RAFFLE BAFFLE
The Fiver likes nothing better than to sit down for an evening in front of the TV watching adverts for gambling websites, broken up by the irritating sports broadcasts they invariably punctuate. Whether it’s getting our “in-play on” with the giant disembodied head of an overweight c0ckney spiv or just a bit of “wot you after” with a generic stunnah and her $tevie Mbe-impersonating sidekick, we particularly enjoy the insincere post-script in which we are advised to please “enjoy gambling responsibly”. To the Fiver’s ears, the subtext is clear: “Please gamble as fecklessly as possible”.
One football club who didn’t gamble responsibly is Sky Bet Championship side Nottingham Forest, currently ninth in the Sky Bet Championship table, who were hit with a transfer embargo preventing them from signing any new players during the January transfer window, having been found to be in breach of FFP rules after recording losses last season, when they were also in the Sky Bet Championship. Still, having shipped losses like that it’s not as if they had a spare couple of hundred grand knocking around with which to splurge on reinforcements next month, eh?
Oh.
This morning at Wembley, in a ceremony hosted by an excitable Scotsman and the woman in a yellow dress who sits beside him on television, the names of nine clubs nominated to win a £250,000 transfer kitty from Sky Bet by various supporters who like a punt were thrown in a tombola and given a good swirl. And in a state of affairs that was in no way embarrassing or awkward for the Sky Bet Football League, or any satellite television company associated with it, the independent Football League director Richard Bowker proceeded to draw Nottingham Forest, who, like many clubs, got a little bit too greedy during the Sky era and are now paying the price.
“It’s been great that our title sponsors Sky Bet and all 72 Football League clubs have come together, and it has seen a response from over 70,000 fans,” said Football League chief executive Shaun Harvey, who knows a thing or two about clubs which have sailed close to the financial wind. “Nottingham Forest will be very worthy winners and can use the money for loan fees or loan-players’ wages, but not for transfer fees.” Whether or not they’re allowed to irresponsibly stick the lot on Chelsea to beat their hated rivals Derby County 3-0 in the Milk Cup at the odds of 10-1 being offered by the Sky Bet Championship sponsors tonight remains unclear, but the Fiver thinks it’s worth a punt.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE TONIGHT
Join Jacob Steinberg from 7.45pm GMT for MBM coverage of Derby 0-3 Chelsea in the Coca-Cola Cup.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
10.12am, 15 December: “Good morning. Yes, bad result on Sat. Read your messages reflecting over weekend. Embracing challenge to turn it around. We can do it together” – Reading boss and recent Twitter arrival Nigel Adkins gets his social media on in the wake of the 6-1 defeat at Birmingham.
5.35pm, 15 December: Reading decide they can’t do it together and sack him. Steve Clarke has since been appointed boss.
FIVER LETTERS
“I don’t know if Gazprom has been riffed on before, but, in spite of the current geopolitical tensions and the fact that it represents the rampant commercialisation of football, I think the thing I find most upsetting about their Big Cup advert is the fact that an attacking player seems to be closing down the keeper in the box for a goal-kick. Surely we all know that the ball does not become live until it leaves the 18-yard box, meaning that the ad’s creators either are unaware of the rules or just don’t care. Yours huffily” – Michael Turner.
“I spotted this yesterday and thought you should be made aware. It might go some way to explaining why Louis van Gaal said that Falcao can only play 20 minutes per game” – David Lovett [other apps are available – Fiver Ed].
• Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet the Fiver. Today’s winner of our letter o’the day is: Michael Turner, who gets two copies of The Secret Footballer’s Guide to the Modern Game.
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BITS AND BOBS
Thierry Henry has announced his retirement from playing to take up a role with Sky Sports. “I hope you have enjoyed watching as much as I have enjoyed taking part,” he suaved, as a fuming horde of O’Ireland fans set off for Osterley. “See you on the other side …”
In news that won’t surprise anyone, Fifa has rejected Michael Garcia’s appeal against the findings of his summary which cleared Qatar and Russia to host the World Cup, while also ignoring the complaints of two whistleblowers who claim their confidentiality was breached. “The disciplinary committee’s avoidance of this undisputable violation is emblematic of its culture of self-protection,” sniffed Phaedra Almajid.
Neymar apparently called time on Manchester City’s interest in him last year due to the state of England’s muddy pitches. Perhaps he was scared of not being able to [no – Fiver Ed].
Liverpool boss Brendan Rodgers insists that he hasn’t lost the dressing room. “Unrest is totally untrue,” he roared. “Our spirit is very strong and, once we get that break, we will show that.”
Queen’s Celtic winger Aleksandar Tonev has lost his appeal against a seven-match ban for using racist language.
And FA communications director Adrian Bevington has stepped down after 17 years with the organisation. “While it is a disappointment to leave without England winning a major trophy, I am convinced the foundations for success are now in place,” he honked.
RECOMMENDED VIEWING
Goals of the week, featuring Neymar, Robben … and Plymouth Argyle?
WIN! WIN! WIN!
A bumper crop of Premier League (home) tickets up for grabs over the festive period: West Ham v Leicester, Hull v Leicester, West Ham v Arsenal and Stoke v Manchester United. Enter now!
STILL WANT MORE?
“According to the terms of his contract with United, if the club were to secure promotion in any of the three seasons after his arrival, they would immediately and without delay give him a pub” – you’ll want to read the Forgotten Story of Frank Barson, by Simon Burnton.
It’s the Gallery of 2014, from you, dear reader.
Your latest dose of David Squires splendidness.
Are European giants exploiting US soccerball or improving it? Timothy Pratt investigates.
Is Thierry Henry the best forward of the Premier League era? Vote in our poll and vent.
Oh, and if it’s your thing, you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace.
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