Pregnancy already turns your body into a sci-fi experiment from random cravings, zero bladder space, to ankles doing a disappearing act. So imagine waddling into a family BBQ just hoping for grilled corn and maybe some uninterrupted sitting time only to be handed three hyper kids to look after.
However, when today’s Original Poster (OP) dared to draw the line, the response wasn’t gratitude, it was guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and some racist comments aimed at her and her unborn child.
More info: Reddit
Pregnancy is supposed to be a time of nesting, naps, and craving questionable food combos, not dodging unpaid babysitting shifts and family drama
Image credits: Jeferson Santu / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author, who never planned to be a parent, finds herself constantly asked by her sister-in-law to babysit three young kids despite a large extended family being available
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Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
At a family BBQ, she ended up stuck alone with the kids for over two hours while her sister-in-law disappeared to socialize and drink
Image credit: RAReady-setgooo
Image credits: katemangostar / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she set a firm boundary, the sister-in-law responded with racist remarks, and shockingly, her husband and in-laws sided against her
Image credit: RAReady-setgooo
Image credits: photogenia / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Fed up and emotionally drained, she tried to quietly leave her toxic in-laws, but her sister-in-law dropped the kids on her porch near an unsafe pool
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Image credits: nikitabuida / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author called the police, only for her mother-in-law to show up, hurling insults, and nearly getting violent before being stopped
Image credit: RAReady-setgooo
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her husband came home furious, threatened her, and kicked off a final round of insults and demanded a divorce
Image credit: RAReady-setgooo
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, she pressed charges, left the house, and is now safe, supported, and preparing for motherhood on her own terms
The OP never saw herself as a kid person until she got pregnant. While her heart changed for her baby, it didn’t extend to everyone else’s, but her sister-in-law, a single mom with three young kids, apparently didn’t get the memo. Despite having a large family network, the sister-in-law always called on only her to babysit for free, even as her due date loomed near.
Working part-time from home and being heavily pregnant made things harder. But her sister-in-law kept asking and pushing the idea that helping out was “just what family does”. So recently at a family barbecue, the OP reluctantly helped only to end up stuck managing her sister-in-law’s three kids for over two hours while she partied with the grown-ups.
After a hectic time which left the OP breathless, the sister-in-law returned and joked that she wouldn’t mind giving her kids off to the OP, but this was where she drew a line: she loved them as family, but didn’t sign up to parent them. That’s when things turned nasty. The sister-in-law lashed out with racial insults, calling her lazy and adding that her newborn baby would just be a “burden”.
When the OP’s husband and mother-in-law heard about what happened, they sided with the sister-in-law and painted her as selfish for not “stepping up”. When one of the OP’s nieces tried to help her do something, the family insisted she do it all herself because she was the adult. Feeling disrespected and dangerously stressed, she finally snapped.
To understand why some family members struggle to accept boundaries, even reasonable ones like not babysitting while heavily pregnant, Bored Panda spoke with licensed marriage and family therapist Steph Anya who explained that, often, it’s not about the boundary itself but what it symbolizes within the family dynamic.
“In some families, saying ‘no’ can shake up long-standing roles, especially in families where expectations run deep and unspoken,” she said. They added that to some, refusing can feel like rejection or loss of control, even if it’s perfectly reasonable.
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, Anya emphasized that setting firm boundaries is an act of self-respect. “While it might cause some initial tension, that discomfort often leads to healthier, more balanced relationships over time.”
We also asked about the emotional toll of being constantly expected to “step up” during late pregnancy, and she noted how draining this can be physically and emotionally. “You’re already managing the intense physical and hormonal demands of growing a baby, so extra responsibilities can make you feel overwhelmed and sidelined,” she explained.
This often brings feelings of guilt for wanting to rest and even resentment toward those who ignore your limits. “Protecting yourself in that moment is a vital act of self-respect when you need it most.”
Finally, we wanted to know what kind of emotional support pregnant people should be receiving from their partners and families, and Anya highlighted the importance of empathy and validation. “Partners and family should offer empathy without being asked, validate all feelings, even the messy ones, and step in without accusations or guilt-tripping,” she said.
According to Anya, it’s about listening more than fixing, encouraging rest, and respecting boundaries, whether that means alone time or saying no to extra demands. Real support, she concluded, “creates a safe space where pregnant people feel emotionally held, not overwhelmed or drained by others’ expectations.”
Netizens urged the OP to leave immediately and return to her support system before giving birth. They emphasized that once the baby is born, custody and relocation could become more difficult. There was also a strong consensus that the real issue wasn’t just the sister-in-law, but a deeper problem with the husband’s enabling and the family’s racist behavior.
What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would you set boundaries or try to keep the peace for the sake of family? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens criticized the author’s husband for enabling his family’s behavior, and also insisted that she leave and go back to her support system
