leaders Coventry are a goal behind at Walsall now – Anthony Forde doing the honours.
QPR lead Rotherham in the Championship, Charlie Austin assisting Tjaronn Chery. 1-0.
32: West Ham are all over the place. Randolph blocks one low cross, then King blazes Francis' centre over the crossbar [0-2] #WHUBOU
— West Ham United FC (@whufc_official) August 22, 2015
Refreshing honesty.
And Morecambe are three up at Portsmouth! Andrew Fleming there. Stephen Arthurworrey has pulled one back for Yeovil against Luton. More spectacularly, in Scotland Ross County are already 4-0 up at Kilmarnock!
Preston have pegged Ipswich back at Deepdale, and the goal is well deserved. Daniel Johnson is the scorer.
Fleetwood are two up against Colchester in League One. Goals coming in bursts today. At Sunderland Lukasz Fabianski has just saved a Danny Graham overhead kick....
A substitution at West Ham – James Tomkins on for Pedro Obiang, which seems a strange one and doesn’t appear injury-related. Upton Park is not a happy place.
Sunderland haven’t been doing badly against Swansea – the effort isn’t lacking, but do they have the quality? As yet, the visitors have not created much.
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Bristol City have missed a couple of fine chances to double their lead at big-spending Middlesbrough. They, Ipswich and Burnley are the three teams to have scored in the Championship so far.
Boos at Upton Park – West Ham may have been ragged but it’s only two weeks since they won at Arsenal under their new manager. Give it a chance, eh?
Goal! Norwich 1-1 Stoke (Martin 28)
These two games are trading goals. Norwich defender Russell Martin converts after a nice flick from Nathan Redmond, and they’re right back in it!
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Goal! West Ham 0-2 Bournemouth (Wilson 28)
Wilson has doubled his tally! It’s a bad error by Aaron Cresswell, who undercooks a backpass towards Randolph and is punished decisively. The Hammers have been dreadful!
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In the Andre Gray derby, Burnley are a goal up over Brentford thanks to a Michael Keane header. What do the algorithms say about that?
Another team 2-0 down at home in League Two – Portsmouth behind by that scoreline to Morecambe, Alan Goodall scoring the second.
Goal in the Championship and it’s the leaders, Ipswich, in front at Preston through Brett Pitman. It’s his first for the club, and came rather against the run of play.
Water break at Upton Park. It’s very hot here in London today. No such luxury at Crystal Palace yet although Glenn Murray should have opened the scoring for the home side, showing unnecessary to play a return pass to Wilfried Zaha after his team-mate had played him in on goal.
Stoke are looking comfortable at Carrow Road, playing with a great deal of control. Shaqiri has been frequently involved, quite apart from that goal. Mark Hughes’ side looking in good fettle – although Norwich did come back spiritedly against Palace at home two weeks ago.
Bit of a slow start all round today, in general....but not at Yeovil, where Luton are two up now. Paul Benson has scored their second, just 19 minutes in.
13 - Since the start of last season, no player in the top four tiers has scored more away goals than Callum Wilson (13). Voyage.
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) August 22, 2015
Gabby Agbonlahor has missed a one-on-one chance to open the scoring in that match at Selhurst Park. Still just those two Premier League goals so far.
Ed has tactics news from the Palace:
bit of a strange formation from Pardew today. Cabaye seems to be on the right with Zaha and Murray up top #cpfc
— Ed Aarons (@ed_aarons) August 22, 2015
Goal! Norwich 0-1 Stoke (Diouf 11)
It’s a header from Mame Biram Diouf.....and it’s a teasing assist from Xherdan Shaqiri!
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Goal! West Ham 0-1 Bournemouth (Wilson 11)
Callum Wilson is indeed making hay! A superb first-time finish and the Cherries are up and running!
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Now that’s an interesting goal in the Championship – Joe Bryan has put Bristol City one up at Middlesbrough. Two divisions lower, Leyton Orient are already 2-0 up at Terry Butcher’s Newport.
Wycombe, who have a 100% record in League Two, are a goal down at home to Dagenham & Redbridge – Matt McClure on the mark.
West Ham, meanwhile, have had a goal disallowed – Winston Reid headed home but he was pulled up correctly for a push.
The 3pms’ first goal comes in League Two, though, where Craig Mackail-Smith – remember him? – has scored for Luton at Yeovil. Bristol Rovers and Mansfield have quickly scored against Barnet and Oxford in that division, too. Crewe lead Bury in League One thanks to Adam King.
Bournemouth have started well at Upton Park, Max Gradel and Josh King already causing problems with their pace.
Peeeeeeeeeeep!
You ready? You’d better be. Whistles meet mouths, leather meets vulcanised rubber – we’re underway at grounds up and down this sunny little island!
Darren Randolph starts in goal for West Ham against Bournemouth today, and here’s a welcome nugget from Jim Powell: “My son Billy has just reminded me that Darren Randolph conceded 12 (twelve) in two games against Bournemouth last season.”
He did, didn’t he? And one was an 8-0 home defeat for his old club, Birmingham. Callum Wilson, fill your boots...
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An e-salvo from Mike MacKenzie: “Watching that Marco Matias goal makes you wonder why people think scoring goals is so difficult!”
Well, quite. I did one of those once for my uni team – although I recall the defence standing off even more limply than Leeds’ players did there.
Worrying news from Brighton, where kick-off in the Championship match against Blackburn has been delayed by 15 minutes after a very bad-looking plane crash at the nearby Shoreham Airshow.
Are you at a game today? Doesn’t matter where or what – email or tweet and let us know how it’s going, or any other items of interest.
That Hoffenheim goal has been officially timed at nine seconds – meaning it’s the joint-fastest Bundesliga goal of all time.
By the way, here is that Marco Matias goal from earlier...
In remarkable Bundesliga news...
In what maybe the fastest goal in the Bundesliga's history, Bayern have conceded in 8 seconds https://t.co/ba7Jwt3sTc
— Andrew Jerell Jones (@sluggahjells) August 22, 2015
Really barnstorming finish at Old Trafford there – but it has finished goalless. Both sides had chances; neither played badly. Newcastle will be especially happy with that, though.
Doesn't appear to be a lot of pace or creativity in that West Ham team.
— Jacob Steinberg (@JacobSteinberg) August 22, 2015
Jacob is also at a game, and has concerns about West Ham’s selection.
Leeds and Sheffield Wednesday have drawn 1-1. A remarkable number of draws in the Championship so far this season. Goalless at Old Trafford still, in the dying minutes....
A lovely day for football just got lovelier. Shaqiri starts for Stoke at Norwich pic.twitter.com/xzgT6ggRlY
— Barry Glendenning (@bglendenning) August 22, 2015
We do have people at the games too.
So get your thinking caps on and have a digest of all that. Any surprises/worries/hopes/fears there?
Crystal Palace v Aston Villa – teams
Crystal Palace: Alex McCarthy, Ward, Dann, Delaney, Souare, McArthur, Cabaye, Puncheon, Sako, Zaha, Murray. Subs: Bamford, Hennessey, Lee, Jedinak, Gayle, Mutch, Kelly.
Aston Villa: Guzan, Bacuna, Richards, Clark, Amavi, Sanchez, Westwood, Gueye, Agbonlahor, Gestede, Grealish. Subs: Traore, Baker, Sinclair, Veretout, Ayew, Hutton, Bunn.
Glenn Murray still Pardew’s “number one number nine”, then. No sign of Connor Wickham today, mind – presumably injured.
Leicester v Tottenham – teams
Leicester: Schmeichel, De Laet, Huth, Morgan, Schlupp, Mahrez, King, Drinkwater, Albrighton, Okazaki, Vardy. Subs: Kante, Kramaric, Ulloa, Fuchs, Benalouane, Schwarzer, Inler.
Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Walker, Alderweireld, Vertonghen, Davies, Dier, Mason, Dembele, Lamela, Chadli, Kane. Subs: Rose, Bentaleb, Vorm, Trippier, Alli, Onomah, Carroll.
Inler is on the bench for Leicester, then.
West Ham v Bournemouth – teams
West Ham: Randolph, Jenkinson, Reid, Ogbonna, Cresswell, Noble, Obiang, Kouyate, Payet, Nolan, Sakho. Subs: Tomkins, Jarvis, Collins, Maiga, Lanzini, Spiegel, Cullen.
Bournemouth: Boruc, Francis, Elphick, Cook, Daniels, Ritchie, O’Kane, Surman, Gradel, King, Wilson. Subs: Gosling, Pugh, Mings, Smith, Kermorgant, Federici, Distin.
Sunderland v Swansea – teams
Sunderland: Pantilimon, Jones, Coates, O’Shea, Van Aanholt, Rodwell, Cattermole, M’Vila, Lens, Graham, Defoe. Subs: Brown, Larsson, Matthews, Giaccherini, Mannone, Fletcher, Watmore.
Swansea: Fabianski, Naughton, Fernandez, Williams, Taylor, Cork, Shelvey, Ayew, Sigurdsson, Montero, Gomis. Subs: Britton, Dyer, Nordfeldt, Routledge, Eder, Rangel, Bartley.
Norwich v Stoke – teams
Norwich: Ruddy, Whittaker, Martin, Bassong, Brady, Redmond, Howson, Tettey, Dorrans, Hoolahan, Jerome. Subs: Wisdom, Johnson, Grabban, Hooper, Rudd, Ryan Bennett, O’Neil.
Stoke: Butland, Johnson, Cameron, Muniesa, Pieters, van Ginkel, Whelan, Arnautovic, Shaqiri, Afellay, Diouf. Subs: Ireland, Joselu, Wilson, Adam, Given, Crouch, Wollscheid.
Shaqiri starts for Stoke! And – hmmmm – where is Norwich target Jon Walters?
In Scotland, Celtic have beaten Dundee United 3-1 at Tannadice.
Chris Wood has equalised for Leeds against Sheffield Wednesday – 1-1 now.
There are games taking place elsewhere As We Speak. In the Championship, a remarkable Marco Matias goal sees Sheffield Wednesday one up at Leeds. But you may well prefer following Manchester United v Newcastle via Nick Miller’s MBM. It is goalless, a couple of minutes into the second half – but it’s been entertaining stuff so far.
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Afternoon all
Still a week and a half or so until transfer deadline day, so let’s fill the void with a little more football. I know – tedious, right? Let’s hope your boys can spend some serious money in reaction to this afternoon’s disappointment, which nobody should expect you to tolerate just like that. And most of all, let’s just get today out of the way quickly!
Where to begin, then? We have five 3pm kick-offs in the Premier League, and plenty of scope for trigger-happy post-match spending. What about Sunderland v Swansea, which might sound nondescript but today looks like something of an away banker, with Dick Advocaat doing a reasonable impression of a man who won’t be hanging around for very long and his all-up-for-sale players doing more than reasonable impressions of men who haven’t kicked a ball before. All is well in Swansea’s world, in the meantime, and what price another stellar showing from Jefferson Montero, who tied Newcastle in knots during their 2-0 win last week? Swansea could count themselves unlucky not to have won at Chelsea on the opening day, too; a convincing performance here would suggest they may be men for all seasons.
Should Bournemouth be splashing the cash? They’d like to – they’re still trying to sign Crystal Palace’s Glenn Murray. They’ve been slightly unlucky in their single-goal defeats to Aston Villa and Liverpool, particularly so given that everybody bar Brendan Rodgers now understands that the latter’s winner shouldn’t have counted, but could do with getting off the mark soon. Can they do that at Upton Park? That’s a bit like asking “Are West Ham any good?” – it’s just impossible to know, even if you’re tending towards misgivings.
Leicester have already splashed some cash! But not that much, especially where a talent like the dog-loving, Olympian-sparring Gokhan Inler is concerned. £5m looks like a bargain for the Swiss captain and he could make his debut against Spurs at the King Power Stadium this afternoon. Not that he’s necessarily a must-have just yet: Claudio Raniei’s Leicester have started the season like a train without him and, facing a Tottenham team struggling for points and confidence after blowing a two-goal lead against Stoke last weekend, will fancy their chances of making it three from three. We have a live MBM of this game elsewhere.
Norwich are trying to spend money, but just can’t find anyone to do a deal with. Alex Neil is desperate for a striker and isn’t leaving too many stones unturned, but at the moment he has to go with what he has, which is a team that was glad to get off the mark last week with a victory at woeful Sunderland. One of the players Neil has made a...errrr...play for is Jon Walters of Stoke, who visit Carrow Road today. No dice, apparently – but the more interesting prospect is that of a debut for Xherdan Shaqiri, another Swiss bargain who should make his debut for the Potters this afternoon.
The Premier League action wraps up with Crystal Palace v Aston Villa, a tussle whose winner would emerge with six points and a handy league position. Villa may be tempted to make another signing or two of their own before next week but they can now call upon Adama Traore, the youngster signed from Barcelona, and he is another who could make his first appearance today. None of these teams will really be finished articles for another 10 days or so, will they?
There is also the Championship. The poster boy for the bewildering and ill-fated – for several of the teams involved at least – excess that has beset that division has been Andre Gray, for whom an eyewatering number of clubs were willing to bid £9m. Those included Burnley, for whom he has signed, although he will be watching when they play – but of course – his now-former club Brentford at Turf Moor today. Also in action are the early leaders Ipswich, invisible to most pundits due to their policy of clever acquisition ahead of flashy millions, and they’ll be looking to take something from impressive newcomers Preston. Middlesbrough and Bristol City’s wallet-waving contest could be worth keeping an eye on, too.
That is not all. We’ll dip into the lower divisions, Scotland and Foreign Countries as and when we can. And you can join in – send your thoughts to nick.ames.casual@theguardian.com or do that Twitter thing on @NickAmes82
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