And that will do you for today. Pep Guardiola, new Manchester City manager, has spoken. He will no doubt speak more in the coming days. And then do some managing. The latter bit can’t come soon enough.
Despite his clear discomfort, Guardiola did speak with the requisite enthusiasm one might expect from a man starting a new job, and you get the feeling that he was desperate for all this hoopla and, frankly, bullshit to be out of the way so he could just get some flipping work done.
Guardiola also mentioned that it was his ‘dream’ to play in England, but while that didn’t happen, his ‘dream’ has come true now.
So what did we learn from that? Well, firstly that Guardiola looked entirely uncomfortable throughout, like he was desperately looking for an escape hatch to free him from this hell of self-promotion. He looked rather more relaxed in previous photos when watching some of City’s kids training. Like this one.
No pressure, lads... You've only got Pep watching you play! ⚽️ #ItBegins pic.twitter.com/IG113HvsYz
— Manchester City (@ManCity) July 3, 2016
Well that was emotional stuff. At one point Guardiola also said he wanted to “hug” and “kick the arse” of his players, the old one-man good cop, bad cop routine that when done properly of course can work rather well, but could equally leave a man rather confused.
There’s a delightful Manc twang to the chants of ‘Oooohhhh Pep Guardiola’ to the tune of ‘Seven Nation Army’. Which, of course, is to be expected.
“Gwaaaaaaarrrrrn Pep!” rather aggressively bellows a man from the crowd.
Now a procession of players, from the boys’ youth teams, to England captain Steph Houghton, as well as Kelechi Iheanacho, come out dressed in the club’s new kit. Guardiola enjoys some light banter with Houghton. Hey Jude is played. This is highly emotional stuff.
A few more bits from Guardiola:
“I have no preconceptions at all about coming to England or the football in the Premier League. I want to learn as much as possible. I have an idea of how we will play, but when I arrived in Germany with Bayern Munich, I had some ideas of how the team would play but changed them as I went along.”
He’s asked if he knows any Manchester City songs. Somewhat tentatively, he says “Errmmm....Blue....Moon...?”
Which inspires a bout of singing of said song from the crowd. But not, alas, from Guardiola.
‘Are you going to buy Messi?’ yells a scamp in the crowd.
“He’s not a bad player, this guy. But I’m sorry, Messi has to stay in Barcelona for the rest of his career.”
“What we do here, training with the players, it’s for the people. We think ‘Wow, we made the people happy. In the end, that is the game.”
“First I have to meet my players, so I know whether I can demand something from my players that they can’t give. I have to know if I can feel it, and my players have to know me as well.”
Here he comes! #ItBegins https://t.co/xmQYlBjb3R
— Manchester City (@ManCity) July 3, 2016
A question about what are the most important qualities as a player:
“A good teammate. I like players who think a little about themselves, but more about Manchester City. We want players who will make this a better club, in three, four, five years.
Another, from Twitter, whether he will adapt his tactics for the Premier League:
“My tactics are from the players - we have to know and trust each other.”
And now some questions from the fans: ‘How well do you know the existing players?’ asks someone called Callum, who I hope is nine-years-old.
“I know them well, from playing against them. But the past is the past, and we want to do well in the future.”
What is at the top of your to-do list?
“Play good. And after, try to win one game. And after, the second game.”
On the City Academy:
“One of the reasons I came here is that I knew how much work they are doing with the young players. The fans need the players who grew up in the Academy, because they feel something special about those players.”
“Every manager in the world wants to improve his players. I work like all managers in the world - I have my point of view, how I want my players to play. As soon as possible, we want to create a team spirit - after that, we can talk about tactics. The most important thing is our body language etc.”
“I proved myself where I was born in Barcelona, I proved myself in Deutschland...and at the end what I want is our supporters to enjoy and be proud of what we did. After that, maybe we’ll achieve titles. We need our fans - I cannot do this alone. Without our fans, it’s impossible.”
Quite obviously, that one gets a round of applause.
“Thank you for giving me this chance to live in England,” he says, revealing that he might not have been reading the news over the last week or so.
AND HERE HE IS. To the strains of (What’s The Story) Morning Glory?, he strides onto a stage that wouldn’t look out of place at a mid-level music festival. He’s sitting on a stool. He’s wearing a grey t-shirt.
The ill person is seemingly being taken care of. And now the lady introducer is running down all the things he’s won. Just to outline that this guy is a Good Manager, which will come as a surprise to everyone no doubt. Now here’s an overblown introduction video with portentous music.
Oh god, someone’s been taken ill in the crowd just as Guardiola was about to come out. The lady introducing him has called for a first aider or a medic. Hope whoever’s in bother is OK...
Pep’s being introduced on stage. You can cut the excitement in the air with a fish knife.
Pep’s gone for casual attire for the big arrivalling.
Welcome to City, Pep! #ItBegins pic.twitter.com/hUKoSPNPp3
— Manchester City (@ManCity) July 3, 2016
Preamble
He’s here! Carried high upon shoulders, sitting astride the finest litter in the land, with boys feeding him grapes and fanning him down, Pep Guardiola is in Manchester to start work as manager of City, City, City! Of course he’s probably actually been working for some time, arranging the signings of Ilkay Gundogan and Nolito, as well as adding Mikky Arteta to his coaching staff...but stuff all that because he’s here! Today is Josep’s unveiling, not to the grubby questioners of the press, but to a select band of Manchester City fans, who’ll get to ask their new leader a few things. We’re hear to tell you exactly what he says in response to those questions. Let’s just hope it doesn’t go all Five Star...
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