You know a political event has got cut-through when your elderly Indian parents call you from their holiday in Italy to ask “Has Sooze Grays been published yet?” We thought we had seen and heard it all regarding partygate but apparently not.
As if suitcases of booze, brawls and breaking a child’s swing (Wilf’s, not the Prime Minister’s) wasn’t bad enough, we now learn of regular Friday drinkies in the press office, apparently often attended by the Prime Minister, known as “wine time” — which sounds like a menopausal podcast. And Friday wine time took place at 4pm. Who has regular drinks at 4pm? Unless you’re on a cruise? A booze cruise in this case. At least have the courtesy of waiting at bit and cracking open the Chablis at 6pm like normal people working from home do.
Of course we are regularly told by Tory MPs that no group of human beings were working harder anywhere in the country that these brave soldiers at Downing Street and that they had some really tough decisions to make — like red or white? Oooh. But the sun’s out — would be criminal not to have some icy cold rosé… The struggle was real.
We then have the photo of the Prime Minister raising a glass at what was clearly a party. He was asked in Parliament whether this party had happened and replied “no” with some considerable confidence. Cut to 126 fines later. But you know all this. Of course all of this behaviour sounds — and is — embarrassing, immoral and entirely the opposite of responsible, serious, ethical leadership. But to coin a phrase, nothing has changed and nothing will. Polls last night showed that two-thirds of voters think the Prime Minister should quit if he’s criticised in Sue Gray’s report, but we all know he won’t.
And it doesn’t matter what we think because Tory MPs are the only people who can challenge Boris Johnson and they won’t. They are far from happy but lack the courage, organisation and a clear successor to do the right thing, if not for the country, then for themselves. If the Conservatives lose the next two by-elections in the Red and Blue wall following significant losses at the local elections — suddenly the blond bombshell is looking less like an election-winning machine and more like an electoral liability. But don’t hold your breath. The Prime Minister is going nowhere. He will burble his apologies then laugh it all off at the 1922 Committee.
We know the drill. He may be out the woods with his MPs, but the cost of living crisis looms large. Can a U-turn on the windfall tax save him? Or will it be too little, too late? Or will a Brexit row or a fight about trans people or statues be detonated as favoured distractions? Whatever the reset strategy, while the Prime Minister and his team demand the world moves on, thousands of people will never forget the sacrifices they made and the people they lost while No 10 partied, lied and took us all for eejits.
In other news...
It’s hard to describe my love for the Derry Girls, which had its season finale last week. Writer Lisa McGee and her brilliant cast have created a truly golden piece of television which combines such warmth, charm and humour against the backdrop of the Troubles in Northern Ireland. For me, star of the show is religious icon and ultimate nun boss Sister Michael, played by the brilliant Siobhán McSweeney, above, who stole every scene with an eye-roll and savage comment. I was lucky enough to interview her this weekend. She was just as hilarious in real life but also made the point about how ignorant we have been about Northern Irish history and politics. She’s right. The last five minutes of Derry Girls taught us more about the Good Friday Agreement than all the ignorant rows over the years about Brexit. I would make it compulsory viewing, especially for our politicians.
