Anyway, that’s about us - another Premier League season in the books. Thanks for your company and comments - later.
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It’s fair to point out that he’s had the best squad of players in every one of those wins, and by far - but still, an indisputable and absolute genius. There’s no one better at extracting the most from elite talent.
🇪🇸 La Liga
— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) May 12, 2019
2008/09 🥇
2009/10 🥇
2010/11 🥇
🇩🇪 Bundesliga
2013/14 🥇
2014/15 🥇
2015/16 🥇
🏴 Premier League
2017/18 🥇
2018/19 🥇
The Greatest One. pic.twitter.com/wtQ5zRhlBX
Bernardo Silva is extremely happy, and Toure congratulates him on a brilliant season. He’s a sensational player, and should play in the middle every week. Anyway, he says they’re still annoyed about going out of Europe, and that they did wonder if they could do it, post-Newcastle. Fourteen straight wins says they could.
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He also says this is the toughest title his team have won, the Redknapp asks him about golf - it’s absolutely hilarious I can tell you - and puts an arm around him. What an honour.
After losing to Newcastle, he didn’t think his team were done, and Liverpool then dropped points at home to Leicester and seven points was doable.
A meeting of minds: Jamie Redknapp is with Pep Guardiola. He thanks Liverpool for pushing them to improve, extols his team’s points aggregate over the past two seasons. he knew his team couldn’t drop any points in the run-in, and says that they’ve changed English football.
“This is exactly what I came to this club for,” says Raheem Sterling. Quite.
The City players give Guardiola the bumps. “He starts everything off,” says Kompany. He then says he’s “desperate, desperate, desperate” to win the FA Cup (after a night tonight) but that he doesn’t know if he’s staying another season. City would be mad to lose him, if he’s up for hanging about; “he’s staying,” says Yaya Toure, and the two take a selfie.
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City players and manager pose in a big group with the trophy, then Kompany goes over for a word with Sky. He says this season was the most draining title he’s won because of the need to win every game. He says City are now one of English football’s greatest-ever sides and he’s very proud of that.
Wonderwall is played over the tannoy, and there’s Noel Gallagher lapping it up. What a feeling that must be!
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Leroy Sane pours fizz all over Yaya Toure, and for a second you wonder if it’s going to cost him a burst mooth, but then they embrace.
The only criticism of City, and it’s a big one, is their European record. Losing to domestic rivals, conceding lots of goals, is not a good look - they can win it with their existing defence, but they’d need everything to go in their favour. If they can improve that defence, and given the rebuilding that the traditional powers need to do, next season it should be theirs.
Guardiola applauds, and it’s hard to see any team matching his lot next season, especially after another summer’s investment. If he can replace Fernandinho, and find himself some better defenders, dearie me, what a team he’ll have. On which point, I guess we have to note the ludicrous money spent on this team and its provenance but, footballistically speaking, they are outstanding.
Vincent Kompany dances his way to the trophy and launches it above his head!
Manchester City are champions again!
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Guardiola and Saneé share a hug. There didn’t seem to be any animus, but yerman won’t fancy as much time sitting at the side next season.
Just spoken to Maurizio Sarri, he said ‘Hazard has been a great player for Chelsea, it’s time to accept his decision’.
— Steve Crossman (@Steve_Crossman) May 12, 2019
I asked what that decision is
‘I don’t know, I’m just the Head Coach’
Here’s EH applauding fans and blowing kisses at full time.@5liveSport #Hazard #Chelsea pic.twitter.com/foYmp2g6a3
Pep Guardiola trots out and the players follow him.
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Tasty game at Selhurst - not as tasty as Tasty Jerk, but still.
The City backroom staff come out, and the trophy follows them.
Yes, we all agree: Man City’s squad celebrating the title win with Yaya Toure, who was with Sky Sports for the day, is fantastic.
— Planet Fútbol (@si_soccer) May 12, 2019
(via @ManCityES) pic.twitter.com/2I7pFROIAb
Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang earned a share of the golden boot as Arsenal finally won away. Louise Taylor was at Turf Moor.
It was not a good day for Watford, who lost Christian Kabasele for the cup final and 4-1 to West Ham. Ben Fisher was there.
Huddersfield are a veritable points machine! They nabbed a draw with Southampton, and here’s more on that.
Stuart James watched Chelsea secure third place with a 0-0 home draw against Leicester.
Bruno comes out with his family to take the applause of the crowd. His team-mates have t-shirts with his face on them, which looks like Richard from Guess Who.
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Newcastle have had a brilliant second half of the season, and stole Fulham’s lunch money this afternoon. Amy Lawrence saw them beat Fulham 4-0.
Liverpool are up to 29 years without a league title, but what a season it’s been for them - and what a season it might still be. Here’s Danny Taylor on their 2-0 win over Wolves.
Cardiff landed a final shot on Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s nose, and Jamie Jackson was there to see it.
David Hytner was at Spurs 2-2 Everton.
Here’s Dominic Fifield’s report of Brighton 1-4 Man City.
Vincent Kompany says he knew Liverpool were ahead because the Brighton fans were singing 1-0 to Liverpool. But he says his team were finding the gaps, which is to say that he wasn’t all that worried.
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At the Amex, Guardiola is acknowledging the fans, before the players go in - they’ll be out again presently, to be presented with the trophy.
Full-time: Burnley 1-3 Arsenal
Eddie Nketiah grabbed a third in injury-time, so Arsenal finish fifth, ahead of Man United in sixth.
And read about Liverpool- Wolves, here:
Read all about the champions, here.
Yaya Toure tries to speak to the players for Sky - instead they haul him into their celebrations, singing his song.
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Full-time scores
Spurs 2-2 Everton
Man United 0-2 Cardiff
Watford 1-4 West Ham
Southampton 1-1 Huddersfield
Leicester 0-0 Chelsea
Fulham 0-4 Newcastle
Liverpool 2-0 Wolves
Crystal Palace 5-3 Bournemouth
Brighton 1-4 Man City
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MANCHESTER CITY ARE CHAMPIONS OF ENGLAND AGAIN!
They’ve beaten Brighton 4-1, coming from a goal down too, and that’s 14 straight wins, beating Arsenal’s run-in 13 in 01-02. They’re a very, very good team, and it’ll take something special to overhaul them next season.
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Full-time: Liverpool 2-0 Wolverhampton Wanderers
Well played Liverpool. That little run when they were ahead, against Leicester, West Ham and Man United, cost them in the end, but they gave it everything. Ninety-seven points to not win the title!
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At Anfield, there’s a lot of indignant singing. Liverpool have had a brilliant season, and will fancy themselves to win a sixth big ears.
Pogba drills a free-kick into the wall as Old Trafford empties in disgust. The lap of appreciation should be a goodun.
GOAL! Fulham 0-4 Newcastle United (Rondon, 89)
Imagine what Newcastle could do if someone gave Benitez a few quid to spend.
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At Old Trafford, Mason Greenwood can’t quite poke home Rashford’s cross, then Angel Gomes, on as sub, curls over the bar.
Back at the Amex, Vincent Kompany is withdrawn for a walk of fame. What a player he’s been for City and he gets the mother and father of all hugs from Guardiola. This being football, it’s followed up with a hard head shove - Guardiola must be strong - and in not long at all, Kompany will be chucking the Premier League trophy into the air.
On the Old Trafford bench, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer sits there in his club suit. It’s not making that much difference, and neither is he or Micky Phelan next to him.
At the Amex, the retiring Bruno has just been taken off - he receives a standing ovation and plenty of congratulation. What a signing he was.
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“Everton fans at White Hart Lane singing ‘Now you’re going to believe us You’re going to win the cup’, emails John Tumbridge.
The beauty of football right there.
GOAL! Liverpool 2-0 Wolves (Mane, 81)
“Logjam!” is what Peter Drury would have screeched were he commentating on this game. Alexander-Arnold curls in brilliantly, Mane heads down, and he is now level with Salah and Aubameyang.
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“I’m sure if he could have that moment again, he’d stand there clapping whilst Antonio ran through,” says Dan C of Holebas. “Did he try promising the ref they’d let West Ham walk the free kick in?”
He is going to have some stern ones with himself tonight. Maybe he should give Dazzler Fletcher a call.
GOAL! Spurs 2-2 Everton (Eriksen, 75)
He’s decent, this lad. A low free-kick catches Pickford moving the wrong way, and Spurs do not know when they’re beaten.
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GOAL! Spurs 1-2 Everton (Tosun, 72)
There he is! Lloris saves Keane’s header from Sigurdsson’s corner, and Tosun is there to barge home.
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GOAL! Crystal Palace 4-3 AFC Bournemouth (King, 73)
Mepham heads on a corner and King is there. What a game!
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GOAL! Watford 1-3 West Ham (Arnautovic, 71)
The Orns ave ad better days.
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GOAL! Brighton 1-4 Man City (Gundogan, 72)
City win a free-kick 25 yards out, and Gundogan curls over the wall and in. I wonder if Ryan might’ve saved that.
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At Old Trafford, Mason Greenwood has looked sharp, and he’s just flicked a header narrowly wide.
GOAL! Burnley 1-2 Arsenal (Barnes, 65)
A back four of Lichsteiner, Mustafi, Mavropanos and Monreal is never keeping a clean sheet, and it does not.
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GOAL! Crystal Palace 4-2 AFC Bournemouth (Van Aanholt, 65)
A one-two with Zaha, a sprint into the box, and a low finish does the job.
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GOAL! Burnley 0-2 Arsenal (Aubameyang, 63)
Iwobi spins and lifts a pass to the back post which Aubameyang crunches into the net. He’s now level with Salah in the scoring charts.
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GOAL! Fulham 0-3 Newcastle (Schar, 61)
Fulham depart as they arrived, miserably - Ritchie puts a decent corner into the box, Mawson doesn’t clear, and there you go.
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GOAL! MAN CITY ARE GOING TO BE CHAMPIONS! Brighton 1-3 Man City (Mahrez, 63)
This is very nicely taken. He takes possession just outside the box, dead centre, and feints to shoot, moving past Dunk who slides in, off the pitch and out of the ground. He then pokes a hard, rising shot to which Ryan gets a strong hand - he ought to stop it really - but can’t, cue delirium on the City bench.
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At Old Trafford, Bobby Reid has just whacked one past the post!
“In terms of ‘laughing at the failure of others’, this year’s United vintage is the gift that keeps on giving,” emails Matt Dony.” Truth is, I like Ole, and I’m almost feeling sorry for them. But then I remember the United fans I knew during the peak Fergie years. And, let’s face it, I need someone to laugh at, because a whole load of other fans are going to fill their boots laughing at a 97 point second place. I hate football.”
I have a dawg in this fight and I find it funny. I’m not sure how much is Ole’s fault - I’d mainly blame the players - but the extent of the awfulness is such that some of it has to be on him.
At Anfield, Wolves are knocking at the door. How will Liverpool respond?
GOAL! Southampton 1-1 Huddersfield Town)Pritchard, 56)
Gunn takes a pass and looks to hoof upfield, but pressure arrives and he chucks a dummy instead. Pritchard, though, is having no such thing, winning the ball and tapping home.
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GOAL! Crystal Palace 3-2 AFC Bournemouth (Ibe, 56)
Suddenly, Palace are in a game, and it’s another assist from Fraser. He now has 15 this season, along with seven goals.
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GOAL! Burnley 0-1 Arsenal (Aubameyang, 52)
Burnley move the ball along the backline like Liverpool pre-backpass law, only Taylor messes up his control and Aubemayang doesn’t wait to be asked twice.
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GOAL! Manchester United 0-2 Cardiff City (Mendez-Laing, 54)
United are an absolute joke! McTominay challenges Reid for a waist-high ball, they both miss it, and suddenly Murphy is in behind! He squares, Mendez-Laing taps in, and this is unfathomably useless!
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At Old Trafford, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has taken off Phil Jones and replaced him with a sentient broomstick Anthony Martial. He’s already been yanked down by Morrison when played in by Rashford - that was right on the red/yellow border, and Moss went with yellow.
“Homesick in Toronto with kidney stones and no tv,” emails John Macmillan. “Hence I’ve got your mbm on the tablet while listening to Everton radio live on my phone as my beloved Toffees play Spurs at new ‘White Hot Lane’.
Everton’s down one-nil, and frankly it’s a tedious match.
Hence Everton’s broadcasters can barely contain their contrasting dismay and excitement as Liverpool and City alternate goals. ‘There’s no alcohol available in the press booth, so we’ll need to send out..’” says Darren Griffiths, the voice of Everton. ‘C’mon Aguero!’ It’s better than painkillers. Mostly.”
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RED CARD! JOSE HOLEBAS IS SENT OFF AND WILL MISS THE CUP FINAL
Absolute sickener! Antonio is in on goal, Holebas pulls him back, and what was he thinking?
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If Man United lose today, it’ll mean that since beating PSG, they’re P12 W2 D2 L8. That is ungood in the extreme.
GOAL! Watford 1-2 West Ham (Deulofeu, 46)
The second half specialist strikes again!
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Off we go again, the final half of the 2018-19 Premier League season. Does it have one last way to amaze us?
“According to my friend Elliot, apparently Wolves fans are starting up fake Brighton goal celebrations at Anfield, and it’s worked on a couple of occasions. I love this.” So emails Darren Hall, and I agree - see below.
Although Wolves are losing, it’s looking good for them: if City win today and in the cup final, they’ll be in Europe for the first time in time.
Half-time scores
Spurs 1-0 Everton
Man United 0-1 Cardiff City
Watford 0-2 West Ham
Southampton 1-0 Huddersfield
Leicester City 0-0 Chelsea
Fulham 0-2 Newcastle United
Liverpool 1-0 Wolves
Crystal Palace 3-1 Bournemouth
Brighton 1-2 Man City
Burnley 0-0 Arsenal
GOAL! Crystal Palace 3-1 Bournemouth (Lerma, 45)
I’ve not seen this once but apparently it’s something, a 35-yard scud, screeching in off the bar for extra points.
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Matt Doherty hits the woodwork! Wolves move the ball across the face of the Liverpool box, Jota teeing up Doherty, whose studied sidefooter clips the top of the bar!
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Taking pleasure in the failure of another is one of football’s greatest pleasures. I was in the away end at St Mary’s in May 2005 when Southampton went down, giving the home fans all sorts of stick; I was also in the away end at the Stadium of Light when Agueroooooo happened, taking all sorts of stick. Nothing else facilitates that standard of mass snide.
Glorious!
Suggestion that Wolves supporters are starting up the fake Brighton goal celebrations at Anfield, setting off the rest of the stadium.
— Sam Cunningham (@samcunningham) May 12, 2019
GOAL! Southampton 1-0 Huddersfield Town (Redmond, 41)
This is a beaut, apparently, Redmond moving off the left, beating two men, and zuzzing a curler in off the post. He has a lot of talent - I wonder if he can play at a higher level.
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GOAL! Watford 0-2 West Ham (Lanzini, 39)
In 1985, Watford beat Man United 5-1 in the game before the cup final. Watford could easily take a similar hiding today.
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GOAL! Brighton 1-2 Man City (Laporte, 38)
Is this the goal that wins the title? Mahrez bends a corner into the middle of the box while, on the edge, Murray - who’s bullied Laporte at the other end - switches off and allows him to get away. A strong, downward header does the rest.
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I wonder where Wan-Bissaka will be playing next season. I’m sure he’s happy at Palace, but they’ve got to be expecting a sizeable offer or two, given how good he is.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 2-0 AFC Bournemouth (Batshuayi, 32)
Wan-Bissaka drives a rubbish shot which arrives at the prodigious feet of Batshuayi. He finishes with ease.
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Brighton were ahead for 83 seconds, and you’d have to think that City will find their fluency from here. But if they don’t score another before half-time, the nerves will be tricky to ignore. Basically, professional sportsmen are absolute freaks, and not just because of their skill.
Martin Tyler makes the point that City barely had time to compute that they were trailing, and he’s right. They’ve looked a little nervous so far today, but equalised too quickly for the pressure to really tell.
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Sergio Aguero, what a player! It’s funny really: Guardiola, a man not given to doubt or error, thought he wasn’t for him. Wrong!
GOAL! Brighton 1-1 Man City Aguero, 28)
Ahahahahaha! YOU HAVE GOT TO LAUGH! Laporte fires a low ball into the box and David Silva improvises a flick and suddenly Ageuro is in, left side of the box! You know the rest, but for the completists amongst you, he drills an expert’s finish under Ryan.
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AAAARGGGGGH! GOAL! Brighton 1-0 Manchester City (Murray, 26)
HAVE A LOOK! A brilliant corner from Knockaert, right on top of the near post, induces Ederson to come - he gets naehwere near, and Murray heads home! Is the title going to Liverpool?!
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Mason Greenwood nips inside Bennett and shoots; the ball hits the defender, then Ryan tips onto the post.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 1-0 AFC Bournemouth (Batshuayi, 24)
Zaha’s cross hits Smith and Batshuayi waits for it to drop before slamming hame.
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GOAL! Manchester United 0-1 Cardiff City (Mendez-Laing pen, 23)
De Gea, who is absolutely useless at saving penalties, dives right, and the ball goes centre-left.
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Penalty to Cardiff!
Mendez-Lain takes on Dalot and appears to beat him for pace. Dalot comes back, slides in and wins the ball very nicely, so Jon Moss points to the spot.
GOAL! Watford 0-1 West Ham (Noble, 15)
Noble plays a one-two with Antonio, mooches towards the box, diddles Kabasele and plants a finish past Foster.
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GOAL! Liverpool 1-0 Wolves (Mane, 17)
Alexander-Arnold finds space down the right and exchanges passes with Fabinho before directing a low cross into the box; it flicks a defender, drops for Mane, and he punches home. What a season he’s had; what a player he is! Liverpool are top pf the league! Over to you, City!
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Marcus Rashford had been lively and he takes the ball at inside-left before beating his man and draggin a shot just wide.
Wolves are going well at Anfield; imagine if they get a point and so do Brighton. You’d have to laugh.
GOAL! Fulham 0-2 Newcastle United (Perez, 11)
Thanks for coming, lads. Atsu streaks past Christie and into the box; Rico saves his dig, but Fulham can’t get the ball away - of course they can’t - and Perez sticks it in.
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GOAL! Fulham 0-1 Newcastle United (Shelvey, 9)
A corner picks out Shelvey, and he takes a touch then absolutely shmices into the top corner.
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Pogba skins Morrison and snaps a low cross across the face of the box, but Greenwood is on his heels dem when he should be gambling at the far post.
Aubemayang hits the post! He jumps for a cross with Heaton nowhere, but can’t quite hit the target.
“The one thing I would say about Sané”, emails Christopher Flaherty, “is that two separate managers in very different environments don’t seem to be fully on board with him. It suggests there may be something going on that the public aren’t seeing, whether it’s a mentality aspect or maybe his training. I don’t think it’s as simple as saying ‘Oh, he must be a wrong ‘un’ and leaving it there, but it’s something to think about.”
I’m not sure about this. Yes, he was left out of the German World Cup squad, but I’ve no idea why and the move hardly paid off. As for City, he’s delivered so often - had he not got the winner when they met Liverpool, the title could well be at Anfield already - and Mahrez has done almost nothing.
Salah hustles space on the right of the Wolves box, finding Henderson ... who caresses a cross well beyond the far post.
Greenwood gets himself into a decent position but the cross makes him contort underneath it, and he can only head over.
Bernardo wriggles between various challenges before a desperate slide robs him as he prepares to shoot. City look confident.
GOAL! Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 Everton (Dier, 4)
The ball bobbles in the box following a corner that Mina fails to clear; it hits Llorente, and yerman spanks it hame.
Updated
Neil Warnock is wearing a polo shirt tucked into his throuser, like a physics teacher on non-uniform day.
Off we go!
The atmosphere is up, so we cut to a break.
I’m also looking forward to seeing the state of Harry Kane when he starts that game.
The Champions League final isn’t for another three weeks, which is a long time to stay sharp without a game. I daresay both teams will manage.
The players are tunnelled ... and out they come!
“What’s happened to Luke Shaw?” asks Rob Hisnay. I’m not sure - my guess is he’s injured, though he could easily have been dropped for his behaviour last week when he allowed Huddersfield to equalise for no reason whatsoever. He’s a tricky one to assess - he’s had some really good games this season, but has also been found wanting at crucial moments, and is now of an age at which that must stop.
Tell you what, Liverpool have a hard game today if Wolves turn up. They might not, of course, but their style is very hard to play against: they keep the ball, slow things down, pack the middle of midfield and the middle of their defence, and have plenty of class too. They’ve already beaten Liverpool this season, and will fancy themselves again today.
CHOOON at Anfield:
A bit more on Mason Greenwood.
Spurs, meanwhile, retain most of their European heroes. Walker-Peters gets a run-out while Dier and Lamela continue their comebacks, but otherwise it’s another game for the first choices.
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Looking again at that City team, what has Leroy Sane done to annoy Pep Guardiola? Mahrez has been a total bust, yet is picked ahead of him again; who would defenders prefer to face?
“Take your point re Brexit,” emails Paul Griffin, “but suspect football’s relationship to economics is more tangential: Real dominated Europe when Spain was a poor, closed, fascist state; Liverpool were at their most dominant when their city was being eviscerated economically, while internationally, Brazil and Argentina’s teams have been at their best when their economies have been at their worst. So I’m not sure that the Premier League will be affected by Brexit (It’s just most other bits of the economy we have to worry about. And our children’s hopes of living and working freely across this great continent).”
I’m not sure about that. Real spent a lot of money to be good in the 50s, and Liverpool had less call to in the 80s because no one was. Brexit will be a problem because movement of workers will be a problem.
On the bench, United have Angel Gomes and James Garner. Gomes is a quick, skilful number 1o who has a lot of growing to go, while Garner is a midfielder for whom there’s significant enthusiasm.
As I mentioned earlier, Ole Solskjaer leaves out Lukaku, while Martial is on the bench. The headline starter is Mason Greenwood, who’s been incredible in the reserves. In style, he’s not dissimilar to Robin van Persie, except he’s got gas and a right foot - he actually takes free-kicks with both, though not at the same time. Whether he’s actually good enough, who knows, but United are very excited about him, and today, he’ll be alongside Marcus Rashford and in front of a diamond.
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Chelsea, meanwhile, are without Kepa and Hazard.
The Europa finalists both rest players. Unai Emery leaves out Koscielny, Lacazette, Maitland-Niles, Monreal, Sokratis and Xhaka, but doesn’t make many interesting selections instead - Willock and Guendouzi both start, but the kids in the next wave aren’t involved.
As for Liverpool, they have Salah back - he’s in for Shaqiri - while in midfield, Wijnaldum replaces Milner. Similarly, I wonder what Jurgen Klopp will do in the summer. I reckon Joe Gomez will be given the slot next to Virgil van Dijk, so the focus will be on midfield. On the one hand, the current one is doing a job, but on the other, wit and creativity was missing in that little run of draws against Leicester, West Ham and Manchester United. Klopp wanted Fekir last summer for a reason.
Looking a little closer at the two big games, City have De Bruyne - the best player in the league, in mine - back on the bench. Mahrez starts, with Foden not in the squad, while Zinchenko appears to have nailed down the left-back role. I wonder if he can keep it next season, because City will certainly be in the market, but I’d guess their priority is centre-back and defensive midfield.
Southampton v Huddersfield Town
Southampton: Gunn; Valery, Stephens, Bednarek, Bertrand; Hojbjerg, Ward-Prowse, Romeu, Redmond; Ings, Long. Subs: Austin, Armstrong, Lemina, Jones, Targett, Sims, Forster.
Huddersfield: Coleman; Smith, Kongolo, Hogg, Schindler; Stankovic, Mooy, Bacuna, Pritchard; Mbenza, Grant. Subs: Lossl, Kachunga, Diakhaby, Mounie, Duhaney, Daly, Rowe.
Leicester City v Chelsea
Leicester: Schmeichel, Pereira, Chilwell, Evans, Maguire, Ndidi, Tielemans, Choudhury, Maddison, Albrighton, Vardy. Subs: Simpson, Morgan, Gray, Iheanacho, Ward, Barnes, Okazaki.
Chelsea: Caballero, Zappacosta, Alonso, Azpilicueta, Luiz, Jorginho, Loftus-Cheek, Barkley, Willian, Pedro, Higuain. Subs: Arrizabalaga, Hazard, Kovacic, Giroud, Christensen, Palmieri, Guehi.
Watford v West Ham United
Watford: Foster, Cathcart, Femenia, Holebas, Doucoure, Hughes, Kabasele, Capoue, Pereyra, Deulofeu, Deeney. Subs: Gomes, Janmaat, Mariappa, Success, Masina, Chalobah, Gray.
West Ham: Fabianski, Balbuena, Diop, Lanzini, Fredericks, Antonio, Noble, Masuaku, Rice, Anderson, Arnautovic. Subs: Adrian, Zabaleta, Snodgrass, Sanchez, Chicharito, Wilshere, Ogbonna.
Fulham v Newcastle United
Fulham: Rico, R Sessegnon, Christie, Le Marchand, Mawson, Bryan, Cairney, Chambers, Anguissa, Ayite, Mitrovic. Subs: Fabri, Kebano, Babel, Ream, De La Torre, S Sessegnon, Elliott.
Newcastle: Dubravka, Dummett, Schar, Lascelles, Ritchie, Hayden, Perez, Shelvey, Diame, Atsu, Rondon. Subs: Darlow, Clarke, Muto, Kenedy, Fernandez, Cass, Watts.
Brighton & Hove Albion v Manchester City
Brighton: Ryan, Bruno, Duffy, Dunk, Bernardo, Knockaert, Kayal, Bissouma, Jahanbakhsh, Gross, Murray. Subs: Button, Bong, Locadia, Andone, Montoya, Burn, Molumby.
Man City: Ederson, Walker, Kompany, Laporte, Zinchenko, Gundogan, David Silva, Bernardo Silva, Mahrez, Aguero, Sterling. Subs: Muric, Danilo, Stones, De Bruyne, Sane, Otamendi, Jesus.
Crystal Palace v AFC Bournemouth
Crystal Palace: Guaita, Wan-Bissaka, Kelly, Ward, Van Aanholt, McArthur, Meyer, Milivojevic, Zaha, Townsend, Batshuayi. Subs: Hennessey, Kouyate, Benteke, Wickham, Sako, Dreher, Riedewald
Bournemouth: Travers, Clyne, Cook, Simpson, Ake, Smith, Lerma, Fraser, Ibe, King, Wilson. Subs: Boruc, Mousset, Hyndman, Taylor, Mepham, Butcher, Surridge
Manchester United v Cardiff City
Man Utd: De Gea, Young, Jones, Smalling, Dalot, Pereira, McTominay, Pogba, Lingard, Rashford, Greenwood. Subs: Romero, Mata, Martial, Fred, Valencia, Garner, Gomes.
Cardiff: Etheridge, Peltier, Bruno, Morrison, Bennett, Bacuna, Gunnarsson, Murphy, Mendez-Laing, Reid, Zohore. Subs: Murphy, Richards, Ward, Cunningham, Harris, Healey, Hoilett.
Burnley v Arsenal
Burnley: Heaton, Lowton, Mee, Tarkowski, Taylor, Cork, Westwood, McNeil, Hendrick, Barnes, Wood. Subs: Hart, Gudmundsson, Brady, Crouch, Ward, Vydra, Long
Arsenal: Leno, Lichtsteiner, Mustafi, Mavropanos, Monreal, Guendouzi, Elneny, Willock, Iwobi, Mkhitaryan, Aubameyang. Subs: Cech, Koscielny, Lacazette, Maitland-Niles, Kolasinac, Xhaka, Nketiah
Liverpool v Wolverhampton Wanderers
Liverpool: Alisson, Alexander-Arnold, Van Dijk, Matip, Robertson, Wijnaldum, Henderson, Fabinho, Salah, Mane, Origi. Subs: Mignolet, Lovren, Milner, Gomez, Sturridge, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Shaqiri
Wolves: Rui Patricio, Doherty, Bennett, Coady, Boly, Jonny, Moutinho, Neves, Dendoncker, Jota, Jimene. Subs: Ruddy, Cavaleiro, Costa, Gibbs-White, Vinagre, Traore, Kilman
Tottenham Hotspur v Everton
Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Davies, Walker-Peters, Alderweireld, Dier, Sissoko, Alli, Eriksen, Lamela, Moura, Llorente. Subs: Gazzaniga, Trippier, Janssen, Wanyama, Aurier, Marsh, Skipp
Everton: Pickford, Digne, Zouma, Mina, Keane, Schneiderlin, Gueye, Bernard, Sigurdsson, Walcott, Tosun. Subs: Stekelenburg, Baines, Jagielka, Gomes, Davies, Lookman, Kenny.
Right, let’s go around the grounds for our teams...
Elsewhere: Rob Smyth has Brighton v Man City for you.
And Nick Miller has Liverpool v Wolves:
“In the footballing new order to be ushered in post-Brexit,” emails Ian Copestake, “I look forward to the playing field being levelled by price caps and money doping bans as well as getting betting out of football. If City lose and buy Messi for 500 million this season might see football soon eat itself.”
Yes, how English football handles Brexit - if Brexit happens - will be an interesting one. It might be much harder to bring in players from Europe, but perhaps they’ll be attracted by a tax-rate lower than a snake’s cake.
“I just can’t see a way in which both lower table teams can be competitive and the top 6 can compete with the likes of Real and Barca in Europe,” tweets Max Bertfield. “Surely any sort of salary or transfer cap would just disadvantage England in Europe?”
It’d have to be continent-wide to work, but as I said, it’ll never happen. The worry, also, isn’t just a league that’s predictable on a week-by-week basis – even if we’re not sure who’ll win it at the end – but that to satisfy the desire for competitiveness, we get a European league.
Peep peep! Rangers have beaten Celtic 2-0, and Steven Gerrard is happy.
Correspondence! “Just wanted to send a very sincere thanks to you and all other MBMers for another season of humour, insight, information and plain good fun,” tweets Hubert O’Hearn. “Also, for letting let’s-pretend pundits such as myself have the thrill (and it always is) of sharing our thoughts. Cheers!”
I’m choking up here.
Talking of Ole Gunnar Solskjsaer, we’ll get a flavour of his plans for next season this afternoon. He seems to have lost patience with Anthony Martial and Romelu Lukaku, but is very keen on James Garner and Mason Greenwood. According to the Manchester Evening News, Lukaku hasn’t arrived at Old Trafford, and for a club looking to generate money for signings, he’s a player who isn’t good enough nor of the right type who they could shift for decent wedge. Martial is slightly different – he has the talent but not, it would appear, the mentality, so might get another season.
The thing is, I’m not sure how to. A salary cap and a transfer cap – fees and number of – is probably the answer, except that’s never going to happen. And maybe it’s fine for the best teams to win nearly every game, but the beauty of football, and English football in particular, is that it’s hard to predict; we want to retain that, not ruin it. Because what happens if Spurs find some money? If Ole Gunnar Solskjaer turns out to be good? It will be pretty, but it will also be ugly.
So let’s talk about this season in and of itself: the title race has been great, though doesn’t correspond to all my personal peccadilloes – I like twists and turns in the home straight – but you can’t deny that City and Liverpool have done a phenomenal job. I am slightly concerned about the future: the number of points City got last season could be ignored as an anomaly, but now they and another team have done almost the same again, we need to acknowledge that there’s an issue and engage with it.
Preamble
In football more than in any other walk of life, people “run out of superlatives”. Often, these self-same people do not actually know what “superlative” means ... and actually, this is a good thing. By asserting things to be greatest, especially if they’ve not finished happening, or have only just happened, we forget to absorb them in the moment, which is really why we’re there in the first place.
So it goes for this season’s Premier League. It might be the greatest title race ever, it might not be; it might be the most intriguing season ever, it might not be; it might be the most transcendental season ever, it might not be; at this point, it does not matter.
What does matter is simply that it is, and while it is, it is our duty to embrace every primal feeling it gives us while we still can. We can contextualise later, when we’re calmer calmest.
Kick-offs (or kicks-off): 3pm BST
Updated
