We're keeping it skimpy on this week's Casting the News. Peter Stringfellow, silver-locked, satin-bedsheeted sex god, was in parliament today, campaigning against proposed legislation that means lap-dancing clubs will have to be licensed as "sex encounter establishments". How the mighty are fallen - Peter sent cap in hand to the Commons, rather than neatly tucking a fifty into someone's cleavage.
Stringfellow's colleague, Simon Warr, chairman of the Lap Dancing Association, claimed that lap-dancing clubs weren't arenas of sexual stimulation. Yeah, right. When MPs were rightly sceptical, Stringfellow made a stirring speech championing his pal.
Given that moving performance - a real moment for human rights litigation - we're seeing this as an impassioned legal saga: Erin Brockovich meets A Few Good Men, with just a hint of Showgirls, or Shortbus.
Setting-wise, it'd be mainly in a courtroom, cutting back occasionally to a non-erotic strip-joint in which people shed their clothes in a mood of listless apathy. Not convinced about the realism? Well, there's a silver lining: at least there would be no need for a scene depicting boss Peter getting his kicks.
But are we barking up the wrong pole? Should this be a good ol' fashioned romance borne out of adversity? Or, even, grindhouse ...?
What we need:
Peter Stringfellow (we're tentatively suggesting Vanessa Redgrave)
Simon Warr, chairman of the Lap Dancing Association
Nadine Stravonia de Montagnac, the ex-stripper who testified that lap-dancers are lured into employment through false pretences
A genre
A title
Ready, set, cast!
