Platinum bland

Good to see that the League of Vapid Girl Broadcasters has a presence backstage. The unenigmatic Fearne Cotton, Cat Deeley and Edith Bowman, who are covering the show for BBC1 and Radio 1, have been taking up valuable screen moments - moments of our lives that we'll never be able to recover - squealing, "I'm really excited!" (Cotton) and "You think, 'Oh, my God!'" (Bowman). Ahoy there, ladies: amass your intellectual firepower and persuade us that you're not just irritating amalgams of hair extensions and stupidly expensive jeans.