So there we go: it took a while, but the 2019-20 Premier League is in the books.We’ll see you for more, er, tonight, when Juventus play Sampdoria, again for the Championship play-offs, and again for the start of next season. It’s been (extremely, unprecedentedly) emotional. Ta-ra, mates.
James Redknapp has just called Ziyech “Zye-etch”. Of course he has.
“Even if Mourinho was joking (and I can’t be the only person who suspects an undercurrent of ‘hahaha but seriously guys’),” says James Humphries, “then in all fairness he is still tedious in the extreme, so, y’know, riff away.”
I actually think Mourinho really needed this. For a bit it looked like we were seeing his cycle on warp, and as a consequence, Daniel Levy would have a decision to make. My guess now is that he’ll think he doesn’t, which might not be a great long-term situation, but if he can find his old genius and enthusiasm, you never know.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is happy. He says to get to third from where they were is a “wonderful achievement” from his players. They didn’t play well today, he says, but learning to win games like this is an important staging post. He had to stick with his team because he had to for it, and his team looks more like “a Man United team”, who he says “just go for it”.
“We need to step it up,” he says of being the Champions League, and notes that he can’t rotate in that competition as he did in the Europa, and his players need to “get fitter, stronger and more robust”.
The club - they know what I feel we need,” he says, noting in unspoken parentheses that it’s not what the Glazers feel they need.
“As an Atlanta United supporter,” tweets @MiddleAgedSpidey, “I’m going to claim ‘the Skip’ for King Josef.”
Harry Maguire tells Sky United dipped so much from good to bad performances in the first half of the season, noting how bad his team were at defending set-plays. He says they’ve improved a lot at that, though still messed it up against Southampton, and also notes the arrival of Fernandes. He doesn’t note Pogba and Martial’s injuries, but those made a hige difference too.
Let’s have some reports...
“Southgate must be dropping Pickford now,” tweets Bobby Moore, “especially with both Pope and Henderson consistently doing well. He might be good enough for mid-table Everton, but surely not for an England side aiming for the business end of tournaments?”
Yup, agree. If his best was better, maybe, but it isn’t, which makes him a liability.
“What a joyful league table for the mathletes,” says Lars Bøgegaard. “Number three ends up with excactly 2/3 of the points of number one. Bravo!”
And an embarrassment for everyone but number one.
Final league table
Liverpool 99
Man City 81
Man United 66
Chelsea 66
Leicester 62
Spurs 59
Wolves 59
Arsenal 56
Sheff Utd 54
Burnley 54
Southampton 52
Everton 49
Newcastle 44
Palace 43
Brighton 41
West Ham 39
Villa 35
Bournemouth 34
Watfrod 34
Norwich 21
All the full-time scores:
Arsenal 3-2 Watford
Burnley 1-2 Brighton & Hove Albion
Chelsea 2-0 Wolverhampton Wanderers
Crystal Palace 1-1 Tottenham Hotspur
Everton 1-3 AFC Bournemouth
Leicester City 0-2 Manchester United
Manchester City 5-0 Norwich City
Newcastle United 1-3 Liverpool
Southampton 1-3 Sheffield United
West Ham United 1-1 Aston Villa
SPURS MAKE THE EUROPA LEAGUE! Full-time: Palace 1-1 Spurs
Wolves’ failure to take anything from Stamford Bridge is yet another example of Mourinho’s omniscient genius. Wolves, meanwhile, have to hope Chelsea beat Arsenal in the cup final.
Updated
WATFORD ARE RELEGATED! Full-time: Arsenal 3-2 Watford
A squad with players this good ought to be above this fate, but here we are.
CHELSEA MAKE THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE! Full-time: Chelsea 2-0 Wolves
That’s a great result for Chelsea, who now have a cup final to look forward to (and a trip to Germany, in order to overturn a 3-0 first leg deficit.
MAN UNITED TAKE THIRD PLACE AND MAKE THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE! GOAL! Leicester City 0-2 Man United (Lingard 90+8)
Schmeichel, who was out of his goal trying to score a minute ago, rolls a careless one to Lingard, who punishes home his first of the season!
Updated
ASTON VILLA STAY UP! Full-time: West Ham 1-1 Aston Villa
Well! Who picked that two weeks ago?
Full-time: Newcastle 1-3 Liverpool
99 points for the champions. Imagine their joy of they’d got one more.
Full-time: Everton 1-3 Bournemouth
Too little, too late by the looks of things.
Villa have two minutes to survive, to survive....
Updated
RED CARD! Jonny Evans is shown a straight one!
Marooned on the ground, he introduced studs to shin, matter of principle stuff really. McTominay is down, but will be fine; he’s gone, and he can’t really argue with that.
“The original skipper in the peno run up was john Aldo Aldridge!!” says Anto O’Connell. “As the young people say YouTube it!”
I’m old enough to remember watching it, but that was a stutter, for mine.
At the KP, we’re into the second of five minutes of injury time....
GOAL! Man City 5-0 Norwich (De Bruyne 90)
Norwich do not escape with a light 4-0 dusting.
Updated
GOAL! Newcastle 1-3 Liverpool (Mane 89)
That’ll teach them for taking the lead.
Updated
BUT ARE THEY! GOAAAAAALLLL! I LOVE "THIS LEAGUE!" West Ham 1-1 Aston Villa (Yarmolenko 85)
I’m sure in thefullness of time, this will be an own goal, but whatevz; Yarmolenko shoots from just outside the box, it flicks off a defender’s leg, and describes a perfect parabola, looping over Reina and in! Can Villa hold it down?
Updated
WHAAAAAAAT A GOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL! West Ham 0-1 Aston Villa (Grealish 84)
JACK GREALISH HAS DONE IT! JACK GREALISH HAS DONE IT! THE CAPTAIN HAS DONE IT! He takes a square pass just outside the box, left of centre, drags the ball down the side of the defender, enough to make space and angle for the shot, then flings everything he’s ever been, everything he’s ever known and everything that exists in the world into a rising, screeching cry for freedom, and Villa are staying up!
Updated
TWO GOALS! Man City 4-0 Norwich City (Sterling 79, Mahrez 83)
Sounds brutal, but I bet Norwich would’ve took this before kick-off, if this winds up being all it is.
Updated
GOAL! Southampton 3-1 Sheffield United (Adams 71)
Yes, I’m late to this one, apologies. We busy.
Updated
GOAL! Everton 1-3 Bournemouth (Stanislas 80)
Bournemouth have done their bit! Jordan Pickford is hilarious! Stanislas cuts in from the left and passes towards what he hopes is the far corner, but his shot isn’t hard enough or well-directed enough ... but Pickford dives over it! With ten minutes to go, all three competing teams are still in this!
Updated
“The skip that Fernandes performed is not ‘his’ skip, rages Peter Williams. “It’s the Jorginho skip.”
Er, the one he did when missing in the league cup final shoot-out. yes. but surely if someone does something, it’s theirs, even if someone else did it first.
At Leicester, Brendan Rodgers has gone for it, making four changes: Tielemans, Choudhury, Albrighton and Iheanacho have gone off, with Gray, Barnes, Perez and Praet coming on. If they can score, even with two or three to go, United will be even more petrified than they’ve looked all afternoon. United, meanwhile, have replaced Greenwood with Lingard, though I’m not entirely sure why.
Oh gosh, Callum Wilson almost put Bournemouth 3-1 up at Goodison, but Baines hurled himself into a scissors challenge - that was very, very close to penalty - and won the ball. I guess he did, but the manner of it has been outlawed, I think.
“Villa fan here,” admits David Bertram. ‘We’re going to blow this aren’t we. Please Everton score.”
I’m afraid saying it out loud on here probably won’t reverse-bok it, but for what it’s worth, your boys look fairly comfortable given the circumstances. On which point, were Villa to go down, would that make them the most expensive relegated side ever? Fulham had a good shy at it last term...
GOAL! Arsenal 3-2 Watford (Welbeck 66)
Did I speak too soon? If Watford can get one more, Villa will be right under the pump and Bournemouth, who lead Everton, will be down!
Updated
GOAL! Leicester City 0-1 Man United (Fernandes pen 70)
Schmeichel dances on his line but Fernandes is terrifyingly calm, doing his skip and, as Schmeichel dives right, rolling left. He is silllily good at these, because that was pressure and he tweaked it’s nose without even running away. Leicester now need to score twice!
Updated
Yes, he thinks they do. This is a huge moment in the contemporary history of Manchester United....
Will it be Fernandes with the penalty? Do his little legs have the strength to kick the ball 18 yards?
Updated
PENALTY UNITED!
A fine pass from Fernandes – what a player he is – sends Martial through. Evans and Morgan converge on him, both slide, and though Evans gets a toenail on the ball, Morgan ploughs through him!
Updated
In commentary, Gary Neville and Martin Tyler are discussing whether Fernandes, who’s barely alive, should be taken off, but but but...
“Mourinho explicitly said he was joking when he mentioned ‘the five-game championship’ to the press,” says Alistair Hann. “So it’ll be tedious in the extreme if you continue to post comments riffing on the absurdity of the statement.”
In fairness, he’s said a lot of things that were sillier, with extreme earnesty.
“If Manchester United finish fifth and Wolves as sixth, and one of these clubs wins the Europa League and gets a ticket to the Champions League - will that give seventh a Europa League spot?” wonders Lars Bøgegaard. “Asking for a Spurs-friend.”
No. England will have five teams in the Champions League, but no additional Europa spot.
It’s getting extremely tense at the KP, where Lindelof has just scythed through Vardy on the touchline. Both sides look eminently capable of conceding. In the event, the free-kick comes in, De Gea stays - of course he does - and Maguire has to clear on his behalf.
GOAL! Newcastle 1-2 Liverpool (Origi 59)
The champions look set to sign off win a win....
Updated
Oh my days! At the KP, Vardy runs in front of Fernandes to get to Tielemans’ free-kick first, twizzling all of himself into a header that loops onto the far angle! And then Thomas crosses and Tielemans mishits his shot into his own leg ... but wins a corner anyway! Scenes if Leicester score from it ... which they don’t.
Updated
Back at Goodison, it’s Everton with most of the possession now, while at the London Stadium, West Ham are pushing.
“Is Jose going to hold a cup-raising event for his five game championship?” asks Mary Waltz. “Does he have the neighbourhood dogs form a guard of honour as he enters his home at night?”
With million-pound fireworks. In fairness, if I was a Porto or Inter fan, I’d already be squatting on his front lawn so I could pay daily homage.
At Leicester, meanwhile, United are in the ascendancy. But if you offered Brendan Rodgers 0-0 with 20 to go, my guess is he’d’ve took it.
At Goodison, Bournemouth are running their absolute hinds off.
GOAL! Crystal Palace 1-1 Spurs (Schlupp 53)
As long as Spurs hang onto their point and Wolves don’t come back from two goals down to get theirs at Chelsea, Spurs are still fine. And how nice to see Schlupp scoring after coming back from a nasty injury.
Updated
GOAL! Burnley 1-2 Brighton (Connolly 50)
Brighton are asserting themselves here. Graham Potter has done a great job to improve the football and maintain the status.
Updated
GOAL! Southampton 1-1 Sheffield United (Adams 50)
Well Che Adams has shut me up
— Carl Anka (@Ankaman616) July 26, 2020
GOAL for the striker, getting in the of a lofted through ball that was initially for Bertrand, but got cut out. A bit of ingenuity from the striker and he's got his 3rd goal of the season.
Play the ball into space and Adams can score.
Updated
Ooh, and now down the other end, Lindelof, who’s holding United together here, nips in front of Vardy after Justin skins Wan-Bissaka.
At Leicester, Matic sends Martial in behind with a lovely pass, but Martial’s touch, looking to take the ball across Justin, actually allows him to challenge, and he does really well.
Off we go again!
“Spurs fans must be over the moon that they are on course to winning the Project Restart Cup!” emails Peter Oh. “Please celebrate responsibly.”
Yes, it looks like they and Mourinho are stuck with each other for longer.
Michael O’Connor emails with news on Liverpool’s equaliser at Newcastle: “Nifty dribbing by Oxlade Chamberlain then a lovely hanging cross for Van Dijk to head into the top right corner; keeper had no chance.”
Thanks. I wonder what’ll happen with Oxlade-Chamberlain; he can’t be happy playing as infrequently as he has, but it’s hard to see where he fits into Klopp’s system on a reg.
Half-time scores
Arsenal 3-1 Watford
Burnley 1-1 Brighton & Hove Albion
Chelsea 2-0 Wolverhampton Wanderers
Crystal Palace 0-1 Tottenham Hotspur
Everton 1-2 AFC Bournemouth
Leicester City 0-0 Manchester United
Manchester City 2-0 Norwich City
Newcastle United 1-1 Liverpool
Southampton 0-1 Sheffield United
West Ham United 0-0 Aston Villa
Updated
GOAL! Burnley 1-1 Brighton (Wood 44)
Burnley need to equal whatever Arsenal do to hang onto the coveted ninth spot, so this equaliser is only a start.
Updated
GOAL! Manchester City 2-0 Norwich (De Bruyne 45+1)
I’ve not seen this goal yet, or any of this game, but I’m surprised it took so long.
Updated
GOAL! Chelsea 2-0 Wolves (Giroud 45+4)
Chelsea are going into the Champions League! Two injury-time goals have sor’ed Wolves righ’ aht’!
Updated
GOAL! Everton 1-2 Bournemouth (Solanke 45+1)
It’s all going off! Bournemouth need a West Ham win over Villa....
Updated
WHAT A GOAL! Chelsea 1-0 Wolves (Mount (45+1)
A free-kick, 25 yards out, and Mount steps up to curl flat over the wall and with the swing into the left side-netting, halfway up. Beautiful, and AS IT STANDS, Chelsea will finish third and Spurs will make the Europa League.
Updated
Kasper Schmeichel has just beaten away a thrash for Rashford.
But have a look! McGinn does brilliantly to beat a man outside the box and find Hourihane, who lays off first time for Grealish! He’s in! But he’s too deliberate in his finish, looking to bend for the far post and hitting it too close to Fabianski.
GOAL! Arsenal 3-1 Watford (Deeney pen 43)
Is something happening? If Watford can even arrange a one-goal defeat, that could keep them up if West Ham can beat Villa by three.
Updated
Marcus Rashford has just missed a decent chance at Leicester, passing wide after more good work from Pogba. He’s playing with good intensity today; if he could do that every week, no one would have even heard of Graeme Souness (yes that is a joke).
GOAL! Everton 1-1 Bournemouth (Kean 41)
The biggest goal of the afternoon so far! Ferguson’s Kean yanks Everton level after fine work from Seamus Coleman down the right. It’s looking good for Villa!
Updated
Eeeeesh! Soucek has missed flicking a header past Pepe Reina by a breath. Meanwhile, at the KP, a brilliant slide from Maguire has stopped Vardy sticking Thomas’s cross past De Gea.
“I know grown men (I like to think of myself as one) shouldn’t fret too much about these things,” says Digvijay Yadav. “But United losing will genuinely ruin my next month or so. Not sure football should matter this much.”
They’ve still got the Europa League with which to save themselves, if they mess up today. But the way I try and process my shame at the same is to enjoy the wins and allow the defeats to wash over me.
GOAL! Newcastle 1-1- Liverpool (Van Dijk 38)
Well that lasted longer than I thought it would.
“Very good move and excellent shot by Minamino to force a very good save by Dubravka,” says Mike MacKenzie in London, Canada. “I think Minamino will come good as he settles in.”
He looked good when I saw him in the Champions League earlier in the season, and I’m surprised he’s had so little impact. But as you say, he was bought for the future – though also because he was cheap.
Updated
At Leicester, the home side are growing into the game; United look ragged in midfield.
GOAL! Arsenal 3-0 Watford (Aubameyang 33)
Ok, Watford are gone. Amazingly, the gambit of sticking Welbeck at the apex of midfield appears not to be working.
Updated
At Leicester, Pogba has just curled a lush ball over the top for Fernandes, who chested down to score ... but he went way early, so the flag went up.
If Bournemouth can hang on at Everton, they still need West Ham to beat Villa. There’s no particular reason to think that won’t happen.
At Leicester, a brilliant slide from Ndidi stops Williams shooting and Iheanacho breaks. Pogba opts not to foul him in the centre-circle because he doesn’t want a card, but it’s three v two; Iheanacho carries the ball on, has a dig, and De Gea fumbles what should be a regulation save. He is now a very big problem for United.
GOAL! Man City 1-0 Norwich (Jesus 11)
I wonder what’ll become of Jesus. Guardiola did his best to make him first choice, except Aguero was too brilliant. Will he get the nod when Aguero calls it a day, or will City find someone better? I’d say, as someone whose team compete with them, that Jesus is the very bottom level of centre-forward I’d expect them to have, though he’s a good player.
GOAL! Southampton 0-1 Sheffield United (Lundstram 26)
More news on that as I get it.
Updated
GOAL! Arsenal 2-0 Watford (Tierney 24)
Ok, I think we can say that Watford are down. Kieran Tierney is such a joy, and that’s his first goal for his newish club.
That’s exactly what it stood for my man! U legend... get in touch I will send u my shirt from tonight. Keep fighting ❤️
— Kieran Tierney (@kierantierney1) July 18, 2020
Back at the KP, both teams look nervous at the back. Matic and Maguire have both given the ball away in dangerous positions, while United are hinting are putting one of their moves together.
At Stamford Bridge, it looks to be Wolves in the ascendancy, which is to say that it’s them in possession every time I look at that screen.
GOAL! Burnley 0-1 Brighton (Bissouma 20)
Both of these have done really well since the break, but it’s Brighton who go in front.
Updated
“Re David Silva doing nothing in Europe,” tweets Simon Frank. “Neither did Eric Cantona but that hasn’t tarnished his legacy.”
I don’t think I quite agree with this. If we’re going to criticise Cantona for anything, it’ll be that. But he also dominated the league for five seasons, which I don’t think we can say of Silva– brilliant though he’s been – and his European experience was different too. Cantona played when English clubs were still learning what they’d missed in the years for which they were banned, and his team had to leave out players because of the foreigners rule. Silva, on the other hand, played in the most lavishly-resourced team in football history, with superb, seasoned players around him, and really City should’ve won a big ears by now.
Updated
I should previously have said that at Leicester, Harry Maguire - who used to play for them, did you know? - has been booked for scissoring Kelechi Iheanacho. He’ll not have wanted that happening so early.
MONSTROUS GOAL! Everton 0-1 Bournemouth (King pen 13)
Richarlison handles and King opens his body to pass into the bottom right! Bournemouth still need West Ham to do them a favour, but it’s a start!
Updated
GOAL! Crystal Palace 0-1 Spurs (Kane 13)
You know the koo!
Updated
At West Ham, Michail Antonio has just poked past the post when in on goal - that’s a huge let-off for Villa - and at Leicester, Mason Greenwood has just nodded over the top.
“Shame Andy Carroll is not starting,” emails Paul Griffin. “I look back fondly to the all-to-brief comedy days of Suarez and Carroll playing together. When Suarez had the ball, he would draw three defenders to him using moves he learned off Riverdance, then, using special 4-D trigonometry, would slide the ball behind the defence into space. Carroll would be stock still, looking completely puzzled, like a man waiting for the 36 bus, confronted by the 36b, which isn’t even supposed to stop here. When Carroll had the ball, Suarez would make brilliant curving parabolic runs so cunning Henry Kissinger would never have countenanced the levels of constructive ambiguity, yet never received the ball. Luckily Luis has such an affable Zen-like fellow and and never reacted.”
I was at Anfield for Carroll’s debut in which Dirk Kuyt scored a hat-trick from a combined distance of 1.39 yards. Suarez’s skill to set up the first, though, was some of the most bafflingly brilliant behaviour I’ve ever seen close up. Shame about the racial abuse which followed, but.
As someone who grew up in north London, that Watford have a Premier League team will never cease to amaze me. Though not as much as the waterpark they had briefly in the 90s, which was called Watford Springs.
GOAL! Arsenal 1-0 Watford (Aubameyang pen 5)
Dawson barges Lacazette over and Aubameyang slots the penalty “with consummate ease”. Watford are in all sorts now.
Updated
At the KP, Pogba has just failed to find Martial with a clever ball around the corner; at Chelsea, Wolves are knocking it about nicely.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer could look exceedingly silly at around 6.54 tonight. Aside from the below, Romelu Lukaku and Alexis Sanchez scored Inter’s goals in a 3-0 win last night. If they meet in the Europa, things could get very funny indeed.
GOAL! Newcastle 1-0 Liverpool (Gayle 1)
Who didn’t see that one coming?
Updated
The players take a knee. All black lives matter.
Here come the various teams...
Leicester-United is here:
At the Emirates, Mikel Arteta keeps his promise by respecting the relegation battle and plays a strong team. Haydon Mullins, meanwhile, is going for it, sticking Danny Welbeck in attacking midfield, behind Troy Deeney and two wingers. You can follow that one here:
At the Etihad, David Silva makes his final league appearance for Man City. As a United fan, I’ve spent many a match watching my team’s midfield search for him fruitlessly – he’s been a brilliant player. However he’s not in my top few of anything because he’s none near enough nothing in Europe – but has a serious chance of resolving that once we’re done here.
Just heard an interview with Rodgers, who did not fill me with confidence, talking about seeing what’s what at “the final drinks break”. He sounded like a man hoping, not intending. Leicester have plahyers to hurt United, and United have looked exhausted lately, but the biggest and most obvious discrepancy between the sides is the standard of United’s attack and their defence.
Frank Lampard, meanwhile, is without the in-form Willian, who’s injured – though he notes that Christian Pulisic, who replaces him, is also in form and would’ve played anyhow. And Kepa is dropped on account of being horrendous.
Strangely, Nuno leaves out Adama Traore, which I daresay pleases Cesar Azpilicueta, who’d have been marking him. Other hand, there can’t be many you’d least like to see coming off the bench for the last 30 when blowing out your arse.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, meanwhile, asks his first XI to haul their carcasses through one more 90. Luke Shaw is injured so Brandon Williams stays in, but otherwise Nemanja Matic, who’s looked like death recently, keeps his spot – I’d have been tempted to play Scott McTominay – and so does Paul Pogba, despite an absolute mare against West Ham. And I’m not even talking about the penalty he gave away, but about how he sat off and allowed Matic to attempt playmaking.
Casting eyes over these teams, Leicester have gone for safety in numbers, and three centre-backs. They’ve had rotten luck with injuries – both first-choice full-backs are unavailable and James Maddison too, while Caglar Soyuncu is suspended for idiocy.
I can see why Brendan Rodgers has left out Ryan Bennett, who was dreadful at Spurs last week, but I’d be extremely worried about what United might do to them out wide. However, picking Hamza Choudhury looks a smart move, as he’ll patrol the pocket in which Bruno Fernandes likes to play. Otherwise, Harvey Barnes and Ayoze Perez are left out, which makes me wonder who’ll create chances for Jamie Vardy and Kelechi Iheanacho.
And finally, the Europa League. Whoever finishes fifth and sixth will be there, and if Chelsea beat Arsenal in the cup final, so will seventh. Fifth will be one of United, Chelsea and Leicester, so that’s that sorted. Wolves, meanwhile, will qualify for the Champions League if they win this year’s competition, but otherwise if they beat Chelsea; if they don’t, Spurs will overtake them with a win over Palace, if they lose at Stamford Bridge, and with a win if they draw; Palace are going for their eighth defeat in a row.
Updated
Next, “the battle for the Champions League placesTM”. A win at Leicester guarantees Man United third place, but draw is enough for Manchester United to get them back in the mix; a defeat will do it if Chelsea lose to Wolves.
Chelsea need a draw to be sure, while Leicester are ok with a draw if Chelsea lose, but otherwise need a win.
Ok, let’s start with the most important gear: the relegation battle. Norwich are down, and two of Bournemouth, Watford and Villa are going with them. Bournemouth can only do it if the other two both lose – that would be enough, because they have the same goal difference as Watford and are one behind Villa, so that combination of results would adjust it by the required amount. And they face an Everton team who are unpredictable, if we’re putting it kindly. They can do it.
Watford, meanwhile, can go down if they win, but might stay up if they lose. They’re level on points with Villa, who need only to match their result to survive. But with only a goal splitting their respective differences, if both win or both lose, how they do it will be key. Villa, though, have scored six more, so Watford need to be one better; if it’s level, they’re down. And in Arsenal, they have compliant opponents who lost to Villa in midweek and have a cup final for which to save themselves ... or they have motivated opponents who need to respond following midweek defeat, and have cup final places to win.
Villa, meanwhile, have the easiest game on the face of things, except West Ham are in form and showing no signs of abandoning it. This is going to be gloriously unpleasant.
West Ham v Aston Villa teams
West Ham: Fabianski, Johnson, Diop, Ogbonna, Fredericks, Noble, Rice, Soucek, Fornals, Bowen, Antonio. Subs: Randolph, Balbuena, Yarmolenko, Anderson, Lanzini, Wilshere, Haller, Silva, Coventry
Aston Villa: Reina, Guilbert, Konsa, Mings, Targett, Hourihane, McGinn, Luiz, Grealish, Trezeguet, Samatta. Subs: Nyland, Taylor, Lansbury, Nakamba, El Ghazi, Jota, Hause, Vassilev, Davis
Southampton v Sheffield United teams
Southampton: McCarthy, Walker-Peters, Vestergaard, Stephens, Bertrand, Romeu, Ward-Prowse, Redmond, Armstrong, Ings, Adams. Subs: Gunn, Valery, Danso, Bednarek, Vokins, Smallbone, N’Lundulu, Long, Obfaemi.
Sheffield United: Henderson, Basham, Egan, Robinson, Baldock, Berge, Lundstram, Fleck, Stevens, McBurnie, Sharp. Subs: Moore, Jagielka, Rodwell, K Freeman, Norwood, Osborn, Clark, Zivkovic.
Newcastle v Liverpool teams
Newcastle: Dubravka, Manquillo, Fernandez, Rose, Ritchie, Bentaleb, Shelvey, Lazaro, Almiron, Saint-Maximin, Gayle. Subs: Darlow, Carroll, Joelinton, Muto, Hayden, Yedlin, S Longstaff, Watts, Young.
Liverpool: Alisson, Williams, Gomez, Van Dijk, Robertson, Keita, Milner, Wijnaldum, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Minamino, Origi. Subs: Adrian, Fabinho, Firmino, Mane, Salah, Shaqiri, Jones, Alexander-Arnold, Elliott.
Man City v Norwich teams
Man City: Ederson, Walker, Garcia, Laporte, Cancelo, Rodri, Foden, De Bruyne, D. Silva, Sterling, Jesus. Subs: Carson, Stones, Otamendi, Mendy, Zinchenko, Fernandinho, Gundogan, Mahrez, B. Silva.
Norwich: Krul, Aarons, Godfrey, Zimmermann, Lewis, McLean, Rupp, Stiepermann, Hernandez, Cantwell, Pukki. Subs: McGovern, Mair, Vrancic, Idah, Thomas, Famewo, Adshead, Martin.
Leicester v Man United
Leicester: Schmeichel, Morgan, Evans, Justin, Thomas, Ndidi, Tielemans, Choudhury, Albrighton, Vardy, Iheanacho. Subs: Ward, Gray, Barnes, James, Perez, Mendy, Praet, Bennett, Hirst.
Man Utd: De Gea, Wan-Bissaka, Lindelof, Maguire, Williams, Pogba, Matic, Greenwood, Fernandes, Rashford, Martial. Subs: Romero, Fosu-Mensah, McTominay, Fred, Lingard, Mata, James, Ighalo, Bailly.
Everton v Bournemouth teams
Everton: Pickford, Digne, Coleman, Branthwaite, Keane, Gomes, Davies, Sigurdsson, Richarlison, Walcott, Kean. Subs: Stekelenburg, Virginia, Baines, Calvert-Lewin, Sidibe, Bernard, Baningime, Gordon, Simms.
Bournemouth: Ramsdale, Kelly, Rico, Steve Cook, Smith, Lerma, Gosling, Brooks, King, Solanke, Wilson. Subs: Boruc, Ake, Danjuma, Lewis Cook, Stacey, Stanislas, Wilson, Billing, Surridge.
Crystal Palace v Spurs teams
Spurs: Lloris, Aurier, Alderweireld, Dier, Davies, Winks, Sissoko, Lo Celso, Moura, Son, Kane. Subs: Gazzaniga, Vertonghen, Sanchez, Lamela, Sessegnon, Alli, Bergwijn, Skipp, Tanganga.
Palace: Guaita, Ward, Dann, Mitchell, Schlupp, Townsend, Kouyate, McCarthy, McArthur, Zaha, Ayew. Subs: Hennessey, Milivojevic, Meyer, Kelly, Woods, Kirby, Pierrick, Gordon, Riedewald.
Chelsea v Wolves teams
Chelsea: Caballero; Azpilicueta, Zouma, Rudiger, James, Jorginho, Kovacic, Alonso, Pulisic, Giroud, Mount. Subs: Kepa, Christensen, Emerson, Tomori, Loftus-Cheek, Pedro, Barkley, Hudson-Odoi, Abraham.
Wolves: Patricio, Boly, Coady, Saiss, Doherty, Neves, Dendoncker, Jonny, Neto, Jimenez, Jota. Subs: Ruddy, Kilman, Buur, Vinagre, Jordao, Gibbs-White, Moutinho, Traore, Podence.
Burnley v Brighton teams
Burnley: Pope, Bardsley, Long, Tarkowski, Pieters; Gudmundsson, Westwood, Brownhill; Rodriguez, Wood. Subs: Peacock-Farrell, Thomas, Glennon, Mumbongo, Dunne, Benson, Goodridge, Thompson, Brady, Vydra,
Brighton: Ryan; Lamptey, Dunk, Webster, Burn; March, Bissouma, Stephens, Mac Allister; Connolly, Maupay. Subs: Button, Montoya, Bernardo, Mooy, Propper, Trossard, Gross, Jahanbakhsh, Murray.
Arsenal v Watford teams
Arsenal: Martinez; Maitland-Niles, Luiz, Holding, Tierney; Xhaka, Willock, Ceballos; Pepe, Lacazette, Aubameyang. Subs: Macey, Sokratis, Cedric, Kolasinac, Torreira, Smith, Saka, Nelson, Nketiah.
Watford: Foster; Femenía, Kabasele, Dawson, Masina; Doucouré, Hughes, Welbeck; Sarr, Deeney, Pereyra. Subs: Gomes, Mariappa, Cleverley, Chalobah, Cathcart, Joao Pedro, Gray, Quina, Pussetto.
Right, let’s rack up the team news, then we can get on with what’s at stake here.
Preamble
What the expletive is going on? Yes, this question which has vexed humanity since the dawn of time, but also, rarely has it been as pertinent as it is now. And, of course – like everything else – it has a football application.
It’s possible to look at the game’s return as a sop to the money men, but that is needlessly and pointlessly reductive. Professional sport makes for a short career, and the players deserve every opportunity to do their thing; the livelihoods of thousands of low-paid workers rely on clubs being able to pay them; and so does the heritage and identity of those whose clubs are at risk.
As for the rest of us, I can only speak for myself, but after all the aggravation of corona, I felt the tonic of muttering “Come on Reds!” to myself at random moments of the day; enjoyed having enjoyable things to think about in quiet moments or times of insomnia; appreciated the returned rhythm of life. Obviously it’s not been everything, but it’s definitely been something and, as Ryan Giggs would say, “I’d’ve took it.”
There’s a lot going on this afternoon – more of which as we move on – but AS IT STANDS these are our headlines:
Arsenal v Watford
Burnley v Brighton & Hove Albion
Chelsea v Wolverhampton Wanderers
Crystal Palace v Tottenham Hotspur
Everton v AFC Bournemouth
Leicester City v Manchester United
Manchester City v Norwich City
Newcastle United v Liverpool
Southampton v Sheffield United
West Ham United v Aston Villa
Kick-off: 4pm BST
Updated
