Barrels of laughs ... containers on Branscombe beach. Photograph: Barry Batchelor/PA
Hello there land lubbers, it's that salty old sea dog Moore here - live from Branscombe beach.; dodging the police and blogging on a brand new Apple Mac that's just washed ashore. Well actually I'm in Kilburn looking after my daughter who has got chickenpox, and watching an awful film called Cars. Spiritually though, I am in Devon, exercising my ancient rights of salvage
It makes me proud to see British people thronging down to our sacred shores, to help clean up another environmental disaster caused by greedy capitalists overloading their vessels, then not being able to sail them in a straight line. OK, it was quite windy, but hey - that's global warming caused by greedy capitalists for you.
I don't for a minute believe that hazardous materials are falling off the MSC Napoli, unless they mean hazardous to the wealth of their insurers. It is well known, that BMW Motorcycles are among the safest vehicles on the road when driven responsibly. It might be dangerous to present your loved one with a bottle of perfume when she finds out that it has fallen off the back of a ship, but it's more romantic than purchasing it online.
Not surprisingly, opinion is split over the legality of helping yourself to the booty of this maritime windfall, with words such as "looting" and "scavenging" replacing the more genteel "beachcombing". Of course, if an individual's personal possessions are taken and not returned, it's a different matter, but to watch the good and industrious folk of Devon doing what they have done for centuries seems completely natural.
It's not as if they lit a beacon to entice the ship onto the rocks - like they used to. Nobody can be hanged at Exeter Assizes for stealing cat food and exhaust pipes. The Napoli was over-laden and abandoned in a rough sea, then beached when it could have been towed to safety. For the inconvenience of having your beach wrecked - not to mention the serious potential damage to wildlife from any oil spillage, making a few quid while breathing in the briny Devon air seems perfectly reasonable.
What seems to have upset the authorities is that they were caught off-guard, and had not managed to regulate private salvaging out of existence. Being employed to hand out honesty forms to those on the beach can't have been the greatest job in the world.
Of course the police will seal off the area due to apparent "concerns over public safety", but then again, if the wind changes, the containers will wash up somewhere else. It's Whiskey Galore all over again and we should enjoy it. Let's all put on an eye patch and a false beard, and head down to the beach.
