Do you have family members or associates trying to take your power?
You know how this goes. You help to plan a family reunion or an annual meeting of a workplace committee, but somehow, two or three in the group start pushing you around. They question everything that comes out of your mouth.
Some people are on big ego trips. They long to demonstrate how powerful they are. So, they try to erase your influence.
However, if you can think clearly, resist getting emotional, and stand your ground, you'll end up with more power.
"I'm on a healthcare board where some of our executives want to shine," says a medical doctor we'll call Emory. "They slam me in these meetings, and almost mock me. Believe me, people can be rude because they never learned to respect others. They want to dominate."
We urged Emory to use advice we often give others in this situation:
_ Focus 100% on defining right from wrong. Moral values are your compass in life. If you flounder on defining this, you'll start to listen to the wrong people.
_ Don't let mean people cause you to react emotionally. Sure, you might know a man next door is beating his wife, but if you get emotionally involved, you'll get so exhausted dealing with it, you will fail to help the woman. Stay cool and figure out what to do.
_ Offer your help to your worst enemies. No, this doesn't mean helping someone trying to physically harm you or someone stealing your money. This means if a committee at work is giving you a hard time, email them to say, "I can print those documents you need for the meeting." Staying in the game is the key factor in beating failure and defeat.
_ Park your foul language. We all know the bad words, and we can use them with the smooth tongue of a poet. Instead, learn to say, "We've got to solve this and not get upset. We aren't going to waste time on emotions and reacting."
Trust your inner voice when you know someone is hateful, uncompromising, deceitful or a criminal trying to do harm. Don't try to fool yourself. That would be a major mistake.
How you manage yourself is all that you've got control over. So, manage yourself so calmly and smoothly that your enemies get nervous. They know you're not going to bend your principles.
"The hospital I worked in was getting huge kickbacks from a drug company," says a man we'll call Aaron. "Some of the drugs were causing horrible reactions. But, our leadership tried to hush everybody up."
Aaron stayed calm and figured out his strategy. He contacted the hospital's state licensing board, met with them in person, and asked them to help him remain anonymous. An investigation eventually forced accountability at the hospital.
"If you have a tricky problem with people getting hurt, it's okay to report what's going on anonymously," says Aaron. "What other choice do you have, unless you're open for getting sued yourself? Tell yourself, 'I'll figure out a way to break the silence on whatever is hurting someone.' "
Emotional reactions can drain you in dozens of ways. Responding with strength, intelligence, and self-control will build up your mental well-being. Withstanding stress in this way makes you more powerful for the next challenge life throws your way.
