“Breadcrumbing” is a common dating tactic that involves giving someone small increments of attention to keep them hooked.
However, when you’re thick in the romance of it all, it’s hard to tell. Luckily, TikToker Ingrid (@ingridexplainsitall) is here to break it down for you, as she presents viewers with some surefire signs that a man is “breadcrumbing” you.
What’s ‘breadcrumbing?’
The first sign, he says, is when they react to your text rather than responding. “That’s a dry text,” she declared. “That’s a breadcrumber.”
“Obviously, there are one-off scenarios,” she added. “Don’t come at me and be like, ‘Oh, but my man does that every so often.’ You know what I mean.'”
She then went on to the second one, which is when they only respond to one part of the text when you multi-text.
Thirdly, there’s the use of abbreviations in texts, like saying ‘nm’ instead of ‘not much.’ “If you hate me, just say that!” Ingrid despaired.
And then there’s the final one. “What you will find is that you will not hear from them for like 24 or 48 hours, whatever amount of time, and then you’ll get the middle-of-the-night call or text, they’re hitting you with that slice of bread.” she concludes. “OK, because the little crumbs aren’t working anymore, but it’s still breadcrumbing. Stop accepting that and move on.”
The clip about the dating tactic amassed 617,500 views.
Ingrid didn’t immediately respond to The Mary Sue’s request for comment via TikTok comment and email.
What did commenters say about the toxic dating tactic?
In the comments, users were very much on the same page as Ingrid.
“When breadcrumbing starts please leave immediately,” one commenter wrote. “This is what causes an addiction to toxic people.”
“No to late night texting,” another added. “I would block them.”
Also sharing advice, a third commenter said, “Just reply ‘boring’ and go silent.”
While a fourth shared, “When my avoidant breadcrumbed me I just called him out for it and he blocked me.”
@ingridexplainsitall You cna do better girlie pop .. and My skin is currently porcelain!! FIVE STARS ⭐️ #drleo #deepcleanse #oilcontrol #datingtipsforwomen ♬ original sound – ✨Ingrid’s World ✨
What should you do if you get breadcrumbed?
If you find yourself getting breadcrumbed, an article on Wondermind suggests a number of options.
One option is to confront them directly. As Wondermind points out, they’ll either genuinely apologize and be unaware of these actions or try to deflect it back on you. The latter is a huge dating red flag and a surefire sign you should run.
Another is to do some “soul-searching” and learn more about yourself and your attachment style, and why that might make you more susceptible to behaviors like breadcrumbing.
Equally, the article adds that it’s important not to take it personally or see it as a reflection on you, while a fourth option is to clearly state your communication expectations to this person.
Finally, Wondermind says that you need to stop romanticizing the “potential” of the relationship and to start living in reality, which, I’m sure Ingrid will agree, is pretty solid advice.
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