The Tokyo Olympics would have started next week. If that's a slightly demoralising thought, don't worry. There's always the Mind Sports Olympiad to look forward to.
This event is usually held in London, but the pandemic put paid to that - just like the actual Olympics.
With no need for a venue, organisers aren't charging entry fees. Plus they're pushing for "more diversity" among competitors, while trying to attract "anyone with a passion for tabletop gaming or stretching their mental muscles".
So, what exactly is the Mind Sports Olympiad?
Well, it's a tournament for games such as chess, Scrabble, draughts, checkers and bridge.
There's also "exam-style events" for sudoku, creative thinking, intelligence challenges, mental calculations, a quiz and speed reading.
Plus there's a whole heap of other games we've never heard of like Settlers of Catan, Ticket to Ride, The Castles of Burgundy and Stone Age.
There's no Connect Four or Uno, which is a shame because they were our specialties.
The event will be held in August. Visit msoworld.com for more information.
As for the real Olympics, they've been postponed until next year.
A Ship Named Sandy
The Port of Newcastle says the ship once known as the Pasha Bulker is now named the Anthea.
Some folks had suggested it was now named the RTM Drake, which is presently moored in the Port of Newcastle.
Anyhow, a Port spokesperson said the Pasha Bulker - which was beached at Nobbys in the 2007 storm - was renamed Drake before being renamed Anthea.
Topics reckons it should be renamed Sandy.
As for Anthea's whereabouts, well, she's moored in Sao Luis Port in Brazil.
Hanging Out at Stockton
A Topics spy was out and about at Stockton on Tuesday morning, checking how the beach was holding up in the wild weather.
Our spy spotted some big waves, along with a small and unusual gathering of characters sitting around a sign that says "Welcome to My Home".
Home sweet home, hey.
Non-Viral Jokes
We saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. So we asked, "What's the word on the street?"
Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space.
Why did the chicken go to the seance? To get to the other side.
