A British man who was told that his late husband’s status would be recorded as “never married” on a death certificate in South Australia has received a personal apology from the state’s premier.
Marco Bulmer-Rizzi, 38, whose husband died on their honeymoon in Adelaide, was distraught when he learned that as their marriage was not recognised in the state the wording must appear even though the couple, both British citizens, had married legally in London.
David Bulmer-Rizzi, 32, a charity worker, died on Saturday from severe head injuries after falling down the stairs at a house where the couple were staying in the city. Australia has not legalised same-sex marriage, and while overseas same-sex marriages are recognised in some states, South Australia is not one of them.
As outrage grew, Jay Weatherill, premier of South Australia, telephoned Bulmer-Rizzi to apologise and assure him he would work to bring about change to avoid the situation arising again in the future.
Marco Bulmer-Rizzi told BuzzFeed News: “They are looking to actively change it through legislation and he told me it would happen in the next few months. He promised me that they would reissue the death certificate once that has happened.”
As Bulmer-Rizzi was not recognised as next-of-kin, decisions over his husband’s death have had to be approved by his father-in-law, Nigel Bulmer, 60, who flew out from the UK.
Bulmer said: “It’s degrading. It demeans my son’s memory and denies their relationship. It’s cast them as second-class citizens. No one should ever have to go through what we’ve gone through. We’re at the bottom and somebody has dug a deeper pit.”
BREAKING: Bulmer-Rizzi tells me the South Australia Premier called him to apologise, promised to change law + issue new death certificate.
— Patrick Strudwick (@PatrickStrud) January 20, 2016
The couple, who had been together for five years and were living in Sunderland, married in a registry office in Wandsworth, south London, in June 2015, followed by a ceremony on the Greek island of Santorini. They arrived in Australia in late December for their honeymoon.
Bulmer-Rizzi, who works in e-learning, said he had gone to bed before his husband but heard an “awful noise” and found him lying at the bottom of the stairs “in a bloodbath”. Paramedics took him to hospital, where his condition was pronounced critical, and Bulmer-Rizzi contacted his husband’s parents, who flew out immediately.
After receiving the news that his husband, who suffered severe head injuries, was brain dead, Bulmer-Rizzi told doctors he would have wished for his organs to be donated, which was done. David died the following day, he said.
Bulmer-Rizzi said: “When the funeral director came, that’s when I was told that because Australia doesn’t recognise same-sex marriage it [the death certificate] will say ‘never married’. I asked at that point whether it was possible to say nothing [about his marital status] and I was told ‘No, that’s not one of the drop-down options on the computer’.
“I couldn’t refuse. There was nothing I could have done. They wouldn’t say ‘married’. They wouldn’t leave it blank. They would only say ‘never married’,” he told the website.
He said he was then “completely overlooked” as he was not next of kin, and every decision – whether he wanted his husband cremated, or wanted a service, even the cost of the coffin – was put to his father-in-law, who stressed: “Marco is David’s husband. He is the one [to make these decisions].
Bulmer said he was “horrified and deeply hurt” by the fact the words “never married” would appear on the certificate. “It’s not acceptable. It’s also not true. I was there,” he told the website.
Advocates for marriage equality in South Australia called on the state’s government to join Tasmania, Victoria, New South Wales and Queensland in recognising overseas marriages.
“Most South Australians would find it appalling that our law has failed to recognise the love and commitment in David and Marco’s relationship,” said Harley Schumann, South Australian convenor for Australian Marriage Equality. “A high priority for us is lobbying the South Australian government so this can’t happen again”.
Bulmer-Rizzi said on Weatherill’s promise: “I thank him. It’s such an acknowledgement, coming from the top of the state.” He said his late husband “probably would be proud”, adding: “I don’t know if David would even believe it. The fact that through him maybe this is never going to happen to somebody else is such a good thing.”
