Johnny Depp is back as Captain Jack Sparrow in the fifth (fifth!) instalment of Disney’s swashbuckling series. The plot is nominal, and so are the film’s first 90 minutes (Paul McCartney cameo included). Boring and noisy, they parrot their predecessors – ugly, murky CGI visuals, and inane, sexist jokes alike. The introduction of astronomer and horologist Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) as the smart one is a thin attempt to excuse the quips about her knickers, of which there are several. Javier Bardem doesn’t even seem to be having any fun hamming it up as villainous Spaniard Salazar. The film’s final stretch very nearly redeems things, with an excursion to a glittering island and an almost exciting underwater battle, but its corny, sequel-baiting ending pushed me overboard.
