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The Guardian - US
The Guardian - US
Entertainment
Brian Moylan

Peter Pan Live! - as it happened

Allison Williams
Allison Williams: the dreamer Photograph: NBC

That's all folks.

Well, what a bunch of hours that was! What did we learn? Well, Allison Williams can sing better than Christopher Walken, but he can dance better. Flying on TV can actually look pretty cool, even when you can see the wires. A man in a crocodile suit is the most terrifying thing on earth. And Kelli O’Hara needs to be in the next NBC Live musical that they do. (South Pacific LIVE!)

But really, as long and draggy and nonsensical as the show was, NBC didn’t spare any expense with the talent or production and they really pulled it off. Next time, let’s hope they choose a bit better source material. Maybe they can convince Grease that it’s time for an extravaganza.

Thanks for tuning in, and that ticking you hear is a crocodile approaching. RUN!

It’s THE END! Thank Christ.

The only person who threw fairy dust on me like that was Michael Alig once at Limelight. I’m still flying.

This ending is kinda dark.

Are they leaving the end open for a sequel?

I’m definitely going to have nightmares of that damn crocodile tonight.

Dear straight people, this is Kelli O’Hara. Hashtag ItsABroadwayThing

Something deep inside me says that this is all Minnie Driver’s fault.

That crocodile is legit terrifying. I don’t blame Hook for not Walken the plank.

Never forget.

Alright, I’ll admit it. The flying has been really cool. Wires and all.

I wonder what Rufio’s up to?

I have a feeling this is what the House of Representatives looks like on most days: crooks sparring with little boys.

This is the most Walken thing I have ever seen in my life.

Christopher Walken had an Oscar before every single person in this production was born.

Bad product placement or the worst product placement. #Brands

There really are some shameless attempts to make money off the back of this

Updated

Only 30 minutes left guys. Will Melissa Joan Hart’s husband tuck me in when it’s over?

This is a Stewart slow clap just for Tink

The dry ice budget for this thing could probably buy you a New York City apartment!

Quick, get #Tinkerbell trending or she’s going to die!

Dear Jenny Johnson,

First of all, Peter Pan aired in the ‘50s. Oh, I know it was reaired, but if you’re going to go making jokes, at least make the correct. Second of all, who cares about your damn dinner plans. Some of us are having fun talking about a ridiculous LSD dream of a network musical with strange racial and sexual undertones with our friends on the internet. If you don’t like it, well, maybe you should go back to 1982.

Guys, I might be out of Peter Pan jokes!

This is a Stewart slow clap just for Tink

Mother? Oh, Mutha!
Mother? Oh, Mutha! Photograph: Stewart Cook/REX/Stewart Cook/REX

All this talk about mothers is making me think of one person.

Updated

Updated

What Is Happening?

Seriously, guys, what is happening. Hook is going to blow up Neverland and Peter and Tiger Lily have forged an alliance to take him down. Is that the gist of it?

And what the heck was up with that homoerotic production number where the boys were dragging each other around the stage and the women were embracing in mock romantic longing? I can’t even parse this anymore.

Please, Peter Pan, if you sing another lullaby, I’m going to fall asleep on my damn keyboard.

Why does Tinkerbell sound like a drunk xylophone?

If this doesn’t end in girl on girl action, I have no idea what is going on anymore.

Some people aren’t impressed with the acting

This Indian dance is making me very uncomfortable.

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Updated

For the record, I would run off with Melissa Joan Hart’s commercial husband to an island full of only men.

That crocodile is giving me serious LSD flashbacks.

Updated

Someone please send a GIF of Christopher Walken saying “Lagooooooooooon” on an infinite loop.

Strangely enough, Serial is using a similar tactic to free Adnan Sayed.

This scene with Tiger Lily look like a Lady Gaga performance art piece.

I bet you can’t find a comb like that in Claire’s.

And now there are mermaids! This is just a total rip off.

Anyone else having flashbacks?

What Is This All About?

Watching Peter Pan live I just keep thinking about subtext. Peter has a crush on Wendy but wants her to be his mother too. Pan wants Wendy to be his mother too, but is an adult. Is he really just the evil Pan all grown up?

And what are we to make of Pan and Hook taking Neverland from the indigenous people? This story should be an indictment of their behaviour but, so far, the Indians are sort of stupid pests to be ignored and overcome.

The gender norms are also awful too. The women can only tell stories and be sweet and the boys have to be rambunctious. It’s so...so...1950s.

And don’t get me started on a group of young men who only want to hang out with each other and don’t like women and flee from creepy old men with flouncy shirts who try to capture them. Sound a little gay to you?

But seriously, I have no idea what is going on at all. I can’t even figure out Allison Williams wig.

How many gays are going to go dressed as Tiger Lily for Halloween next year?

This is the best song in the whole show. Enjoy it while you can.

Vanity Fair is attempting to rank the sexiest Captain Hook:

All this show is reminding me of is “Say hi to your mother for me.”

As another dance number gets going, let’s remember this amazing Walken dance routine from King Of New York.

For the record, this is what Saturday night at most gay leather bars looks like.

Um, Wendy, SPOILER ALERT! Geez.

This is a missed opportunity for product integration with Swiffer.

Couldn’t we have had a remake of Peter Pan with Quvenzhané Wallis instead.

Someone needs to tell Peter Pan that he hits like a girl.

Someone’s pointed out the similarity between Brian Williams and Allison Williams. It’s almost as if they are related.

Peter Pan Live Update

So, boys and girls, children of all ages, we’re about an hour into Peter Pan Live. What is happening? Well, I’m not even sure. The Darling children ran off with Peter. Captain Hook wants to kill Peter so he can get a pink umbrella. The Lost Boys are sending the Native Neverlandians on a trail of tears. And now Captain Hook is going to try to poison everyone with a cake? Has he listened to MacAurthur Park too many times.

So far the best thing has been just about everyone’s accents and the worst part has been...I don’t know. Allison William’s wig? All of the songs in the nursery? The creep in the alligator costume? I don’t know. Still two more hours.

Tonight the part of the alligator is being paid by Tilda Swinton on muscle relaxers.

Walmart have come up with this handy pirate name generator. It’s not quite as good as the John Travolta name generator or the original, and best, Wu-Tang name generator.

According to the Guardian news room, Smee’s accent is from Doncaster, and is quite authentic.

The set of Peter Pan Live sort of looks like the Golden Girl’s wallpaper.

What you don’t know is that the producers had to borrow that chair from the estate of Michael Jackson.

Is this number called Manifest Destiny?

This is what legalising gay marriage gets you, ladies and gentlemen.

I have porn movies that start with a group of sailors doing a tap number.

Updated

Is Christopher Walken rapping this song? Is this Hip Hop Hook?

Miley Pan?
Miley Pan? Photograph: Matt Boster/REX/Matt Boster/REX

For the rest of the show, I’m just going to imagine Miley as Peter Pan.

Christopher Walken’s makeup is giving me Marie Antoinette realness.

This show needs more cowbell.

And now, a word from our sponsors.

Clarissa! How’s Ferguson?

How are they accomplishing all of these state of the art special effects?

Think happy thoughts: 11:01pm. I’M FLYING!!!

I feel like “I’m Flying” has a totally different resonance in Colorado and Washington.

Allison Williams was on The Wire?

User avatar for Patrick Eaton

Have high hopes for this version! Can't wait to see who plays the alligator! LOL!

Patrick we’re with you, sir. Our money is on Bill Murray.

Finally those kids are waking up. Who dosed those kids?!

There are lots of fairies in Neverland. New York City too.

None of the Cast of Girls is Watching Peter Pan Live

So what are the other cast members from Girls up to tonight?

Lena Dunham isn’t tweeting about it.

Jemima Kirke is dressing up like a Lost Boy, accidentally apparently

Zosia Mamet is being exposed to some mind-altering things


Andrew Rannells is tweeting about his experience at Newark Airport

So zero Twitter support for Allison.

Updated

Booze seems to be the way a lot of people are getting through this and some of the drinking games are excellent. Here’s a run down of the best liquor rules:

Decider.com went slapstick:
Take Two Drinks: Any time Captain Hooks hook falls off
Chug-a-wug: Any time Allison Williams’ lips look tired from maintaining a British accent.

Billboard’s approach was actually pretty serious…
Take Two Sips When: You feel compelled to sing
Take Three Sips When: Someone is singing and flying at the same time

E! Online was all about nostalgia…
Take A Sip: Every time you feel the urge to scream “Rufi-oooooooo!”
Finish Your Drink: Every time you feel an overwhelming desire to turn it off and watch Hook instead.

annoyingactorfriend.comwent for random
Drink When:

  • the camera cuts to an actor who is not really paying attention.
  • really sassy Lost Boys.

Clarissa is explaining it all right now.

“Oh my god, what are we watching?” – Every boyfriend in the universe right this second.

If I was a teenage girl and a boy showed up in my room singing Broadway show tunes, I would think that this is quite the wrong tree to bark up.

Allison Williams has been singing songs about how great she is for a very long time.

What sort of magic spell did that stupid lullaby put on those little boys that they are sleeping through all of this?

The prevailing sentiment in the Guardian newsroom is that the accents are quite good.

What sort of snacks do you think Lean Dunham is eating right this very second?

Something tells me this is not the first time Allison Williams has climbed into a stranger’s window looking for a fairy.

If this song is supposed to put you to sleep, it’s certainly doing it’s job.

If this family is so damn rich, why are all of their children sleeping in the same bedroom?

Christmas Pudding is soaked in alcohol. I hope you are right now as well.

If you’re seeing a strange man peeping into your windows wouldn’t you, you know, call the police?

The variety and range of the accents on this show are even worse than the ones on American Horror Story: Freak Show.

That is a real dog, not a strange man in a suit.

Oh, I totally forgot that Christian Borle, who played the gay on Smash, is playing Smee, Captain Hook’s “special friend.”

Nikki Minaj and James Franco made a really lame joke about Peter Pan Live. Ugh. James Franco.

Updated

Welcome to the Peter Pan Live Blog

Hello everyone and welcome to Peter Pan Live: The Blog. Like Allison Williams’ wig we’re going to be plopped down here all night, not moving anywhere, no matter how bad it gets. If you would like to join me, please tune into NBC at 8pm and read along. Don’t worry, the page will refresh itself.

Of course Peter Pan is the follow up to last year’s Sound of Music Live, which garnered almost 19 million viewers during the live broadcast and almost 40 million with DVR playbacks, reruns, and people watching Kristen Wiig do her silly impersonation of it.

Peter Pan the musical was originally adapted for the stage in 1954 by Jerome Robbins, the choreographer behind West Side Story. He based it on writer JM Barrie’s own stage adaptation of his novel. The music is by a host of people including Broadway greats Jule Styne, Betty Comden and Adolph Green, Mark “Moose” Cherlap, and Carolyn Leigh.

Peter Pan has a history with NBC even longer than Al Roker’s. It aired live versions of the musical starring Mary Martin in 1955, 56, and 60. Back then you had to clap to keep Tinkerbell alive. Now we’re probably going to have to get #Tinkerbell to trend on Twitter to resurrect her.

Starring in this adaptation is, of course, Allison Williams whose father Brian sometimes slow jams the news on NBC. Christopher Walken, a long time song and dance man, plays Captain Hook (but, let’s be honest, is no Dustin Hoffman). Minnie Driver, a woman who has been in some movies I guess, plays the narrator and the adult Wendy. The young Wendy is played by Taylor Lauderman who was in the very excellent Bring It On: The Musical. Allanna Saunders plays the vaguely racist Native American chief Tiger Lilly. NBC would like you to know that she is descended from members of the Cherokee nation.

That’s pretty much all you need to know going in. We’re going to be watching with you, joking along, pointing out the good and the bad, and probably making fun of Allison Williams wig. OK, we’re definitely going to be making fun of Allison Williams wig. I believe it can fly.

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