Did you ever stop to think that you can mold a relationship? By picturing what outcomes are possible to create with one or more people, you can establish solid friendships, good family ties, and meaningful workplace relationships.
In your personal life, you can create healthy routines with someone, so you feel closer. This might be planning days together boating at the lake. Or, you can share meals with your neighbors a few times a year.
At work, you might hold planning meetings or group meetings to discuss productive ways to get things done.
Remember though, whatever you create in relationships will involve a vision. You can't lead other people if you can't picture where you want to lead them to.
"We all get so busy, we forget we have the power to create the future," says a young dentist we'll call Jason. "Time is nothing to waste. We need to invest in productive and fun activities, so we have some power over our lives _ through good connections with people."
Jason has started buying self-help books for his office personnel. "On Wednesday afternoons, I close the office at 2," he says. "I ask everyone to stay for an hour and share good ideas for work/life balance from the books I've provided."
He points out that his office manager, Katelynn, told the group that she didn't realize how much she was neglecting her husband. Katelynn started planning a Friday night date night with him. The couple, says Jason, also go for a drive on Sunday afternoons and watch a movie at home together afterwards.
These tips can help you create better relationships:
_ Look at your calendar realistically. If it's jam-packed, it might be time to say no to some things. Pencil in your parents, your kids, or your mate before everything else steals potential time for your family members.
_ Find out what people really enjoy. If your son likes superhero movies, make it a point to share those with him _ even if they're not your favorite movies. Creating memories with your son is the goal here.
_ Ask questions of others. Don't guess what they like to eat, drink, or do. Find out what their favorite foods or beverages are. Ask them what activities or restaurants they enjoy. Inquire about places they want to visit.
"I've learned to build fun day trips with my grandchildren," says a computer programmer we'll call Emily. "We make a list of places to go that all the kids enjoy. I used to plan days with them, but I didn't get input from them. Now, I tune into what they're thinking and feeling."
To create solid relationships, you want to make memories. You don't want to always be tugging at your spouse or your kids to get them into your routine. You want to co-create the fun times, plan them in detail, and enjoy executing your plans.
"My husband and I were trying to create a vision for a new home," says a friend of ours we'll call Deborah. "We'd been looking for over a year with no luck. Finally, we found a large older home two blocks from where we live. We envision hosting nice dinners there for our friends. We can picture creating nice memories there for people we care about."
Depending on luck is too risky in relationships. Taking control of decisions and deliberately figuring out how to create happiness for others will yield better results.
