In one seven-day spell, all the chickens belonging to rapper/actor DMX have come home to roost. It seems that in Arizona, you're not allowed to speed, abuse dogs and keep marijuana. Sooner or later, you will get arrested.
DMX's lousy week began with an arrest on Tuesday for criminal speeding, public endangerment, reckless driving and ... driving on a suspended licence.
When he posted bail and climbed back into his yellow 1966 Chevrolet, the rapper - real name Earl Simmons - probably thought that his week could only get better. He was mistaken. On Friday morning, Maricopa County sheriffs burst into his Cave Creek, Arizona home in an effort to arrest the rapper on suspicion of animal cruelty and drug possession.
At this point, according to reports, DMX hid from sheriffs in his bedroom. It's unclear whether his preferred cache was behind the curtains, inside the closet, or under his bed. Officers meanwhile confiscated weapons and marijuana - allegedly packaged for sale - and when the rapper emerged he was arrested and later charged and bailed on a $7,500 (£3,800) bond. His court date is May 15.
Their raid stemmed from an incident in August, when deputies made a similar appearance at DMX's home and found 12 malnourished dogs - not to mention another three who were not simply malnourished but entirely deceased, buried in the back yard.
On Friday deputies found five more pitbull puppies. These dogs were taken away and according to Sheriff Joe Arpaio, will be cared for by local prisoners. This doesn't make us so confident about Maricopa County animal welfare practices.
"This was a tough case," Arpaio said. "We were not in a rush; we put a lot of time on it but you don't rush into an investigation."
Deputies also served a search warrant at Phoenix's Mayo Clinic in connection with a potential fraud scheme involving DMX. Details of this investigation have not yet been made public.
While it's most likely that DMX is simply a naughty man who abuses his pets, we're charmed by the idea of a larger conspiracy - something involving hip-hop, dogs, medical clinics and a vintage Chevy. Maybe Sheriff Arpaio should get Keanu Reeves on the case.
